Too many emotions, not enough friends to talk to...(sort of NBR)

kristin172429

I come to this board a lot to vent and kind of unload when I am feeling overwhelmed - mostly because I don't have a lot of people in my life that I can really talk to - mostly just DH.  So, sorry if it is annoying and off-topic.  It just makes me feel so much better to put it out there somewhere.

Right now, I am just feeling completely emotional and stressed.  Money is tight, DH is out of work on a disability without pay, and I am really realizing that I don't have a job anymore and all that will mean.  Everything is starting to make me cry and I know the stress and sadness aren't good for me or LO.  I need to have a serious conversation with DH because I have been carrying the burden of this stress for our little family - I handle the money and I see where we don't have any!  I know he has a medical issue preventing him from working, but it is so hard seeing him home knowing that him just going to work solves so much of this stress.  He's not medically-cleared yet anyway, so it is kind of a moot point, but other than feeling bad about the situation, I don't feel like he is really getting it.

I am just stressing out and reacting emotionally to so many things.  I had to tell my doctor's office I had to wait to pay their bill until my next check and managed to break down into tears in their office.  I was so embarrassed that this is what is happening to us right now and then I was just so embarrassed for crying and not being able to stop.  I can't contain it anymore.  Everything is too raw.

We have friends up from Florida that are visiting family locally and we were supposed to get together Wednesday with them and another friend, but the H got sick.  So, they said we would try and get together another time before they leave Saturday.  That was fine....until I see pics of the other friend and them out tonight and they didn't even try to call us.  I can't help it.  My feelings are hurt.  I am probably being more sensitive to it right now, but with the few friends I do have, it makes me sad that they would have made plans without us and now I don't know if we will see them at all while they are here.  Sometimes I think I think I am better friends with people than they think they are with me.  

Okay....well, I'm upset and just unloading on here and this is a board to talk about pregnancy and LOs on their way and I am just loading it down with my stress and sadness, so I am just going to stop typing now.  Thanks for listening if you did stop to read.  Sorry to be such a bummer. 

SeptemberBride'08

That is a lot to deal with. Money will always get you down because no matter what you do in life, you need it. I am so sorry you are so stressed. I would probably be hurt if I saw my friends out and they didn't give me a call as well. I hope things get better for you. (((hugs)))

chippy3465

I agree with PP. When people say money isn't everything it kills me bc it's a lot of what our lives revolve around. Esp with a LO on the way it's completely natural to feel the way you do. We went from a 2 income household to a 1 income and I still have my moments of omg how are we going to do this and I get bummed and feel embarrassed esp when the bills are piling up and I'm calling companies to work out payment plans. When it comes to your friends I'm sure they didn't mean any harm by it but I know that it hurts. It's def something I would be upset about but prego hormones seem to amplify it by a thousand.....yay hormones! I hope things get better for you. Don't worry about venting on here cause one thing I learned is that someone will always read it and we're all in this baby boat together, emotions and all

KRISTA555

I'm so sorry that you're so stressed out. I've been there.

Your DH will be cleared to go back to work soon, and that will help ease the burden quite a bit.  In the meantime, cut out anything unnecessary in your budget. Cable, eating out, snack foods, coffee, even internet if you can. There are always WiFi places around.

As far as bills go-- pay what you can, and don't worry about the rest. I know, easier said that done, but they can't get water from a rock. If you don't have it, you don't have it.  Pay your necessary bills first-- rent/mortgage, water, gas, electric, groceries. And then figure out the rest.  If bill collectors call you, answer the phone, be polite, but tell them the truth. "I don't have any money right now. I have every intention of paying you, but I don't have it today. "    If they turn rude on you, hang up. 

You're right, you do need to have a conversation with DH, but make sure that it comes about with the right spirit. The last thing you need right now is an argument, so approach the subject with sensitivity and willingness to listen to his side as well. Remember that it takes two people to have an argument. He might get defensive, but if you're prepared for that, and you forgive him in your heart ahead of time for it and remember that he's human, things will go much more smoothly. 

We (pregnant chicks) are definitely more emotional right now. It doesn't negate our feelings-- often time they are true feelings that we would feel no matter what-- but our reaction to them is often more severe.  I cry a lot lately, and I also get much more impatient with my husband and daughter... and then I cry when I apologize. LOL   Let's face it, pregnancy makes a person nuts.   But, don't beat yourself up about it. You can't help the emotions.. it's just a hormonal/physical reaction in combination with your stress. It's totally understandable. 

As far as your friends go-- you may be right, they may have blown you off, but it may be because they think that you have too much going on. You're pregnant and your husband is on disability and sick. If you were in their shoes, wouldn't you kind of think that it's probably a bad time and that maybe you should just let them call you?  It sounds to me like they want to hang out with you, they just don't want to bother you. So, take the bull by the horns and call them! If you want to see them, then tell them "I want to see you! Come over!"    No sense on waiting for them to call you. 

Cheer up.. things will get better. Life ebbs and flows.. sometimes its good, sometimes not so much. But you're about to meet your LO, and that will put a whole new perspective on things. 

::hugs::

kristin172429

Thank you all for your kind words and for responding.  These pregnancy emotions are more than I am used to and on top of a stressful situation, it just gets magnified.  I keep trying to remind myself that everything will be okay, that we are still better off than so many people in this world, and that no matter what happens, my sweet baby boy will be here in about a month and he needs his mom to take care of him!  I'll will definitely be talking to DH about this.  I think I have carrying more of this so only one of us has to worry, but that isn't really fair to either of us.  

Now, my goal is to just make it through another day with a more positive outlook than the one that overtook me last night.  Thank you ladies for your support.  It really does help.  I think my LO is trying to cheer me up, too - he's been doing a funny little dance in my belly all morning!