fil vent — The Bump
February 2012 Moms

fil vent

My fil is here from Colombia.  He's not Colombian-just lives there so that he doesn't have to work and can "chase" women (collects social security and the women thinks he's rich).  He has been here for a week and a half and is staying until the end of February. He's driving me crazy because he doesn't do anything to help around the house and naps all day on the couch in front of the tv. He also has some nasty habits like always eating on the couch (crumbs/stains everywhere), trimming his nails in my car and scratching dead skin off the top of his head onto the floor.

So, here's why I'm super pissed:

He doesn't want to play with his granddaughters.  My five year old finally talked him into playing Chutes and Ladders a few days ago.  She has played it long enough to know all of the rules.  They couldn't even get started because he kept arguing with her and telling her that she didn't understand the game.  Then, he quit about 2 minutes after they finally started playing and said, "I'm too old to sit on the floor and play games. Grandpas belong on the couch."  As if that wasn't bad enough, he started taunting her by saying, "Oh, so you're just going to pout, now?" 

Big change of plans-dh and I have decided that we should keep the girls in the room next to ours until he leaves (we were planning on setting up the nursery in there). We don't want to deal with the nonsense that will come along with moving them to the other end of the house next to his room.  I'm also not about to put the nursery next to his room.  We set up the crib in our room, and I've started moving all of Molly's things into our bedroom as well.

I've also asked our close friends to help us take care of the girls when we're at the hospital. I would be so uncomfortable leaving them alone with him.  Now, I just need to keep calm until the end of February.  I did tell dh that we should change his flight if Molly comes early.  I think that it's going to drive all of us crazy if he's around a newborn for much more than a week. 

Just had to get that off my chest.  I'm trying so hard not to complain to DH, but I haven't been this irritated for a long time. 

 

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Re: fil vent

  • Is there something he can be doing other than sitting on the couch all day? Yuck, that would drive me nuts. I would have your DH talk to him about getting up and doing something productive or useful around the house. AND I would tell him not to talk to my DD like that.
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  • Wow, sorry you're having to deal with that stress just before LO arrives...
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  • imagekellymiller409:
    Is there something he can be doing other than sitting on the couch all day? Yuck, that would drive me nuts. I would have your DH talk to him about getting up and doing something productive or useful around the house. AND I would tell him not to talk to my DD like that.

    I asked DH to talk to him about how he is treating DD.  He thinks that his dad is just lazy and selfish, but doesn't mean to be hurtful.  Right after it happened, I took DD to her playroom and told her that grandpa was wrong.  I told her not to ask him to play with her again.  Then, we played the game together.

    I still think that DH needs to talk to him about how to treat our children.  I'll ask DH to give him some suggestions about what to do with his time as well. :)

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  • imageladybuggirls99:

    imagekellymiller409:
    Is there something he can be doing other than sitting on the couch all day? Yuck, that would drive me nuts. I would have your DH talk to him about getting up and doing something productive or useful around the house. AND I would tell him not to talk to my DD like that.

    I asked DH to talk to him about how he is treating DD.  He thinks that his dad is just lazy and selfish, but doesn't mean to be hurtful.  Right after it happened, I took DD to her playroom and told her that grandpa was wrong.  I told her not to ask him to play with her again.  Then, we played the game together.

    I still think that DH needs to talk to him about how to treat our children.  I'll ask DH to give him some suggestions about what to do with his time as well. :)

    AH, I am so sorry you have to go thru that! Maybe I am just a jerk...but he would be leaving like YESTERDAY. haha Hope it gets better!
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  • You are a saint for having him stay with you for two months.  I love my IL's but could not imagine them moving in for that long, especially if they aren't willing to help out or at least attempt to bond with their grandchildren.

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  • maybe you could suggest he check out some close-by hotels, and maybe even offer to split the cost if its getting to be too much.

    My FIL stayed with us for a few days last month. He was great around here with helping out, and I was ready for him to leave after a few days. I cant imagine what it must be like for you! 

    But I agree wiht PPs that its your DH's job to address his behaviour. What if you asked him to do something specific like vacuum while youre out?

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