Attachment Parenting

please remind me FTM/cosleeper lurker

Ok I am a lurker who is very interested in this board. No one understands my method of parenting,  hell, I don't either I am new to this. I am a FTM (typing with one hand at 1am) My DD will be 6 months old in 2 wks. She is EBF although we introduced solids around 4mos per her Ped because of low %tile. 

From the time we left the hospital I have wondered if DD was colicky. After reading some posts I stopped eating dairy, which helped. I feel like we barely made it through the first 6 weeks but things got a little better. DD is a nurser and a momma's girl. I sah with her and have had maybe 3 breaks away from her ever. (2-3hr spans) I always put her in her pnp, in our room (I get better sleep with her in her own bed), which usually takes 3-5x to get her to finally sleep. Some nights its way worse. If she does sleep in her pnp for longer than two hours I am lucky. For the rest of the night she is in bed with me, nurses lying down (or I get no sleep). Some nights she sleeps well in bed and some nights she wants the boob at her face all night. It has gotten easier bedsharing, I admit I was completely against it at first, then reality hit that I need sleep. I have tried little spouts of CIO method, but am not sure its for me. I usually am holding her in tears in less than 10 minutes. I am so confused about what is right, and what is wrong.

I welcome any and all advice/experience because honestly I don't know what works best for us, nothing has seemed to except holding her most of the day. Also nursing always Always calms her. Am I making things harder for myself in the long run?  Is there something else I can try? I feel like I am getting exhausted. Then I hear from friends and family that I need to formula feed because it makes them sleep longer, and to put cereal in her bottle. I don't know if they're right because it doesn't feel right to me. Then at church the other day someone commented when I said she doesn't nap well unless I hold her. Their eyes were huge and they rolled their eyes. Well she used to nap but the last month or so she doesn't. I swear she is just sleep deprived. She does play well and is learning at a normal pace, if not some what advanced. She has been in lower %tile (10th) since birth in weight but my milk is also like skim. Thank you for listening. 

I am caving in tonight, she will be going to bed with me because I have to be up early and have unsuccessfully put her in her pnp 8 times.  She had one tooth come in about a week ago, so I'm hoping that the second will be through soon. TIA!

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Re: please remind me FTM/cosleeper lurker

  • I'm a working mom so no advice about the holding all day as I don't have that option after 6 weeks, but is your doc really worried about the weight thing?  Someone has to be at each percentile or they wouldn't exist so unless she is loosing percentiles ie not gaining, I wouldn't worry about it some babies are string beans and frankly everyone being proud of their formula fed babies >99%ile means they are overweight and there is evidence that increasing by 2 percentiles in infancy is  arisk for obesity later.  My DD1 was consistently 8-15%ile on the formula charts but gained at a normal pace, remember there are also different growth curves put out by WHO for breastfeeding babies.  Also, remember that unless they are actually eating a lot of solids, they are not a calorically dense as BM so nurse before a feed if she is not shoveling food in.
    5/08- blighted ovum, spont ab; 2/20/09- epi, VAVD, Girl! breastfed 24mo; 10/10- blighted ovum, spon ab; 12/10- no fetal pole, Cytotec; 11/20/11- unmedicated SVD, Girl! breastfed 18mo; 11/7/13- unmedicated SVD, breastfed 18mo; 2/11/16- unmedicated SVD, exclusively pumping to at least a year.

  • If it doesn't feel right to you, don't do it. (Whatever "it" migh be!) Other people can roll their eyes if they want. They may have raised a dozen kids, but every kid is different and theirs might not have been like yours - I know my 2nd was very different from my first: less clingy, less needy, a better sleeper, etc. And I honestly don't think it's from doing things differently, he's just different from his sister.

    And of course always nursing always calms her! Mom's got her, she's got warm food going in her tummy, nice soothing sucking motion, mom's heart beat right there. It's perfection. Why wouldn't she be calmed by it? There's nothing wrong with that.

    The former jen5/03.

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  • Thank you for your replies! I know it feels right to nurse, I just literally have no one supporting me on any of my parenting decisions. As a first time mom it can be very overwhelming. I am sure with other children it will get better later on. But now with my first its so easy to feel like I am not doing anything right for my child. Thanks again!


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  • I nurse my baby on cue around the clock. We bed share and I know exactly what you mean by some nights she needs the boob in her face, ha ha! I hold her for all of her naps. I will be returning to work PT soon; my sister will watch her one day and MH will be home the other two. Both are totally on board with snuggling her for nap time.

    So, obviously I don't think you're doing anything wrong. I don't think we're teaching bad habits, I think we're letting our babies set the pace for their own development, and are lucky enough to be able to do so.

    Nothing wrong with nursing your baby when she wants it. It is the best way to comfort! Some other things that work for my LO when nursing doesn't are singing, being walked around, being rocked, or being in a baby carrier.

    Here's some info on infant sleep, if you're interested:

    And here's info on safe bed sharing, which you might already know :):

    My LO is in the top percentile. Like PP said, it takes all kinds! All adults aren't the average height and weight- that's just not how percentiles work. FTR, my milk also looks skim. Sometimes it just looks like water! Totally normal for breastmilk.

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