Parenting
Mini-tantrums at 9 mo - help!
My DD is typically a good listener - when we say "no," she listens the first or second time. But lately, she has begun to throw mini-tantrums when being put into her carseat or while I'm putting on her coat. She stiffens out her entire body, holds her breath, puffs out her tummy, and grunts. I have heard the best reaction to tantrums is to walk away, but how do I walk away when she is hanging half out of her carseat and I need to get to work? I try to stay positive and act excited, like "we're gonna go to school (daycare)!" rather than scolding her. I have also been tickling her belly so she can't stiffen, which allows me to strap her in her seat, but I don't want her to start thinking it's a game. Have any of you experienced "tantrums" this young? What reactions have worked the best?
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Re: Mini-tantrums at 9 mo - help!
9 months?
She's a baby. She's not having a tantrum.
You take my ovaries, I take your yarns.
Please don't scold or timeout your 9 mo old. She is just a baby. Do what you are doing and stay calm and positive. Maybe she is upset because she knows she is going to miss you. Are her straps too tight? Maybe she just hates being in the car, mine sure did. They cried the whole time and didn't want to be strapped at that age. I never thought of it as a tantrum, more of them being upset and hating the car. The best thing to do is to stay calm and reassure her, esp at this age.
It's not a tantrum. She's trying to tell you something.
Do you need to move the straps up a notch? They could be too tight.
She also shouldn't be wearing a coat in her seat--- she might hate that she gets too hot.
9 months is a classic age for separation anxiety. She knows that you're going to be gone and babies can't tell time.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
Make the carseat a game, Dh is better at it than I am but he would always tell DD when getting her in the carseat "ok time to get in the rocketship to walmart, lets buckle you in for blast of....10...9....8" and then the whole drive he would go on! LOL It was adorable and did the trick!
She's only 9 months old shes a baby. Singing a song or making up a pretend scenario can calm her down, just make it fun!
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DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
This isn't her 'testing' you. It is her figuring out how to communicate with you. Don't try to overthink what she's doing. She's becoming familiar with routine. Also remember she's learning a LOT of new things developmentally, so even some of the most routine things may be overwhelming for her. Just because she hasn't disliked the seat before, doesn't mean than she doesn't now. Maybe work on slower transitions.....pick up before jammies, put the seat near her play area for a few minutes before she gets in, let her pick a toy to have in the seat, etc.
This. This is not testing; this is a baby gaining the tiniest sense of who she is and learning to express it, even if its not in a way you like. Kids change all. the. time. She doesn't like the carseat right now--I assure you its got nothing to do w/ trying to manipulate or test you, or trying to see what she can get away with--if you perceive it that way, everything is going to be a battle going forward.
Really, you referred to it as tantrum and mini tantrum in your post. And you said you walk away, which is like a timeout, for a 9 mo old. And you are asking how to handle her testing you. Which makes it seem like you are going overboard.
I read this completely different than everyone else.
My DD is typically a good listener - when we say "no," she listens the first or second time. But lately, she has begun to throw mini-tantrums when being put into her carseat or while I'm putting on her coat. She stiffens out her entire body, holds her breath, puffs out her tummy, and grunts. I have heard the best reaction to tantrums is to walk away, but how do I walk away when she is hanging half out of her carseat and I need to get to work? I try to stay positive and act excited, like "we're gonna go to school (daycare)!" rather than scolding her. I have also been tickling her belly so she can't stiffen, which allows me to strap her in her seat, but I don't want her to start thinking it's a game. Have any of you experienced "tantrums" this young? What reactions have worked the best?
And my computer won't let me bold where she wrote she heard the best thing to do is walk away. Not that she has done it. I think she's just asking for the best way to handle these little situations so they don't become bigger problems later.
As far as the pj's tonight, she's still young, but maybe you could start warning her with changes. "2 minutes and we are going to put your pj's on." The more she hears it now, the easier she'll get it when she's ready. My DS has huge problems with transitions and this helps. Although I don't think this is a transition issue.
And yes, in a way she is testing you. She's seeing how far you will allow her to go when she clearly doesn't want to do something, or has something else in mind. It's not a bad thing. Annoying, but she's learning the world around her. She doesn't understand you need to get to work. She just knows she doesn't want to get in that carseat at that moment. You could bring a bag with special "car toys only" that she gets after she's buckled in. That helped with my DS.
Consider her comfort. Maybe set up a routine before getting in the carseat: a song, a game of "I spy," a tickle session, some cuddle time. It may take an extra few minutes, but those planned extra few minutes could save you quite a few unplanned awful minutes.
Ditto pp's suggestions to see if she's too hot in her carseat.
I always have to consider whether my kids are getting enough sleep whenever there's a meltdown of any kind. More rest and water is a great cure-all.