Gem of a question from the MIL (X-posted from Food Allergy)

sami1784

My LO has a milk protein allergy and is EBF, so I have been milk free since we found out about it when he was a month old.  As sure as I sit here and type this, my MIL asked a question the other day that I had to sit for a minute and wonder "did she really just ask that??" 

Her question: Can you eat macaroni and cheese if you use non-dairy butter and soy milk instead of regular milk?  (Note: she was talking about the Kraft Mac and Cheese with the powder stuff).

It took my FIL and me no less than 10 minutes to explain to MIL that I still can't have it, even if we use non-dairy butter and soy milk.  She just didn't get it.  This really makes me a lot less confident about letting her babysit LO when he starts eating solids.

alt0925

sami1784:

My LO has a milk protein allergy and is EBF, so I have been milk free since we found out about it when he was a month old.  As sure as I sit here and type this, my MIL asked a question the other day that I had to sit for a minute and wonder "did she really just ask that??" 

Her question: Can you eat macaroni and cheese if you use non-dairy butter and soy milk instead of regular milk?  (Note: she was talking about the Kraft Mac and Cheese with the powder stuff). 

It took my FIL and me no less than 10 minutes to explain to MIL that I still can't have it, even if we use non-dairy butter and soy milk.  She just didn't get it.  This really makes me a lot less confident about letting her babysit LO when he starts eating solids.

Wow. What a gem. My MIL will absolutely never watch my LO. Not only because I can't trust her as far as I can throw her but because she doesn't care enough about dd to drive 5 minutes to see her or even call. However, my mother is the same way. She doesn't always understand why something is but if I explain clearly enough or at least explain the affects, I know she wont go against what I say. Maybe you could just give MIL a strict list of what LO can or can't have while also explaining the consequences. If she understands what can happen, maybe she will be extra careful. My niece has severe food allergies, to the point that she could die from dairy because it can put her into shock. She's 4 and MIL (she's actually my husbands niece) still doesn't get it but it's mainly because she's do selfish that she doesn't care to know. 

Bumping from my phone. Sorry for any errors.  

casey820

Wow!!  I sure know what you mean though.  My LO most likely has milk protein allergy.  I have explained why I can't eat dairy to my FIL about 15 times.  I still don't think he gets it.  :-) 

efsNYC13

People really don't "get" food allergies. I have a ton and even the most knowledgeable, actually concerned people have issues wrapping their heads around it (you can't have wheat/flour, so can you have pasta? is a common question).

My policy is that I don't eat something if I don't know all the ingredients and that it was prepared in a way that avoids cross contamination. I harass everyone, even my parents, before I eat at their house. Before holiday meals my mom takes photos of food labels to send me to double check stuff. Now, most food labels say things like "contains: milk and soy", which makes some allergens easier. You just have to train people to look.  

If MIL realizes there is an issue, would she be willing to check with you before LO eats anything? Or only eats things that you provide? Every. Single. Time. (is she open to taking direction and having you micromanage the allergy issue or does she not realize that she doesn't fully get it yet?). If so, it would probably be OK. If not, well, then you just cant take the chance.

kelyr1

I can't even imagine what people with food allergies have to go through!  I think would be afraid to eat anything.