Toddlers: 24 Months+

When did you feel a strong bond with baby #2?

I posted last month that I was having guilty feelings about having a new baby.  Looking back it was probably baby blues because I cried one night feeling sorry for DD #1, and also felt guilty because I didn't have as much of a bond with DD #2 yet.  Well my turning point was a couple weeks ago and those feelings are quickly fading the more and more I get to know DD #2.  My question is, when did you have as strong of a bond with your second child, as you do with your first?
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Re: When did you feel a strong bond with baby #2?

  • Good question. I think so many women just expect to have an instant bond with their babies because that's how it's suppose to be and many women are afraid to admit they haven't formed that bond. I think it took a few weeks for me.Not that I didn't love him, I just hadn't formed a strong bond yet. I had very high anxiety when he was born and I think that played into it as well.
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  • It took longer with DS2.  He was probably a few months old when we really bonded.  He was such an easy child and didn't require as much attention as DS1.  Now I have a stronger bond with DS2 then I do with DS1.  DH has more of a connection with DS1.  I think it is because DS1 is just like me and DS2 is just like him.  
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  • With my first-2 weeks

    With my second-6 weeks

    With my third-4 weeks


  • I actually had a stronger bond with #2 than I did with #1. I think because I had more confidence as a mom and was more relaxed. Looking back, I think I had the baby blues with DS because it took awhile for me to feel that bond. I didn't really feel connected to him until he smiled at me for the first time. I guess I needed that reassurance from him. 
  • Immediately!  However, it took a long time with DD--my first.  I had a traumatic birth and she was sick at birth.  She didn't BF which I sooo wanted (the boys did).   I didn't have confidence and always question myself.  #2 and #3 births were great and I was sooo much more confident.  I often say, #2 made me love being a mom. 

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  • i don't thikn you can really compare "bond".

    I know I love my boys all the same... but when i think of "bond" i think of who i know the best- and that would be my older son, b/c i simply know more about him- know who he really is (and becoming)... while the twins are still young and still turning into their little selves.


    I used to be Goldie_locks_5 but the new nest is so screwed up that I was forced to start over.
  • Oh goodness great question. I felt a bond with dd2 probably around 1-2 months old. BUT I didn't feel like I really knew her as a baby until a few weeks ago. DD1 adjusted horribly to dd2 so it's been a year of trying to deal with dd1 reacting to dd2 plus dd2 was not an easy baby (and dd1 was pretty easy as a newborn/infant), didn't and still doesn't sleep, bad separation anxiety, etc. The guilt I feel for dd2 is still horrible though, felt like I could never been the Mom she needed because of dd1 and trying to run my own business. : (
  • Right away. I have a DD and was kind of nervous about having #2 and a son but once he was born it was instant love. I love my little man so much and I feel so blessed to have him and my DD. She loves him also and I feel like our family of four is perfect!
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