Let's talk age differences

mrsmatto

DD will be 4 in June and by the time a new little one arrives, she will be closer to 4 1/2. Any thoughts on that big of an age difference? It's more than I would have liked but I just wasn't ready before now. Am I setting them up to be strangers to each other until they are adults? Would love to hear some thoughts.

aurora1974

Well,  my DD is 17 and will be going off to college in the fall, but I dont' think they will be strangers even at this big of an age difference.  They will obviously not have the same relationship as they would if DD was much younger, but it will be what it will be.  I am 5 years younger than my nearest sibling and we are not close, but that's mainly because he was closer in age to my sisters than me.  I think if these are your only two they will be fine.  You'll be surprised how the older one will look out for the younger.  That's what my brother always did.

FyreFlyeRush

Ehhh...mine will be 16 years apart, and my sister and I are 13 years apart with no other siblings. So, I don't think that's that big an age difference. Average is three years. And, I once read that ideal is 5 years apart, so the older siblings understand better why Mommy has to pay a lot of attention to Baby. My niece and nephew are three years apart... They fight like all siblings...and get a long the same way.

ammagin

I'm 4 1/2 years older than my brother.  My mom tells me that I enjoyed playing with him when I was younger.  What I remember is mostly being annoyed by home in middle school and high school I got to the point of just ignoring him.  As I reached college I learned to 'tolerate' him and as he got to college I learned to appreciate him.  We're not the best of friends but we are a happy family.

stever

That doesn't seem like that big of an age difference, but then I'm an only child so what would I know?

lhcooper

ammagin:

I'm 4 1/2 years older than my brother.  My mom tells me that I enjoyed playing with him when I was younger.  What I remember is mostly being annoyed by home in middle school and high school I got to the point of just ignoring him.  As I reached college I learned to 'tolerate' him and as he got to college I learned to appreciate him.  We're not the best of friends but we are a happy family.

OMG, exactly this (I'm 3 1/2 years older than my brother).  I think a lot of it has to do with gender difference, I'm sorry to say, at least with the 3-5 year gap like I and this poster have with our younger brothers.  But, what can you do? 

ebb7

I had always thought that I wouldn't want my kids any farther apart than 3 years. But, life got in the way and with my cancer treatment, it just wasn't possible. DD will be 4 months shy of 5 when this baby arrives. It is a big gap, but I think it is really going to depend on the kids' personalities whether they are close or not. My sister and I are 5 years apart and weren't super tight growing up but it was because she was soooo much more high strung than me and not because of the age gap.

 

BTW: Hi, mrsmatto! LOL.  

reinedecajun

mrsmatto:

DD will be 4 in June and by the time a new little one arrives, she will be closer to 4 1/2. Any thoughts on that big of an age difference? It's more than I would have liked but I just wasn't ready before now. Am I setting them up to be strangers to each other until they are adults? Would love to hear some thoughts.

Me and my sister are 3 1/2 years apart and so are all my kids. 3 years apart excatley, I see no issue with them being strangers as adults. My kids are almost 17, 13 and almost 11 and im not worried about them being estranged from the baby at all. Were close and plan on staying that way.

benniferbaby

ebb7:

My sister and I are 5 years apart and weren't super tight growing up but it was because she was soooo much more high strung than me and not because of the age gap.  

Ditto. My sister and I are 5 1/2 years apart. Growing up we were not very close. Now that we're both in our 30s, sometimes we are very close - we get each other's weirdness and we look out for each other. Sometimes I want to string her up by her underwear. I don't think you're setting them up to be strangers - they will adjust and find their own sibling rhythm.

GAPeach68

My boys will be almost 14 and 12 1/2 when this little surprise is born. Odd to think that Evan will go off to college and I will have a 4 yr old! But we are all excited. 

CopsGirl11103

My kids will be exactly 6 years apart. I think my DD will be a good helper, but I've been warned at jealousy too. Not to sure until the LO gets here.  : )

Aug Bride

My oldest dd is 11 and she is a great help with her two younger siblings.  I also have a 2 and 1 year old.   My two year old has really bonded with his older sister so I do not think age difference is a big factor.

WBMom

My two now are 4.5 years apart - was not what I had envisioned but it actually has been great!  The older one was able to understand the needs of a new baby and now they get along pretty good.   Now they are 2 and 7 - in fact right now they are both sleeping together in the same twin bed.  The little one wanted her sister with her tonight.  It's so sweet! 

heavencent70

My daughter will be just over 4 when our new baby arrives. I was worried about it, too, until I realized my sister is 4 years old than me and my brother, before he died, is/was 3 years younger than me. There was an age gap between my sister and my brother, but I was close to both of them in different ways. I played with both growing up. My brother and I were probably closer in that we understood each other better. Now for obvious reasons I am closer to my sister although we still are as different as night and day. It depends more on personality I think than age.