Babies: 6 - 9 Months

"MOM" just ain't "Sexy" -- NBR

I think pregnancy killed my sex appeal.  Not that we were complete animals before, but... We have been intimate (with our clothes off) ONCE since I started showing.  Because of a complication with the baby during pregnancy I was told by doctors to stop ALL activity at week 30.  ...Instead we stopped at week 25. 

The birthing process didn't do much to turn my husband on.  Neither did the giant boobs when my milk came in.  ...The leaking and squirting of milk didn't tickle his fancy either, strangely enough. 

The combo of me being healthy duing pregnancy, delivering a tiny baby, nursing, and working out after delivery has helped me lose all my baby fat PLUS some AND my cup size went up, but the hubby still ain't horny.

It's been 9 months since I delivered the baby and 12 months since our last intimate night with each other... not that I'm counting or anything.  How do you rekindle the romance? Or do I just need to enjoy this "time off" and realize that our relationship is fine without the sex?

Re: "MOM" just ain't "Sexy" -- NBR

  • I can't answer for you BUT if it were me in that situation i would miss the intimacy with my husband.  A break from sex is nice but 12 months is a LONG time.  I wouldn't try to jump back into it all at once.  After this long it would be tough to do.  Maybe start with a night just for you two (get a sitter for overnight if possible) and just go to dinner (eat slowly, how long has it been since you actually got to enjoy your own meal) and have some wine! Then just go and lay together (no TV or movies) and talk/snuggle/kiss.  Even if that's the only thing you's a start in the right direction.  Most'll lead to more :)  


    Good luck! 

  • this is a conversation for your husband. He can best answer these questions.
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  • I agree that you should start with a date and foreplay and keep expectations low. There is always sex counseling to try if you can bring it up with your H.
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                               photo photosig3_zps92919c91.jpg Just said good bye Sept. 19th (MMC at 12 weeks)
  • You need to talk to your husband about this.  This is not good for your marriage.  We are tired a lot still, with an 8-month-old who sleeps 12 hours a night straight. 

    We still make sure to have sex whenever we can.  And we contantly hug, kiss, touch, hold hands, etc.  It's extremely important to us.  We just do it! 

    I've also made it a top priority to lose all the weight, get toned up and back in running shape as quickly as possible.  Now I'm back to my old self and feel great, so I do feel sexy again. 

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  • I don't think any marriage is "fine without sex." Or maybe its "fine" but it could/should be great. You definitely need to address this with your DH. I agree that a date night out would be a good place to start. Go out and buy some sexy lingerie and wear it under your clothes. It will help you feel sexy while your wearing it. And I have yet to hear of a man that could resist the woman he loves in some sexy lingerie! Even if you guys just end up making out the first few times (I doubt that will be the case...) it would be better than not being intimate at all. Having sex, touching, kissing, caressing are what make you more than just really good friends. 
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  • It seems like there is probably more going on that you should discuss with him. Thats definitely not typical or healthy for a marriage. Good luck!
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