April 2012 Moms
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A gripe about those TV birthing shows

I fully support women who want med-free, intervention free births. I think you're a hell of a woman for wanting to go that route.

What I don't understand is when people are so hard-headed about their birth plans that when the baby is clearly in distress, they continue to argue with the doctors/nurses/family.


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Re: A gripe about those TV birthing shows

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    That bothers me too. I'm sure for many it is a big dissapointment to have plans change but if the baby or myself is in danger I want the doctors to do whatever is safest!
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    I have to fully agree with you! I would do anything that is needed to get my babies out safely as possible, I really don't care how much something will "hurt". My kids take first priority. I really don't have a birth plan. From working in L&D I can tell you a lot of the nurses kind of roll their eyes when they see a huge birth plan. A lot of the time you have no choice if something goes wrong and I don't think someone should fight if their babies in danger.

    My birth plan is I'm having a c-section and I want a picture of my placenta haha (because I work with them and would like to see a twin one since we don't do collections on twin placentas). Anything else they can do what they need to get my LO's out as safely as possible!! 

    Oct1201212 Twins born at 34w2d, Allison, 3lb,4oz-Ethan, 4lb7oz, both 16 1/2 inches. Out of Difficulties Grow Miracles BestBuddiesBoy AprilPosseMultiLilypie Premature Baby tickers
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    What kills me is superstitious or medically ignorant people trying to convince these women they DON'T want an epidural because of their own lack of understanding of the procedure. HELLO!!!! It's not your body, your baby, or your birth!!! SHUT THE EFF UP!
    DD#1 11.7.07 - DD#2 11.2.10 (3rd Tri Loss)- DD#3 4.18.12
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    That bothers me too, and it's not just the shows. People on the Bump are always b!tching b/c doctors want to induce or perform a c-section because of some kind of health concern. I want to go naturally and have a med-free labor, but if my doctor told me that posed a danger to myself or the baby, I would not be pissed at them. I'd discuss risks/benefits/what-ifs, but if everything points to it being better to take the baby before I go into labor naturally, then so be it. These women seem to have a really hard time making peace with it. And then there are people who are still upset years later that they had to have a c-section (planned or emergency).

    Another gripe about those shows is that I think the women on the epis are often over-medicated. It's kind of creepy to watch them push.

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    Like those crazy women on One Born Every Minute (the two grandmas). They were insane about that poor lady getting the epi.
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    imageDragonflyBelle:
    What kills me is superstitious or medically ignorant people trying to convince these women they DON'T want an epidural because of their own lack of understanding of the procedure. HELLO!!!! It's not your body, your baby, or your birth!!! SHUT THE EFF UP!

    lol, were you watching the Born Every Minute episode w/ the grandmother throw-down? That one grandmother seemed to think the epi was going to KILL the girl. I felt bad for the poor girl having to beg her mom (or MIL? I can't remember which) for the damn drugs.

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    imageTambcat:

    imageDragonflyBelle:
    What kills me is superstitious or medically ignorant people trying to convince these women they DON'T want an epidural because of their own lack of understanding of the procedure. HELLO!!!! It's not your body, your baby, or your birth!!! SHUT THE EFF UP!

    lol, were you watching the Born Every Minute episode w/ the grandmother throw-down? That one grandmother seemed to think the epi was going to KILL the girl. I felt bad for the poor girl having to beg her mom (or MIL? I can't remember which) for the damn drugs.

    Speaking of One Born Every Minute, but that episode made me sad (the one with the fighting grandmothers). I felt so bad for that girl. She was literally by herself after the delivery.

    Also, the way these people bring out their cell phones and cameras and take pictures of the baby coming out. Do they really need to take a pictures of a vagina? What are you going to do, mobile upload it to FB? Send it to people?

     

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    YES!!! That one was the worst, but I saw a "baby daddy" doing that to his partner as well. He kept telling her she didn't need the epidural cause it was gonna hurt the baby.
    DD#1 11.7.07 - DD#2 11.2.10 (3rd Tri Loss)- DD#3 4.18.12
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    imageMDmama519:
    Like those crazy women on One Born Every Minute (the two grandmas). They were insane about that poor lady getting the epi.

    Were they the same Grandma's that brawled in the hallway? What a mess! I felt so badly for the mom of the baby! 

    Oct1201212 Twins born at 34w2d, Allison, 3lb,4oz-Ethan, 4lb7oz, both 16 1/2 inches. Out of Difficulties Grow Miracles BestBuddiesBoy AprilPosseMultiLilypie Premature Baby tickers
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    Yes! It drives me crazy, I'm fine with people having birthplans and wanting to go natural but if we are telling you the baby is at risk then why is YOUR plan taking a priority over the baby's safety? And I hate when these women take the advice of a doula over a medical professional. This can be extremely dangerous and even jeopardize the baby's life.
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    I agree with you!!  At the end of the day (to me), it's all about the health of my baby so if that means drugs, so be it. 

     

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    Honestly? Because there ARE doctors/nurses/ect out there that will make things seem more urgent than they are just to do a c-sec and get the kid out so they could go home, or to make you get an epi to shut you up, so if having a "natural" med/intervention free birth is what you want sometimes you have to fight for it! 

    And this is coming from someone who's been told my baby would be "too big" to ever deliver naturally (from a doc I had with DD1, yet I not only delivered naturally but I only pushed for 15 mins and she was out with no issues), that there's no way I'd be able to go without an epi and that it was pointless to even try (from nurses with DD1 and DD3 and while DD1's labor had complications that required the epi, DD3 I went pain med free), that I NEEDED to be induced because I had pre-e (and this was after them missing symptoms of it for at least 6wks) and that my child's life was in danger (this was with DD3) yet she was born 2 days later, ON HER OWN (no induction), completely healthy!  

    While I agree that sometimes you do need to learn how/when to give up the and change plans, I also believe a woman needs to know how to be her own advocate and fight for what she wants. 

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    Ftr, if some nurse told me that there was no way I'd be able to have a vaginal birth w/o an epidural before there were any signs of complications, I'd just roll my eyes. That is not legit medical advice, imo.

    Pre-e is something I won't screw around with, though.

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    Might not be valid to you but when you have nurses pushing it on you and I mean PUSHING it "not having an epi is stressing your baby out" or "you're going to end up too tired to push and it's going to end up with a c-sec anyway", and the like, a lot of women would just break down and go with it and get the epi rather than questioning it.  

    As far as the pre-e goes, I told them I wouldn't allow the induction BUT I allowed them to admit me to the hospital on bedrest and to be monitored, if things got worse and she seemed to be in any distress I'd go forward with the induction.  The docs still tried to talk me out of it but that's what we did and things actually got BETTER in the 2 days I was there.   I went in Thur for a routine appt  (after going into L&D the night before to have the swelling checked) and when they checked me I was 0cm and "high and tight", had there been some progress I would've let the induction go.  While I was there they kept an eye on my BP and got to do the 24hr urine check and the results from that came back Fri night and they said it wasn't good that they'd move forward with the induction Sunday morning.  I ended up going into labor on my own and giving birth Sat afternoon and, as I said, she was fine AND I got to have my natural labor (though i did have medical interventions-mag sulfate, internal monitors, ect).  

     Also, a lot of this stuff gave me a bad taste from DD1's labor.  I allowed induction, just because I was late and the doc suggested it (I was 17 and didn't know better) and after 11hrs of doing fine docs ended up telling me I needed an epi but refused to tell me why, and held me down and made me get an epi then sent my mother in after to tell me DD1 wasn't tolerating the pitocin induced contractions well so I needed the epi to "slow things down".  Had they just explained that to me and told me the risks I would've allowed the epi with no problems.   

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    Couldn't have said it better myself!
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    imagedevious1031:

    Might not be valid to you but when you have nurses pushing it on you and I mean PUSHING it "not having an epi is stressing your baby out" or "you're going to end up too tired to push and it's going to end up with a c-sec anyway", and the like, a lot of women would just break down and go with it and get the epi rather than questioning it.  

    Oh yeah, under these circumstances, I might get it. If there were signs of fetal distress, I'd probably do whatever they advised. I guess with the "you'll be too tired to push" thing, it would depend on how tired I was actually feeling, how long I'd been in labor, how I was dilating, etc. I would rather have an epi+vaginal birth than an epi or spinal+section for sure.

    Not that it matters, but I think you handled the pre-e thing fine. You took a risk, but it seems like it was a calculated one and you were willing to change your plans if/when things hit a certain point. I mean, nothing is w/o risk. If you'd just gone back home and said "whatever, I'll wait it out," then I would think you were crazy. An acquaintance lost her full-term baby due to pre-e while she was already in the hospital and in labor, so it really scares me.

    I think your first doctor could be legally charged with something if he really held you down and forced an epi on you w/o consent when there was time to obtain and you were of sound mind to give consent. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like there's much you could have done to prevent that from happening, regardless of how hard hard you advocated.

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    imagedevious1031:

    Might not be valid to you but when you have nurses pushing it on you and I mean PUSHING it "not having an epi is stressing your baby out" or "you're going to end up too tired to push and it's going to end up with a c-sec anyway", and the like, a lot of women would just break down and go with it and get the epi rather than questioning it.  

     This. I swear my nurse was working on commission. She told me straight off I'd never make it, then gave tons of backhanded complements, "You've made it really far for a FTM. But this could go on for another 10 hours." I was in pain, and hearing the ten hours thing just broke my resolve. I didn't think to ask them to check me, and 30 minutes long after the epi I was at 8cm. Totally could have made it. 

    It causes lots of distrust in the medical system when people act like this.

    Mom to little frog 8/07, Lucky Duck 5/10, & Little Lion 4/12
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    imageroxane:
    imagedevious1031:

    Might not be valid to you but when you have nurses pushing it on you and I mean PUSHING it "not having an epi is stressing your baby out" or "you're going to end up too tired to push and it's going to end up with a c-sec anyway", and the like, a lot of women would just break down and go with it and get the epi rather than questioning it.  

     This. I swear my nurse was working on commission. She told me straight off I'd never make it, then gave tons of backhanded complements, "You've made it really far for a FTM. But this could go on for another 10 hours." I was in pain, and hearing the ten hours thing just broke my resolve. I didn't think to ask them to check me, and 30 minutes long after the epi I was at 8cm. Totally could have made it. 

    It causes lots of distrust in the medical system when people act like this.

    I hope you complained about her the first chance you got.

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