Does it every get easier? — The Bump
Special Needs

Does it every get easier?

My almost 5 year old DS has had an autism diagnosis for a while now, and has been delayed since he was like 8 months old, so this isn't new to us. I feel like so often I find myself just sitting her and crying- for me and for him. I love him and he is the sweetest soul and seems happy most of the time, but I see what my younger son is doing and what other people's kids are doing- even silly things like just loving buzz lightyear and wanting his PJ's or bringing a different 'friend' down from his room every day. He is non-verbal and I feel like we know so little about him sometimes... I started to think I was psychotic at Disney when I was crying during the 'wishes' fireworks because it made me so sad that I didn't even know if he had any hopes or dreams, and if he does and he can't tell me how the hell am I supposed to help him see them?

Seriously, does this ever stop? I have good days where I think I'm dealing and then we are back to this again...

Re: Does it every get easier?

  • I just want to give you a big hug because I understand how you're feeling. I have had many moments like these over the past few weeks and especially with the holidays. There are many days where we celebrate the little things (which feel like milestones) and days when its so hard you can't see to the next. Please know you are not alone and that you are the perfect mom made just for him. 
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  • We've only known something was wrong for about 10 months, and we got the autism dx 7 months ago. So I can't say I'm any expert on how things may turn out. Overall, I've gotten a lot better in that time. I went from crying every day, not sleeping, not eating, basically hardy functioning, to feeling like myself again. It's just kind of a new self, with more sadness in it, but also more joy. Occasionally it's like being punched in the gut (especially around NT kids my son's age, when I see them do something DS does not), and I will feel overwhelmed with grief, anger, and fear. I think that will probably continue to happen now my whole life. I'm trying to just focus on the amazing feeling I get from seeing my child smile and laugh and learn- even if he's behind other kids or does thing differently, it's still a joy to behold. I guess I figure there will always be up days and down days and I'm going to try to hold the up days close to me. ((hugs))
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  • My oldest has an ASD dx and for us, YES, it does get better. The ages of 2-6 were the hardest. Now puberty has hit and we're struggling because she doesn't understand what is going on and she's an emotional basket-case on top of everything else. But I'm confident that it'll get better for us too in a while.

    Just try to focus on the positive things about your child. I look at some of the issues that moms with kids my DD's age are going through (boy drama, school drama, snottiness, lying, talking back, taking forever in the bathroom) and I know I'll never have to deal with any of those. I know it's harder with autism, but I try to focus on the things that I like about her, rather than the difficult things.

    Hope this helps. :)

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