The big 20 week a/s...

sstrom22

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In the heat of the moment, I invited my MIL to our a/s.  This is her first grandchild, she lived too far away to really include her in much of the wedding planning, and she has three sons ? so I thought it was a nice way to include her and at the time I really didn?t think anything of it.

Well, she doesn?t go ANYWHERE without my FIL.  So he is coming to my a/s ? apparently I wasn?t specific enough when I invited her, hoping to invite my mom and just have it be a ?Grandma thing?.  I don?t know why, but it bugs me to have a guy there other than my DH.  Yes, I love him because he is my FIL, but he is awkward and I don?t really comfortable with him there.  The problem is, the two of them completely re-worked their schedules around this thing (it is a couple hours of driving for them) and are really excited.  And I do really want to include them as best I can?

My question is, how long does the a/s take?  I am hoping I can ask the doctor if we can have the a/s done when it is just DH and I so we can check for everything, find out the gender, and get our first glimpse of our LO- just the two of us.   Then have grandparents waiting outside the room and come in for the last 3 minutes for a quick peek. 

Does that make sense to you ladies?  Anyone else have a similar predicament?  My mom is on my case for ?setting boundaries? so I know I have to be more clear in the future (trust me, I?ve got boundaries set for the labor day?.) but when she brings it up it just makes me more anxious about it.  I know she just cares and wants me to be comfortable with everything, but it makes me feel like I failed on the communication front (which I did, but I don?t want that pointed out! Ha!)

Does the scan take a good 20-30 minutes so that we can legitiamately ask the doctor for the majority of the scan to just be the two of us ? then invite the "audience" in?  

Thanks ladies!

kdjudd

If I was you I would just politely ask your FIL to not come. Just let him know that you want this to be a special "girl" time. If you have a father then maybe have your FIL and him hang out during the exam. Then after the a/s have a special celebration dinner or something and reveal the gender to them in a fun way! That way you are still making the day worth his time! 

LadySpeed3

I have mine tomorrow and they said it is about 30 minutes long. Does he have to be in the room? Can he stay in the waiting room during the exam and have just the ladies and daddy like originally planned? Maybe you can call the office ahead of time and tell them your situation And maybe they can tell your FIL that only 3 people can be in the room with you? Just a thought?

mrslisawright

Mine took longer because they had a hard time getting some shots (of my right uterine artery of all things). LITERALLY, she worked on that for 15-20 mins...I would say on average 45 mins!

Yeah, have him wait in the waiting room. Those rooms (at least in my hospital) are nice, but they tend to be SMALL with only one chair for a guest.

GOOD LUCK!

palma44

I think you are right to talk to our doctor and plan to have the family only come in for the last part. This is about you and DH first, and it is a intimate moment when you find out the gender, you want to be comfortable. My a/s must be way different than other because my doctor told me to expect it to be 2 hours long, I am hoping they are way over estimating that time frame....

My mom wanted to come to an ultra sounds with us but I am keeping everything, especially the labor, just DH and I. You have to put your wants first right now.

 

Good luck!

laurenmae1228

Well, I don't know about everyone else, but my a/s also included a transvaginal ultrasound to measure the lenght of my cervix and make sure everything was properly closed, etc. (This is my first pregnancy, so I have no prior history or anything; I guess the tech/dr were just being thorough?) So anyway, you most DEFINITELY would NOT want your FIL in the room for that! That was the first part of my a/s, then she moved on to the on top of tummy ultrasound portion. The only thing is, I totally agree with previous posters who said that it really is an intimate moment with your DH when you get to see your baby looking so much bigger, getting measured, and if you're finding out the sex. It was so emotional for me, I cried, and DH held my hand; I knew it meant alot to him too. So I don't know. I would go with however you really feel, but if it were me, I'd call and say that you didn't know, but your doctor's office only allows x number of people in the room.