Lurker with a question.... — The Bump
Natural Birth

Lurker with a question....

What are some resources you used before deciding to go natural? I love the idea of natural birth but my husband isn't on board. We're not pregnant yet but it's something I'd like to read and thoroughly research so I have a strong case to present to him when the time comes. 

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CJ 05/29/2013

Re: Lurker with a question....

  • I witnessed my sister's home-birth. After that, I researched online, and then found the documentary The Business of Being Born. My husband watched it with me, and he was sold. 
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  • We took a natural childbirth class, I did prenatal yoga, we watched The Business of Being Born and I read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I'd start with Business of Being Birn, might get your DH to open up to it.
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  • Watch The Business of Being Born with him. That got my husband on the natural birth train so fast, he was more into it than me!
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  • My husband didn't quite understand my reasons for wanting to go natural at first, but he was happy to support me in any birth I chose.  That was not enough for me- I wanted him to also understand.

     In the end the best resource was showing him the Business of Being Born.  He really got what I had been telling him for months after watching that film.   After that he was fully supportive of NB.

    It really doesn't matter if your DH wants you to have a NB or not- it not his decision- it is your body and he should support you simply for that reason.

    If he is not going to be supportive, then I would suggest you hire a doula. 


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  • My FI was completely convinced after watching The Business of Being Born. It's very biased, but it at least explains common misconceptions. He's been open minded about everything else since then.
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  • PP have mentioned lots of good things: books by Ina May, the Business of Being Born, etc...I'd also try reading up on the Bradley Method and/or Hypnobabies.
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  • image pinksweetpea2:

    It really doesn't matter if your DH wants you to have a NB or not- it not his decision- it is your body and he should support you simply for that reason.

    If he is not going to be supportive, then I would suggest you hire a doula. 

    I agree with this. I never understand how husbands/partners get a say in what women do with their bodies, in all honestly.

    Two of my sisters had unplanned c-sections before I got pregnant with my first. They had both attempted med-free/"natural" birth. They were both pretty pretty traumatized by their experiences (pushed for hours and hours, had fairly rough recoveries, etc).

    The book "Pushed" came out right when I got pregnant, and reading that also solidified my interest in going med-free and using midwives and a doula, and trying to avoid the American Maternity System and all it entails. "The Thinking Woman's Guide to Birth" is a good run-down of what to expect in a hospital also. 

    FWIW, I still ended up with a c-section the first time, but had a med-free VBAC last year with my second son. 

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

  • Thanks for all the tips/advice/material recommendations! I wouldn't say he's not supportive, he just doesn't understand why I'd want to do it. I'm hoping once he's educated he'll be more into it.

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    CJ 05/29/2013

  • Also, and I know you said you're just researching, but men tend to not really want/need to deal with problems or situations until they are facing them. I get it, because I like to be prepared! But my husband is more like, "Why are we talking about this now?" So he may be more open to it once you're actually pregnant and he's envisioning it all as a reality.

    PP had good suggestions too. GL!

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  • Honestly, you shouldn't have to convince your husband to let you have any kind of birth you want. The data does support natural birth, but beyond that it's your body and you're the one that has to do it, and in my house, that means the mom gets full veto power over how it should be done. When he has to birth a baby, he can do it however he wants.

    "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" is good if he can be swayed by numbers.

  • My mom planned on having my brother at a BC (9 yrs ago), but their policy was that if the baby was more than a week overdue, they wouldn't do the birth. Unfortunately, she went 1 day over that limit and ended up having to go to the hospital. She had a horrible experience laboring and delivering there (pitocin for no seemingly good reason, no one listening to her/giving her any control, etc), and while she was having visits and classes at the BC I learned a lot about that environment and became interested in it for myself. Then, I watched the Business of Being Born last year. That pretty much cinched it for me.
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  • image vintagejjane:
    I witnessed my sister's home-birth. After that, I researched online, and then found the documentary The Business of Being Born. My husband watched it with me, and he was sold. 

    Mine was sold after watching this documentary too! 

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  • My DH wasn't exactly on board when I suggested the idea of a home birth and neither was my Mom.  For me, I don't think I would have been comfortable going for a home birth if I didn't have the support of my DH and Mom.

    I had them both watch the Business of Being Born, which is an excellent movie!  I also spoke with my midwives about my husband's concerns and they were great for addressing any and all concerns I had, as well as my DH's. 

    Here are some medical journals you could look at (I've given these to my husband too!):

    http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/181/6-7/377

    http://www.bmj.com/cgi/content/full/330/7505/1416

     



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