My SIL is an idiot (vent)
BitsKD13
member
One of my SILs just stopped by to give R a book about praying and meditating to cure all illness. Yep even the chronic and/or deadly ones. What a load of BULLSH*T!
Again she started on the whole "once this treatment is over don't let them do anything to you again" line of crap. She also seems to have it in her head that the biopsy in November caused the cancer to come back. You f-ing idiot, he had the biopsy done to REMOVE the damn cancerous mass.
She seriously doesn't get it and it's pissing both of us off. And I know I'm reacting much worse this time because my friend just passed away last Tuesday after loosing her fight with cancer. Honestly if prayer and meditation were all that were needed to f-ing cure cancer my friend would be alive and healthy right now... and I would not be going to a funeral the same day R's treatment starts again.
I told R that either he, or his mom, need to explain to her how cancer works and that NO prayer doesn't heal everything. I've lost too many people to cancer and other chronic illnesses to believe that praying every day will make it all better. And if I hear her start on that line of crap again I am going to start yelling at her because I cannot pull my anger at such an idiotic belief in long enough to be discuss it with her and be civil.
I'm not saying prayer can't do great things, I know it can. However, I know that God doesn't answer all prayers the way we wanted. And if all it takes to cure cancer is prayer than there wouldn't be so many organization raising money for a cure. And yes I know that she's concerned and coming from a loving place. But don't start pushing your religion at R. (I also warned R that if her pastor comes by here without an invite from R then I am going to flip the f-out - yep good response for the president of my church's council {i.e. ME} to have.)
Now I'm a pissed off and crying mess and trying really hard not to be snippy with R. And to think I was having a good day and doing well not to think about the emotionally draining week I have ahead of me.
Re: My SIL is an idiot (vent)
I'm not of the religious nature by any stretch of the imagination but I have friends of all denominations.. so I respect the fact that they believe as they do and they respect the fact I don't. No one tries to shove it down anyone elses throat.
She probably doesn't know how to admit that her beliefs won't cure all...because then she has to rethink her whole belief system. Which for some is harder than dealing with a real loss.
try not to let it bother you.... you have other things to worry about now.
~*{(Hugs)}*~
Honestly, if that was my SIL, I would have told her off and kicked her out of my house!
I don't do well with others shoving religions off on me or my family and I don't do well in getting unsolicited medical advice from people who aren't in health care. So I understand how you feel!
I'm soo very sorry you even had to deal with a person like that! You and your DH know what's best for your family, so you do what you have to do and don't feel bad about it!
You're pregnant and you had a wonderful day ruined by SIL...you have every right to be upset! I hope your day/night gets better and things turn around so you can enjoy New Years Eve & New Years!
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I honestly hope everything turns out well with R and your whole family.
I had a friend lose her sister to lymphoma a few years ago and her sister's H kept saying the same stuff over and over about prayer healing everything. Finally, her mom said "look, what do you think this medicine is FOR?? People prayed for years and now we finally have the tools to do something about it. That's the answer you're looking for, not some miracle cure."
That's the best thing I had heard in response to the anti-medicine counter-culture. I don't know if it will help with your SIL, but sometimes there's nothing else to say...
My grandfather has pancreatic cancer. He was also a surgeon. His current wife (number 4... who is actually younger than all of my grandfather's children) has convinced him somehow to forgo all medical treatment, and instead use aromatherapy. Aromatherapy for cancer? I saw him at Thanksgiving, and he looked terrible. I know she is well-meaning, but it is poor information on her part to convince him to skip treatment he knows will help.
Just like for any other situation in the universe, people are prone to give ill-advised, unsolicited advice. I'm terribly sorry that you and yours have to go through this, and having all this bad advice thrown out you is definitely not making things any easier. Stay strong and roll with the punches.
Thanks ladies. I was just so pissed off last night I needed to vent to someone besides R (cause yeah, he doesn't need anymore stress).
What kills us is his sister wasn't always like this. She used to be more... normal. Then in the past four years she's started getting into church more and now is one of those "pray about everything" types. And I mean EVERYTHING, at least that's how it seems.
The other problem is for a long time R didn't really have faith (which we both think has something to do with Catholic schools and his mom being a Baptist). And now what faith he does have is not very strong at this point. So the last thing it, or he, needs is someone trying to force their religion down his throat.