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Those that moved across the country
Can you please explain to help my DH know how this all works.
He thinks he should wait to put his resume in because he thinks he will have to travel constantly for interviews. Am I wrong in thinking they usually do phone interviews, background checks and negotiating over the phone and then have him fly up for an interview in person? Or am I totally off?
We're talking about moving in the summer, but we are selling our house now. I have no clue if I am looking for a new house in New England or here.
I think if he got his resume out now it would help to know if he got any bites. If there is nothing moving up there, then obviously we'll wait a bit to move. He thinks we need to wait to get his resume out there until right before we are ready to move up north.
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Re: Those that moved across the country
DH searched for a job for 10 months before he found something. He wasn't restricting the search to any one city or area. We were really hoping for him to find something over the summer to avoid moving the kids in the middle of the school year, but it didn't happen. For the jobs he interviewed for, there was generally a while-- sometimes a month or two-- between applying and getting the first call. For the job he got, he originally applied in early March and got the first call for a phone interview in late April. He went for an in person interview in early May, then didn't hear until July that he didn't get the job. They called him out of the blue in October, asking him to come down to interview for another job. That was the week later, and they offered the job that day. He started right before Thanksgiving, and the kids and I will join him next week.
I have no idea how difficult or easy it will be for your DH to find a job, but in general I would not wait until just before you want to move and expect to be able to find something on your own timetable.
In this job market you DO NOT wait until right before you move. You could find yourself out of a job in your new place. Your DH needs to polish that baby up now.
DH did all of the searching online, sent out his resumes and had phone interviews. The place that hired him flew him to Cleveland for an in-person interview and we did not move until after he had started the job. He lived in an extended stay hotel for 2 weeks while I packed the house and kids.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
Definitely start ASAP.
We moved for MH's job, and we also got a sweet moving package. They paid our rent for 2 months in the new area, and would have paid for us all to stay in corporate housing which is pretty expensive. We decided to move with our stuff (which they reimbursed us for) so we wouldn't have to move twice (they would have covered storage costs for 2m as well). They also would have covered up to 2 years of our mortgage if we couldn't sell our house and covered our closing costs and realtor fees for selling our house and did the same when we bought (as long as it was within 2 years of moving here for the job).
For MH, he had a phone interview with this job after he applied for it, then they flew him down here for an in person interview and then they offered him the job, which he accepted. Then we moved. Our job search was not limited to any area, nor did we have any area in mind. We just looked at jobs that he would want/like/be qualified for. I came with him when he did the in person interview to check out the area, just to make sure we thought we'd like it.
Thanks for the tips!
If you come back to the post, were you nervous to move? To start over? I have lived in Florida for 34 years, 3rd generation Floridian, which is rare!
What helped you the most to adjust? I'm an extrovert usually, but since kids find I have a hard time meeting new people and keeping friends. I move on when I realize it's all about competition. I have the same old friends for 30 years that are going no where, though!
I could not wait to move. I hated Maryland, even though I was there for 9 years. I was coming 'home' after 15 years away, though. I left Cleveland in 1995 and returned (35 miles east) in 2010.
I've made friends through DS preschool. I also met a wonderful bunch of ladies through my knitting board. We meet every other week, but get together at other times and attend each other's parties and stuff. You can make all kinds of connections through Meetup.com.
I just throw the kids in the car and drive a lot. We take different roads to find what we can find. We have no problem talking to strangers. We've found our egg guy, our honey guy, our maple syrup guy, alpaca farms that welcome visits, pick your own fruit of all kinds, a new CSA for next year, playgrounds that we would never have found otherwise. The kids get to get out and see things they might not, like maple syrup production, beehives at relatively close range, that kind of thing.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
I was a little nervous to move. At the time we hadn't planned on moving out of Indiana, we had planned on moving south to my hometown (about 2 hours from where we lived at the time). Indiana, and particularly the Kentuckiana (Louisville) area has always felt like home to me. My grandparents are there, my best friends, aunts & uncles, my cousins, my parents, etc...
But this job opportunity came and it was basically MH's dream job, so we couldn't pass it up and we ended up in TN. I think it's been good for us, so I really have no complaints, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I miss Indiana and what it represents. At the same time, I doubt we'll ever leave TN unless MH gets an amazing job opportunity, but we have discussed moving to Nashville. There's a lot here that fits us (a lot that doesn't too - like I've somehow become the most liberal person I know from living here).
As far as adjusting - I have a hard time meeting new people and always have. Once I meet them though, and feel comfortable, I'm very social. We found a good neighborhood that's been invaluable. Our neighbors are mostly transplants too and have kids, so we basically have built in friends. We're also fairly involved in the church we go to - Jackson goes to preschool there and it's been an easy group to get involved in. After the first of the year, Scarlett is starting some little gym type classes and I'm joining a mom's group that does weekly playdates. TBH, that's not my thing but I've figured out that we're not going anywhere, anytime soon so it's time to get settled in.
It's been easy to avoid until now b/c Jackson has plenty of interaction and social activities but it'd be nice to have some friends w/ kids Scarlett's age, too. We also have really good friends that live about 2 hours from us and we see them pretty frequently b/c our husbands own a boat together.
We moved from KS to ND. DH flew up here for his interview and then we drove up here with our 18 mo old DD at the time for his pre-employment physical.
He had to interview in person for each position he applied for. It was only a couple and spread out over a couple years, so it wasn't that bad.
I moved from OR to KS for college.
Then back to OR after I graduated.
Back to KS for a guy 2 years later
and to ND 7 years later.
For me, moving each time led to a depressed period. I never saw anyone, but I was. To cut off from your entire social network sucks. Moving her 3 months before having a baby in the middle of winter in North Dakota was by far the hardest. I looked into Moms Club after her birth and was told there wasn't a chapter in my area... turns out there is - which I did join when Taylor was about 8 months. HUGE help to me to have a socal network of friends. That first winter we hung out with DH's aunt/uncle or his sister/BIL.
We also have a crapload of memberships: Farm Park, Zoo, Children's Museum, Natural History Museum
I also find free stuff to do. We have a great county park system with wonderful nature centers to visit. The local Rainbow Play system dealer has free open play in their showroom for an hour on M/W/F. Library programs.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
Have him put his resume out there now:) I have been following your posts about this move, we moved a year and a half ago and love it. I have found that having kids has made it easier to make friends. The kids have playdates, I meet moms at school, and the adjustment was very easy for us. You guys will love the new adventure, the new people, and the new everything. Good luck.
When we decided to move across the country DH found a job there right out of college. I was still working in our home state. I sent our resumes and set up 3 interviews for a long weekend (friday-monday.) Came home with 2 job offers. This was 7 years ago though.
My BIL was just interviewing for jobs about 10 hrs away from his home. They did several skype interviews then paid for him to drive to an in person interview.
I think your DH needs to get his resume out and see if he gets any bites.
My DH applied online for jobs out of state. He had 1-2 phone interviews before he was invited out for a job interview. The rest was done over the phone. I think he only flew out of town once for each job offer he had.