anyone look nothing like their family????

DandRAgain

I'm struggling with the comments that Audrey gets about not looking like anyone in our family.

This is the second year she's been at the same school as Tay and just this week she had a para say she didn't believe Audrey is Tay's sister, that they look nothing alike.  Sure at school right now, it is sort of "both" of them that are getting the "you look nothing like your sister" comments, but as soon as Mitch starts, its going to be Audrey the odd one out.  Tay and Mitch have the matching red hair and totally look like siblings.  Audrey, I see a TON of similarities, but because the coloring is what people see first, others miss the similarities.

Comments come from everywhere.  Stupid Target worker "are they all yours?" while staring at Audrey.  Even family "Wow, Audrey doesn't really look like anyone, does she?"  I'm ALREADY dreading the x-mas festivities with family we don't see but once or twice a year.

Soooo, any good responses to people who say this???

and if you grew up in these shoes, tell me it didn't make you feel bad and that you ended up needing years of therapy, PLEASE!!!!!!!!

Jodi&Joe

I was teased relentlessly about being adopted (they (my family) still say it but it's something that I think is funny now. 

They call me the milkman's kid.

All of that used to bother me growing up.  (when I was really young, I actually believed them and it made me cry. And then one day I cried in front of them and they were like "JODI!  You are NOT adopted!"  But I really did believe them!)

Anyway...

the thing that killed me, and this didn't happen until high school, was the looks comparison by others.  I can't tell you how many times I have heard "Oh, Michelle is your sister?!  She's beautiful!"  Or "Oh, Nicolle is your sister?!  She's hot!"  And this was usually followed up with "You look nothing like her/them!"  Um, yea, I feel pretty!

I'm so sorry she's experiencing this. I don't really have any advice either!    Just (((HUGS))) for her!

Susie2005

I was Audrey growing up, except the opposite.  Both my parents, my brother and my sister have brown hair and brown eyes.  My hair is bright red and I have blue eyes. I am the youngest.  My brother, the oldest, always teased me, told me I was switched at birth, I was adopted, I was the milk man's kid etc, etc.

Really, it wasn't a big deal.  People did comment about how different I looked from my siblings and teachers who had my brother and sister before me were always surprised that I was related but I don't think in the long run it did any permanent damage.  It hasn't come up as the route of my problems in therapy.

Just make sure you tell Audrey how beautiful and unique she is and what an important part of the family she is.  Looking different from her siblings does not make her any less a part of the family.  And teach her how to ignore the stupid comments if they bother her.  Help her come up with a clever reply that she can use to shut someone up when they make an annoying comment.

And, FWIW, my son has bright red hair like me with green eyse, my daughter is blonde with blue eyes and DH has brown hair and brown eyes.  We make a nice rainbow. 

 

Temp970088312507122

I'm a blonde with green eyes from a family of brown-eyed brunettes. The comments never bothered me. Everybody is different and people were never harsh about it...more just pointing out the obvious. 

DandelionMom

We get those comments with Gracie.  She gets her coloring from H who was blonde as a kid.  But then we get those comments from H's family -- I guess they've forgotten he was blonde well into his teen years? 

Anyway, I have no advice but thought it might be nice to hear that Audrey isn't alone. 

Littlejen22

I used to get that sometimes growing up although I did not look drastically different but I am adopted so it bothered me because I did not want other people to see it although I was comfortable with it...on my terms. 

Any recent pic of the kids?  I am interested in what they look like.

veloelle

You can never win. I was called "Little X" after my big sister. That gets old, not to be called your name but someone elses. Unless someone is being malicious, blow it off and move on. People look at my sister and ask if we are twins....she's almost 5 years older than me. I tell myself that she looks younger, that I don't look older. Long story short, tell Tay that people say things just to fill space, and they don't mean anything.

DandRAgain

Thanks!  I'm sure I'm overreacting a little because after the hair drama we had a few years ago (A wouldn't let me touch her hair for about 6 months....it was a serious battle and I blamed all the comments T. got about her gorgeous red hair) I think I'm just sensitive to it.