Interfaith parenting?

ChristyML

If you and your DH are of different religions and are trying to teach both religions and letting your child choose when they are old enough to understand, how are you teaching them both without confusing them? Or have you and your DH made a compromise? MH is LDS (Mormon) and I am Catholic and we are TTC right now, but I'd rather have a plan all set for when we find out we are pregnant because as a Catholic, I want my children baptized as babies. MH and I have talked about what we each want, but we cannot come to a compromise or any solution.

Any help or advice would be awesome!

TIA 

DandelionMom

I highly recommend a session with a counselor to help you discuss this.  The right counselor will be able to help you two think of and discuss all the ins and outs of this sensitive subject. 

Honestly, I wouldn't even TTC until you have your compromises all worked.  Discussing a hypothetical child is a lot less stressful than discussing one that is on the way.  

jettagurl

DandelionMom:

Honestly, I wouldn't even TTC until you have your compromises all worked.  Discussing a hypothetical child is a lot less stressful than discussing one that is on the way.  

This.  How do you do things now? Do you do you do your own thing, or do you join each other for all things?  

AnnapolisLari

How active are each of you in your churches?

DH has been to Catholic Mass precisely once in the last 8 years. I am Orthodox and go much more often.

Our kids were baptized Orthodox. DH gave a few feeble protests, but he knows how often he goes to church and supported their baptism in my church.

ilovemygirls

DandelionMom:

I highly recommend a session with a counselor to help you discuss this.  The right counselor will be able to help you two think of and discuss all the ins and outs of this sensitive subject. 

Honestly, I wouldn't even TTC until you have your compromises all worked.  Discussing a hypothetical child is a lot less stressful than discussing one that is on the way.  

I totally agree with this.  This can become a major issue.  I know someone who was of one faith & married someone who was Jehovah Witness.  They had agreed not to have children for several reasons  (had both been married before, he had older kids, etc) but also because their faiths were so different, but then there was a *totally* surprise pregnancy.  I mean, like, the vasectomy he'd had years earlier failed and everything went to sh!t- it completely tore their marriage apart.  The kiddo is now 3, they are not together & the non-JW partner is looking at a nasty custody fight because the JW partner is insisting on raising the kid JW (which has major implications in terms of potential medical treatment re: no blood products, etc)

The biggest difference here of course is that you guys are actually planning on a child, but this is just to illustrate how bad something can get when such things are not agreed upon.  You need to both figure out your compromises now and make sure that a child is not caught in the middle down the road.

Rushmore

DandelionMom:

I highly recommend a session with a counselor to help you discuss this.  The right counselor will be able to help you two think of and discuss all the ins and outs of this sensitive subject. 

Honestly, I wouldn't even TTC until you have your compromises all worked.  Discussing a hypothetical child is a lot less stressful than discussing one that is on the way.  

This is great advice