pregnant while he's gone. — The Bump
Military Families

pregnant while he's gone.

DH is in tech school until the end of April. We have a 16 month old and are positive we are ready to start TTC for number 2. We are not sure if we want to start trying now, while he is home for exodus, or wait until he gets home in April. (I got PG with DS on birth control so we are fairly certain I'll get PG the first few times around.) My question is, how hard is it with a toddler and being PG? I was high risk with DS but there weren't issues until the end of the pregnancy (my issues, not issues with DS). If I got PG now the baby would be due mid to late September so he would be home for 75% of the pregnancy. I am also a stay at home mom now if that makes a difference! Sorry this is so long, I am just talking it out! Any advice from military wives would be greatly appreciated! =) 

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Re: pregnant while he's gone.

  • I'm pregnant with our first so I really can't say how things will go in your position. We were TTC when he got orders and we got our BFP on that cycle. It has been very hard  being pregnant without him. He's missing out on a lot and physically, I feel like I really need him. I miss him tremendously. I'm every emotional and I believe my experiences are escalated due to the pregnancy and hormones. I've already told him that when we get ready to do this again we're going to have to make sure he's around because it's very hard to do this on my own. I can't imagine taking care of a LO while pregnant alone. I'm sure it's possible, but I wouldn't personally choose to be in that situation. That's something you're going to have to really consider on your own. I imagine how much support you have in your community will play a large role in how things work out for you. I'm exhausted just taking care of me and I can't imagine having someone else to care for right now without some additional hands.  This is something you guys will have to work out together of course, but I find it very hard to be pregnant while MH is away
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  • I would never voluntarily get pregnant if I knew my H was going to miss the pregnancy, ESPECIALLY with another child around.  My H found out he was deploying the same week we learned we were expecting our second, and it was no walk in the park.  I had multiple complications with my second pregnancy that I hadn't had with my first, and if I hadn't had some wonderful friends and my parents available to fly in on a moment's notice I have no idea whet I would have done.
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  • What's his AFSC?
    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • I did it twice. I got pg with my DS the night before DH deployed it was easy but had no other kids. I got pg with triplets when DS was 2 1/2 and DH deployed when I was 3 month pg. We were lucky they sent him home early from deployment. It was hard I was high risk whole pregnancy  but I dealt with it and my DS till I ended up on bedrest which thankfully was after DH was back. If you have people to help you it would be better. But you will also be moving to your duty station and moving when pg sucks plus you will have to find new dr and not have help at that point all things to think about. 
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  • I have a 16 month old too, and I can't imagine being pregnant right now.  She is definitely a handful. DH is deployed and we aren't around family or close friends so I would be lying if I said I do not get overwhelmed at times. 

    If you got pregnant now, do you have a support system who can help you?  In my first trimester I had awful morning sickness and was always tired.  I literally went to sleep for the night after I got home from work at 5pm many days.  With a toddler and a husband away, you don't have that option unless you have help from family or friends.

     

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  • After reading your responses, I should clarify a few things. DH is AF NG, we stay put, do not move around and he will NOT deploy. (Our state has only volunteer deployments in the AF). He is going to be at tech school until April, so if I got pregnant today, he would be around for the last 6 months of the pregnancy. We live in the same town as my inlaws (literally on the same street) and my parents live 10 minutes so we have tons of help! My only concern is having a toddler and being newly pregnant. DS is a really great kid but still a kid. I just don't want to be totally overwhelmed!
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  • imagemamainseptember:
    After reading your responses, I should clarify a few things. DH is AF NG, we stay put, do not move around and he will NOT deploy. (Our state has only volunteer deployments in the AF). He is going to be at tech school until April, so if I got pregnant today, he would be around for the last 6 months of the pregnancy. We live in the same town as my inlaws (literally on the same street) and my parents live 10 minutes so we have tons of help! My only concern is having a toddler and being newly pregnant. DS is a really great kid but still a kid. I just don't want to be totally overwhelmed!

    That's definitely awesome for you.  If you feel ready, I say go for it then.  If you are exhausted or need help, just call your family to help.  Good luck. :)

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  • My husband's in training right now, we have a 13 month old, and I'm pregnant with #2. It's been pretty hard. Especially one week when I had morning sickness really badly, and our daughter was sick and had 6-8 diarrhea diapers a day... that was miserable. But like the OP, I have lots of family around, so it's not too bad.

     It will be hard, but being pregnant is hard no matter what. If you guys feel ready, then go for it! :)

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  • imagepesci12:

    imagemamainseptember:
    After reading your responses, I should clarify a few things. DH is AF NG, we stay put, do not move around and he will NOT deploy. (Our state has only volunteer deployments in the AF). He is going to be at tech school until April, so if I got pregnant today, he would be around for the last 6 months of the pregnancy. We live in the same town as my inlaws (literally on the same street) and my parents live 10 minutes so we have tons of help! My only concern is having a toddler and being newly pregnant. DS is a really great kid but still a kid. I just don't want to be totally overwhelmed!

    That's definitely awesome for you.  If you feel ready, I say go for it then.  If you are exhausted or need help, just call your family to help.  Good luck. :)

    This. Sounds like you have the support system you need. Good luck!

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