This is totally TMI, but seriously, why doesn't anyone warn you about this stuff in advance?
-Incontinence: If I cough, sneeze, or laugh too hard, I have to change my underwear. I've started wearing panty liners because I was running out of underwear.
-Constipation: Despite the fact that I can pee at the drop of a hat, I can't poop to save my life without some degree of effort.
-Hemerrhoids: Nothing to say about this, really. They suck.
-Stiffness: Conversely, I feel about 85 when I get out of bed in the morning. I can barely move, and trying to get out of the body pillow contraption I sleep in (we call it my command center) is a sight to see.
What am I missing?