Am I being over sensitive?

MrsMAF

Ok, I'll admit, I'm super sensitive these days but I'm really upset with DH today. I'll try to make this short. 

He has the week off, I'm still on mat leave, but only for 2 more weeks. I have 3 stepchildren that live with us full time. His mom came down to visit starting on Wed. Yesterday she wanted to see the boys(my stepsons) snowboard, so we all went up to the mountain, about an hour away to sit in a lodge and watch them snowboard, which you can barely see them until the very bottom of the mountain, kind of pointless.  At first I wasn't going to go because of LO, and the BF'ing, and whatnot but I decided to make it work, and I actually nursed in public for the first time. Ok, so long story short very late last night my DH says "my mom and I are going to take the boys up to the mountain again in the early morning". I said, um, ok again? he didn't say to me, did you want to come or is there something else you wanted to do? Nothing. I told him that I had been looking forward to this week with him for months and was not happy that he is going up to the mountain all day. He sort of just brushed it off. 

I am upset because even on weekends, we have so much going on with my stepkids that we barely get to spend time together so as much as I have loved being home with LO, sometimes it gets lonely without DH and I miss him so much.

I wake up this morning after everyone leaves and my stepdaughter(17) says, did Dad tell you that you're driving me to work today? UM, no, but ok. Like, I just feel that he up and left and went and had a nice day and i got to stay home and do the usual cleaning, chaueffuering my stepdaughter around and taking care of LO. We could have dropped the boys off at the mountain, gone into town, had a nice lunch, glass of wine, went back watched the boys board (of course with his mom too), and I could have been included. I almost feel like because it would have been a hassle to take LO up there again, and my stepdaughter would have no ride to work, he just left me home to take care of it. 

I'm really not expressing myself well with this, but I just look forward to every day that I have this week with him, and am upset that I was left behind without a second thought. 

Thanks for reading if you made it this far... 

brideinOC

Big hugs...no advice. 

Mouseygail

I'd be upset too!  I hope that you can sit down with your DH and talk to him about this and get him to understand how you feel.  He might not even know you are upset...men are pretty oblivious sometimes...  My DH didn't realize I was mad at him for 3 hours last night...because I was too stubborn to tell him, and then it just kept escalating.  I'm sorry  

dundasgirl

I don't think you are being oversensitive...but I will say that my DH is clueless to how I am feeling about things unless I express myself clearly.  Maybe your DH got the vibe that you didn't really want to be there yesterday?  And was trying to get you out of it?  Maybe you could ask your MIL to stay home with your son for a couple of hours this weekend and you could go out with your DH alone?

I have no idea of the dynamics of your household either.  Having step-children is something I know nothing about. 

etoyama

Aw hon I'm sorry! I'd be mad too. My DH has been known to do stuff like this out of pure ignorance. It's still so frustrating though.

artygirl

I understand why you feel the way you do, but I also think you might be being a little over sensitive. 

Reading your post, it seems to me that you would like to spend quality time with DH during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your stepkids also want to spend time with your DH during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your MIL also wants to spend time with your DH and her grandkids during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your DH is being pulled into a lot of different directions. 

Is it possible that since you think that watching the boys snowboard was kind of pointless that other people may have picked up on that vibe too?

I know how hormonal and lonely one can get having a newborn, so I do see why you feel upset and it does sound like your husband kind of kicked you to the curb today.  Are you upset at how he handled the situation or the fact that he is doing stuff with he stepkids/mother two days in a row?  or both? 

MrsMAF

artygirl:

I understand why you feel the way you do, but I also think you might be being a little over sensitive. 

Reading your post, it seems to me that you would like to spend quality time with DH during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your stepkids also want to spend time with your DH during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your MIL also wants to spend time with your DH and her grandkids during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your DH is being pulled into a lot of different directions. 

Is it possible that since you think that watching the boys snowboard was kind of pointless that other people may have picked up on that vibe too?

I know how hormonal and lonely one can get having a newborn, so I do see why you feel upset and it does sound like your husband kind of kicked you to the curb today.  Are you upset at how he handled the situation or the fact that he is doing stuff with he stepkids/mother two days in a row?  or both? 

He is indeed pulled in many different directions....I am all for him hanging out with his mom, with my stepkids etc...I just wanted to be a part of it too. I had wanted us all to do something together today anyway, his mom, the kids, so i have no problem with not having 'alone' time with him(I'm very used to that), but I just wanted to be included in what he was doing with the rest of the family...it's not like he went out with his guy friends, it was the family. As far as the vibe and him picking up on me thinking it's pointless...I don't think he would think anything of it, because he thought it was kind of silly yesterday that we couldn't really see the kids coming down the mountain, we thought we'd be able to see more.

I just felt really excluded, I didn't want to take him away from his mom or the kids, I just wanted to be a part of it too. 

krissyh21

MrsMAF:

artygirl:

I understand why you feel the way you do, but I also think you might be being a little over sensitive. 

Reading your post, it seems to me that you would like to spend quality time with DH during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your stepkids also want to spend time with your DH during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your MIL also wants to spend time with your DH and her grandkids during his holiday vacation.  Makes sense to me!  Your DH is being pulled into a lot of different directions. 

Is it possible that since you think that watching the boys snowboard was kind of pointless that other people may have picked up on that vibe too?

I know how hormonal and lonely one can get having a newborn, so I do see why you feel upset and it does sound like your husband kind of kicked you to the curb today.  Are you upset at how he handled the situation or the fact that he is doing stuff with he stepkids/mother two days in a row?  or both? 

He is indeed pulled in many different directions....I am all for him hanging out with his mom, with my stepkids etc...I just wanted to be a part of it too. I had wanted us all to do something together today anyway, his mom, the kids, so i have no problem with not having 'alone' time with him(I'm very used to that), but I just wanted to be included in what he was doing with the rest of the family...it's not like he went out with his guy friends, it was the family. As far as the vibe and him picking up on me thinking it's pointless...I don't think he would think anything of it, because he thought it was kind of silly yesterday that we couldn't really see the kids coming down the mountain, we thought we'd be able to see more.

I just felt really excluded, I didn't want to take him away from his mom or the kids, I just wanted to be a part of it too. 

This is telling me he was trying to save you, more than exclude you. 

Dragonfly1226

I hate being left behind like that. I think it was rude and inconsiderate of your dh to go off like that. I'm sorry hon. (((((hugs)))))

google123

awww.  Not the biggest deal in the world, but I could see how your feelings could be hurt.  Is he always like this, or just a one time thing?  If it's just this once, then I'd let it go.  Nobody's perfect, and there are worse things in life than that.