Moms of 2+. Tell me about your older LOs reaction to the new baby

love22

My poor toddler is having heck of a time. It was like the perfect storm. It was the last day of preschol when I delivered. Then my dad came. He spent 4 nights at my ILs. Next my mom came and then it was Christmas. Now my MIL who Usually takes care of him and has been stopping by to see him is going away for a week. He is on a sleep strike of sorts. He refuses to get in his bed and needs to rocked to sleep. He hasn't done that since he was like 9 months old. We have been trying to run him ragged but all his classes don't start for a while. Also it doesn't help that I can't pick him up because of my c section. What did your older child do when you had your 2nd plus? How long did it last? Any tips?

EmmieB

I have a feeling I'll be in your shoes in August. Lots of hugs to you. Hopefully someone will post something helpful soon. Good luck!

quesarah

A has been acting out some, but he was mostly indifferent at first.  We try to give him one on one time with one of us while the other one does something with the baby.  I've also told S "sorry mommy can't play with you, I'm going to play with A." Even though S doesn't care or could be sleeping.  I'm sorry you guys are having a tough time.  The tantrums have been worse since S arrived, but I know it's an age thing too.  

tri-reader

Ditto on the tantrums.  Mostly it was with my oldest when each new baby came along.  My middle not as much.  It is an adjustment period for them, and sorry to say it usually lasts the first 3 months when your newborn is the neediest, crying the most etc.  Once baby has settled into being outside of the womb, my kids have settled into having a new baby in the house.  Good luck!  I know it's rough!

ashleyhuney

We refer to A as J's sister pretty much whenever we talk about her. So much so that the few times that I've referred to her as my baby he corrects me and says that shes his baby, lol. Getting back into our normal day to day life was what helped J stop acting out, even the positive attention of grandparents helping out seemed to throw him off. Fortunately he has adored his sister from day one and gives her lots of love and plays with her well. He is always telling me to feed his sister, pick her up, whatever it is he thinks she needs, lol.

Meritage

Hugs!  Is your newborn a good sleeper?  I hope so!  Whenever my newborn (now 3!) would sleep, I'd play with my older child.  That "sleep when the baby sleeps" is a luxury you only have for your first child.  When you have two or more, you have to spend time with the other kid while the baby is sleeping.  I'd always have to remind myself that a sibling is a blessing and this new baby is such a gift for your older child!  He'll figure that out one day.  :-)

Structenggal

quesarah:

A has been acting out some, but he was mostly indifferent at first.  We try to give him one on one time with one of us while the other one does something with the baby.

This was the case for us.  DS1 was still pretty young when we brought DS2 home so he didn't really understand everything that was going on, but the one on one time with me each night really helped the situation.  

AvaLikeLava

Our situation was a blessing in disguise. G developed a super high fever the day before we were discharged from the hospital. S2 and I pretty much got quarantined to my bedroom and G had the run of the house and undivided attention from dad. And... Well it just somehow stayed that way.

In terms of the c/s, I just sat on the ground and then he could climb into my lap. It was really only a problem a handful of times for the month I wasn't allowed to lift anything heavy.

But I will say that not stopping him from preschool was key for us. We just kept his routine as close to his usual as we could.

Sorry it's so rough! 

 

NorcalLinds

Big hugs to you all! It's such a hard time. In those first few months I would try so hard to play with Logan 1-1 while Dylan slept. Luckily A was home from work so I would take him to the park, story time whatever it was. He needed to feel special, and I needed that time with him! I really missed Logan and felt guilty. We also joined an indoor play place to take him to. Tired him out, super nursing friendly, and the staff helped with Logan when I needed to tend to Dylan. Good luck!! 

MommySteph2009

It's been really rough for us, although now at 6 months it's starting to be much better.  DS # 1 acted up, reverted to baby behavior. He did not like that the baby was sleeping in our bed.  

DS was hurting the baby a lot, and still does- but it's getting less frequent thank goodness. 

soon2Bkranz

I *try* and not over think it with too much sympathy..I know that sounds so awful huh..But lots of things happen in their lives where they might be justified in acting out..but its still not ok. Like for my kids when I try to hard to force quality time then when it ends they always act up more. I just try and adjust with them and allow it to be our new lives and KNOCK ON WOOD. both times we have had a fairly easy adjustment. 

 With that said its hard sometimes. And I really like Sarahs idea of telling the baby that you can't play with them right now since you are playing with the older one. I do that sometimes.  

fricksgirl

It's hard at your age spread and man, the holidays on top of that are a double whammy!  Hugs!

My Alex was older (almost 4) when my Simon was born, so I don't have a lot of advice.  It was also summer and we just went out, out, out as much as we could.  

Big huge hugs, it gets better I promise!!  Hang in there!