Why am I having such a hard time lately

Mel_B09

ITs been 5months tomorrow since my D&C and over the last week I have been having such a hard time and things are starting to get to me..unsure if it is coming closer to the eed. I feel like everyone is annoncing they are pg, and it is starting to really fustrate me.. this morning i finally had my melt down.. my SIL who doesn't know what happened sent me a bbm saying we had a baby shower to go to Jan 7th.. i told her i had to work that day (which i am not) once i got to work i e-mailed my other sil saying i couldn't go and if she could support me on it.. i started to cry at my desk... thank god no one saw me.. for the rest of the day i had this heavy feeling... this year has been rough and I am counting the days until its over.. My dh doesn't understand and wonders how long i will hold on to this.. i don't have an answer for him... sorry for the rant

maxsom

I'm not as far past my m/c as you are, but I fully expect to have rough patches.  Especially if you're TTC and it hasn't happened, yet.  It's just a part of the process, I think, and it's okay to feel sad and frustrated and not ready to be around a bunch of people gushing over someone who's having a baby when all you want is your own baby in your arms right now. 

As for DH, all you can do is tell him you're sorry it's taking so long, but you just need to feel sad sometimes and he just needs to be there for you and help you through it and be patient.

*hugs*  Hopefully you get to feeling a little better soon.

RedRose84

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It has been over a month for me and I had a really hard time last week/weekend.  Some days I do so well, others I'm a mess.  I don't really know what triggers the sadness, it could be as small as seeing a little baby in a stroller.  I get more upset when I hear about pregnancies.  I think there are going to be ups and downs forever, it will never fully go away.  Take as much time as you need to grieve.  We all lost something very special to us.  Hope you feel better.  **Big Hugs**

angielayne926

I think that with the holidays coming up, I'm having a harder time with my losses.  My DH also doesn't really understand what I'm going through, but I try to explain it as best as I can. Just know that you have all of us here who DO know what you're going through. I just know it will pass in time.  (((HUGS)))

LaTi07

(Hugs) I'm so sorry. These rough patches are just part of grief and everyone grieves differently. I think it's also so different for us than our DH's. We are the ones who carried the baby and had our bodies changing so we're dealing with not only the emotional side, but the physical as well. When DH asks me how long I will hold onto it, I tell him the rest of my life. No matter how many children I go on to have, I will always have one in heaven. There will be good days and there will be bad days. The best thing you can do is let it out. If you need to cry, then let it out. There is NOTHING wrong with still being upset about it.

[Deleted User]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. I agree with what PP said, rough patches are just part of what we have to endure in this TTCAL journey. I'm like you, some days are just harder than others.

I say good for you for turning down the baby shower invite. You have to put YOU first, especially right now when you are trying to emotionally heal from your loss. Do whatever you have to do to feel better. 

And, even though your DH may not really understand "why it's taking so long", we ladies all do! So feel free to vent and rant whenever you want. Sending ((hugs)) and T&P your way tonight that you feel better soon.

bluebonnetmeg

((hugs)) Things started to get better for me after my EDD, but are getting a little rougher with the holidays. I can imagine that both together would be especially hard. I hope that you get your BFP soon.

CnAnA

((hugs)) I'm so sorry.  I say good for you for skipping the baby shower.  There's no need to put yourself in a situation like that if you're still hurting.  And everyone grieves differently.  I hope your DH comes around and quits being silly with the "what's taking so long" opinion!  T&P headed your direction!

VineyardMel

I'm another Mel and my bday is your EDD. Realizing that just made me feel so much for you. I'm so sorry for your loss and wish we could do anything to help take away the pain. (((Big hugs)))

RequiresExalted

*big hugs*  The holidays can seem brighter when things are going great, but they also seem to punctuate sadness when things are far from what you hoped they'd be.

As for YH, you may want to gently remind him that you are still grieving and it's perfectly normal.  You're allowed to feel however you feel, for however long you feel that way... there is no time frame.  Sometimes guys just don't entirely understand, even if they mean well. 

PittPurple

(((hugs))), I could have written most of this post too. I swear it's getting harder for me instead of easier - I think I just have a bit of an internal clock counting down to my EDD and thinking of where I should be by now. I'm holding on till the end of the year too and am very glad to get into a new year soon.

My DH is ready for us both to move on from this too, he's being lovely and supportive and all that but I think it's just different to go through this from that perspective. When everything happens to your body, it's such a different experience. And I was not expecting to still feel this awful a couple month's along so I understand that it's surprising to him (and your DH) as well. 

Hoping that things start to get better for you soon. 

ktsnshn

((hugs)) I was doing pretty well and now that my first EDD is sneaking up on me. I am starting to struggle more too. Just remember that grieving is a process and it is ok to have good days and bad. It will get better. Here is hoping that 2012 is a better year for all of us.