We will spank when necessary and we're pretty much decided that our parents are also allowed to spank because obviously they raised us and we trust their judgement.
God help anyone else that touches our children, though. Not acceptable.
A little off topic but did you know that spanking is still allowed in many schools? Apparently it is allowed in my child's school and when I asked if there was a waiver that I could sign to prevent my child from being spanked I was told 'no, Tennessee is a corporal punishment state.' I'm not happy about this.
A little off topic but did you know that spanking is still allowed in many schools? Apparently it is allowed in my child's school and when I asked if there was a waiver that I could sign to prevent my child from being spanked I was told 'no, Tennessee is a corporal punishment state.' I'm not happy about this.
Jesus, this would make me furious. Time to start calling your legislators...
A little off topic but did you know that spanking is still allowed in many schools? Apparently it is allowed in my child's school and when I asked if there was a waiver that I could sign to prevent my child from being spanked I was told 'no, Tennessee is a corporal punishment state.' I'm not happy about this.
My SIL's school spanks and they are middle schoolers. I think that is discusting.
I think it's innaproprate to spank out of anger. I feel like that tip toes on abuse. However, my sister spanks. She takes them to the bathroom and gives them a swift swat on the bottom. She says she's only spanked her 6 year old maybe 3 times, but it's enough for when she says, "Do we need to go to the bathroom?" They stop what they're doing. I don't see anything wrong with what she does and how she does it.
We will spank when necessary and we're pretty much decided that our parents are also allowed to spank because obviously they raised us and we trust their judgement.
God help anyone else that touches our children, though. Not acceptable.
Absolutely all of this. I work for a child abuse agency and spanking is not abuse unless you leave marks just be mindful and never hit out of anger!
A little off topic but did you know that spanking is still allowed in many schools? Apparently it is allowed in my child's school and when I asked if there was a waiver that I could sign to prevent my child from being spanked I was told 'no, Tennessee is a corporal punishment state.' I'm not happy about this.
My mom and brothers live in TN. My mom said she had to sign a permission slip or the school couldn't spank.
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A little off topic but did you know that spanking is still allowed in many schools? Apparently it is allowed in my child's school and when I asked if there was a waiver that I could sign to prevent my child from being spanked I was told 'no, Tennessee is a corporal punishment state.' I'm not happy about this.
Jesus, this would make me furious. Time to start calling your legislators...
If that were the case at my kid's school I'd be yanking them out of there and finding a different school. That is my responsibility as a parent not theirs.
Geez I don't know. I was threatened with a swat of "the wooden spoon" many times but I think it only happened once. It certainly was never a beating or anything, just a swift bop on the butt. My sisters and I still laugh about the dreaded wooden spoon. It struck fear in our hearts at the time and was very effective (without hitting us).
My inlaws use what they call a "tapport" I have no idea what that word actually is but it means a quick swat. Their first language is Swahili so their threats usually involve strange words lol. They do this with their other grandchildren and I don't think I would be able to stop them from doing it to mine (if I am not there). It usually never progresses further than "that boy needs a tapport" and they stop.
I don't think either of those things are abusive or really wrong, but I also don't think they are the best way to handle discipline. In my experience it comes out when the adult is worn down and at their wits end. I hope I learn a non physical technique that works. I want a supernanny type to come train me!
Me: 38 DH:36
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I am not a spanker, but I can't say absolutely never. Life is not always so black and white.
This. I do not want to do it, but I would never rule it out completely because I can't say what kinds of situations might arise in the future. It would definitely be a last resort thing.
That said, I don't judge people who do and I don't consider it to be abusive in any way. (I got spanked and I certainly wasn't abused.)
I live in TN and work in the school system. It is legal for teachers to spank IF the parents allow it. Not our school, but some schools in the area send out forms that give parents the choice to mark yes or no. Where I did my student teaching, every parent in the classroom marked Yes.
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We will spank when necessary and we're pretty much decided that our parents are also allowed to spank because obviously they raised us and we trust their judgement.
God help anyone else that touches our children, though. Not acceptable.
Absolutely all of this. I work for a child abuse agency and spanking is not abuse unless you leave marks just be mindful and never hit out of anger!
By your definition my parents " abused" me as did their parents to them. You should specify bruising not " marks". I was spanked with a fly swatter when I did something really hideous...and my mom used to have to go outside to a tree in the back yard and pick her own switch. Needless to say both left red welt marks as can a hand . This was not abuse and led to good not acting like a spoiled brat heathen.
I voted but I still feel like a special snowflake.
My daughter is 14 months. She is old enough to understand "no" and smart enough to test the limits anyway. I am against physical punishment of children however I respect the fact that my husband has a different opinion. One day my DD was in a "dangerous" situation about to grab something that was hot after being told no and removed from it. DH slapped her hand and told her "NO! Hot!". She became hysterical and I comforted her. After that, DH's opinion changed and he will now redirect or "reason" with her (the explanation of reasoning with a 14mo is too long for this post).
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Spanking or paddling is completely normal in a lot of school systems in the South. I'm totally cool with it. I was spanked (with a belt!) growing up. Never abused and never out of anger but it totally got the point across.
I may or may not remember acting badly in church then running home to try to put three pairs of pants on because I knew I had one coming.
Having said that, we were always given the option of a spanking or a non physical punishment (like grounding). We always always always chose the spanking, just to get over it. Who wants to be without tv for a week??
Not sure how things will work out with my kiddo yet. We'll have to see what he responds to and go from there. But spanking is definitely an option. And whatever means of punishment we choose, we will extend to our parents to use for him as well. We trust their judgement and want to make sure he's raised with the appropriate amount of discipline.
I was beaten badly as a kid, so it can be hard for me to approve of spanking...however, I think when it is not done out of anger and only in extreme situations (one of the boys I babysit was spanked for playing with an electrical socket. He never did it again!), it can work. There is a huge difference between a moderate spanking used as a true discipline tool and a severe spanking used out of frustration. Of course, I have no idea what to expect just yet - I may birth a complete little angel who does no wrong and may never have to even touch this topic. I'm not ruling it out and I'm not saying I'll do it.
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We will spank when necessary and we're pretty much decided that our parents are also allowed to spank because obviously they raised us and we trust their judgement.
God help anyone else that touches our children, though. Not acceptable.
This, I feel you should have a punishment plan in place like time out, but I know for instance I ran towards the road one time and I got swatted on the behind for that.
I think it will be interesting to know how many on here who already have kids and spank/don't spank have boys vs girls. I saw on the other post below some of the people who don't spank and use other methods have girls (lol). I only have boys and so far and with my 9 yr old talking things out was pointless when he was 4-5.
Middlesnpoddles
member
Re: POLL: since spanking is a hot topic..
Special Snowflake.
We will spank when necessary and we're pretty much decided that our parents are also allowed to spank because obviously they raised us and we trust their judgement.
God help anyone else that touches our children, though. Not acceptable.
Jesus, this would make me furious. Time to start calling your legislators...
My SIL's school spanks and they are middle schoolers.
I think that is discusting.
I think it's innaproprate to spank out of anger. I feel like that tip toes on abuse. However, my sister spanks. She takes them to the bathroom and gives them a swift swat on the bottom. She says she's only spanked her 6 year old maybe 3 times, but it's enough for when she says, "Do we need to go to the bathroom?" They stop what they're doing. I don't see anything wrong with what she does and how she does it.
2012
Another Special Snowflake.
I am not a spanker, but I can't say absolutely never. Life is not always so black and white.
Absolutely all of this. I work for a child abuse agency and spanking is not abuse unless you leave marks just be mindful and never hit out of anger!
My mom and brothers live in TN. My mom said she had to sign a permission slip or the school couldn't spank.
Geez I don't know. I was threatened with a swat of "the wooden spoon" many times but I think it only happened once. It certainly was never a beating or anything, just a swift bop on the butt. My sisters and I still laugh about the dreaded wooden spoon. It struck fear in our hearts at the time and was very effective (without hitting us).
My inlaws use what they call a "tapport" I have no idea what that word actually is but it means a quick swat. Their first language is Swahili so their threats usually involve strange words lol. They do this with their other grandchildren and I don't think I would be able to stop them from doing it to mine (if I am not there). It usually never progresses further than "that boy needs a tapport" and they stop.
I don't think either of those things are abusive or really wrong, but I also don't think they are the best way to handle discipline. In my experience it comes out when the adult is worn down and at their wits end. I hope I learn a non physical technique that works. I want a supernanny type to come train me!
Me: 38 DH:36
That said, I don't judge people who do and I don't consider it to be abusive in any way. (I got spanked and I certainly wasn't abused.)
By your definition my parents " abused" me as did their parents to them. You should specify bruising not " marks". I was spanked with a fly swatter when I did something really hideous...and my mom used to have to go outside to a tree in the back yard and pick her own switch. Needless to say both left red welt marks as can a hand . This was not abuse and led to good not acting like a spoiled brat heathen.
I voted but I still feel like a special snowflake.
My daughter is 14 months. She is old enough to understand "no" and smart enough to test the limits anyway. I am against physical punishment of children however I respect the fact that my husband has a different opinion. One day my DD was in a "dangerous" situation about to grab something that was hot after being told no and removed from it. DH slapped her hand and told her "NO! Hot!". She became hysterical and I comforted her. After that, DH's opinion changed and he will now redirect or "reason" with her (the explanation of reasoning with a 14mo is too long for this post).
Spanking or paddling is completely normal in a lot of school systems in the South. I'm totally cool with it. I was spanked (with a belt!) growing up. Never abused and never out of anger but it totally got the point across.
I may or may not remember acting badly in church then running home to try to put three pairs of pants on because I knew I had one coming.
Having said that, we were always given the option of a spanking or a non physical punishment (like grounding). We always always always chose the spanking, just to get over it. Who wants to be without tv for a week??
Not sure how things will work out with my kiddo yet. We'll have to see what he responds to and go from there. But spanking is definitely an option. And whatever means of punishment we choose, we will extend to our parents to use for him as well. We trust their judgement and want to make sure he's raised with the appropriate amount of discipline.
This, I feel you should have a punishment plan in place like time out, but I know for instance I ran towards the road one time and I got swatted on the behind for that.
I think it will be interesting to know how many on here who already have kids and spank/don't spank have boys vs girls. I saw on the other post below some of the people who don't spank and use other methods have girls (lol). I only have boys and so far and with my 9 yr old talking things out was pointless when he was 4-5.
It's a GIRL!