Toddlers: 24 Months+

Advice needed re birthday party and requesting no gifts.

DS got a TON for christmas and already had a lot of toys. There are many many things that we are just going to donate to local charities because he has multiples, doesn't need it, or we don't have room.

So, I want to put this quote on his invitation "Your presence is the only present desired" BUT I know that grandparents and my siblings will bring gifts. I do not want anyone to feel awkward about not bringing gifts.

Any advice or thoughts? BTW, we are VERY thankful for what DS has and has been given... don't want to sound ungrateful.

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Re: Advice needed re birthday party and requesting no gifts.

  • I assume his bday is soon? so not too far away from holidays?

    do you either

    A) need clothes for the next season and you can suggest to family he ONLY needs clothes since he had a wonderful holiday...

    B) set up a "gifting station" for people to bring gifts that will go directly to a local charity...

     

  • Any presents brought I would just set aside, not hidden, just aside.  Do not open them at the party...that would make me feel awkward if I hadn't brought one.  At least this is what I would do.
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  • I can see where you are coming from, I truly do.  We have toys coming out the wazoo, but I wouldn't feel comfortable saying anything.  It is just too tricky of a situation.  Some people might have already got him a gift, some might still want to give him a gift and want to see him opening it, some will follow your instructions but will feel like complete aholes when they show up empty handed to a kid's birthday party when others did not.  I would just have a regular b-day party and the gifts he isn't interested in or you don't have room for I would donate.  I am sure it would make some other child very happy. 

    That is just my opinion and experience. 

  • It is a tough call. I attended a 4 year old's birthday party last weekend and even though the evite said "gifts are not necessary" there was a table with probably 20 gifts on it! I felt so bad for not bringing anything, especially since the family gave DD a gift on her birthday. 
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  • I feel the same way with DDs birthday coming up! I would include your message on the invite, but then speak to close family (that you think will buy presents anyway), and either 1. ask them to come earlier to open the gifts, before other guests arrive; or 2. suggest they give you guys money towards something like a museum pass, a swimming lesson, etc for LO. That way they can give a gift, without making a "present opening" scene at the party. 
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  • Will the guests be mostly adults or kids? My friend had a party for her son and in place of gifts, they did a "board game exchange." Each kid brought a wrapped board game and got to choose a different one to take home. It seemed to work well. 

    If your family is going to insist on gifts, I would either have them arrive early or stay late to open and set them aside for the party. I'm also a fan of the membership or lesson idea.  

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  • We did this on DD's 1st bday. Since we have so much already and many of our family tends to go WAY overboard on gifts, I requested on the invite- no gifts, however if you wish to bring something we are taking a collection for the local woman's shelter and they can use diapers, wipes, etc. (I had gotten a list from the shelter). Most people brought boxes of diapers and wipes which we brought to the shelter (and most commented they thought it was awesome we did this). Some people brought gifts still which we just opened after everyone had left.
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  • imageDBride2006:

    Will the guests be mostly adults or kids? My friend had a party for her son and in place of gifts, they did a "board game exchange." Each kid brought a wrapped board game and got to choose a different one to take home. It seemed to work well. 

    If your family is going to insist on gifts, I would either have them arrive early or stay late to open and set them aside for the party. I'm also a fan of the membership or lesson idea.  

    I LOVE this idea!  You can do books, games, action figures/dolls anything!  You can do art supplies... I'm stealing this!!  we do no gifts, too, but we do a separate party for friends and family- because I would never ask family not to spoil their little ones, so to speak. 

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  • We have always requested no gifts. But my mom and MIL always bring gifts so we either open them earlier, before friends get to the party, or after friends leave.
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  • I get what you are saying totally !! DD's birthday is christmas eve so it's always crazy with toys. While I did not say no gifts at her party I asked the grandparents ( who always go way way overboard) to please tone it down this year and if they wanted to buy one or two toys that was fine but we really wanted money invested for her. So they listened mpthe grandparents and my aunts all deposited only for DD in her account and the have her a smaller present. It worked great! I would talk to the family members about doing that and the asking friends not to bring gifts. Hopefully they will listen! 
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