"You can have a glass of rum and coke...you're already in the 3rd trimester!"
hblack10
member
Seriously? I guess that means I can smoke four packs a day because I'm already in the 3rd trimester. And, heck, while I'm at it - I'll just hook up the vodka in an IV - why stop at the rum and coke?
{Backstory}
DH and I went to a friend's birthday party last night. {who has a drinking party on a Tuesday night? This guy, apparently.} We knew there would be alcohol and our escape plan was that the smell alcohol - specifically beer - makes me feel nauseated {which it does}. We were getting ready to leave after they tapped a keg. This itty-bitty petite thing stumbles up to me - put's her face right in mine {breath REEKED of liquor}, spilt her cup of rum and coke on my belly while rubbing it and informed me "You should so play beer pong with us!" ..... {Seriously?} I responded with I don't drink beer...and I'm pregnant. She stared at me blankly and said - "Oh, then we'll fill it with rum and coke. That's what they do for me! And you can have rum and coke - you're already in the third trimester! You baby will be fine!" ...... O.O .... My DH stepped in and said "I'd rather not be cleaning up vomit all night, so I'll pass for her." ...and ushered me out the door.
Seriously. Rum and Coke? Sure...why not! We're in the third trimester... *grumble grumble grumble*
Re: "You can have a glass of rum and coke...you're already in the 3rd trimester!"
Proud mother of two breech babies:)
I dont' get it....I think she was being nice trying to include you in the game. Not everyone knows every pregnancy rule....there are ALOT of old wives' tales out there. I don't think that is grounds for sterilization.
Not to start a big debate, but you actually can have one small alcoholic drink (whether it's wine or rum and coke) occasionally during your third trimester.
I agree that it's ridiculous to ask a pregnant woman if she wants to play beer pong, but having one rum and coke is not the same as smoking four packs a day or hooking yourself up to a vodka IV.
Fetal alcohol syndrome is not an "old wives' tale." Granted, a rum and coke isn't going to hurt the baby most likely and certainly won't cause FAS but I'm pretty sure everyone knows that pregnant women generally don't drink. I don't think that's a very obscure pregnancy rule.
some people.. from what i've read no amount of alcohol is safe.. no matter what trimester your in..
although in europe and other places they do say an occasional drink can be benefical.. (wine for ex) cause of the anti oxidants or whatever..
I don't see the point really.. One drink doesn't really seem worth risk..
I've read that "they" (the doctors, researchers, whomever) just don't know what the safe amount is, and thats why they say dont drink any.
This. I see it the same way. If I can't drink it as I please why drink it at all. And since that amount that causes FAS is unknown, I'd rather just refrain from drinking it period. Like you said, if I can't give up alcohol for 9 months then I have bigger issues.
As you can see from this post...no everyone doesn't think a rum and coke (or a beer) will cause Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. It is a very confusing, highly debated topic. From what I can tell from the OP's post, seems like her friends are pretty young..... I just don't see what the big deal is.
p.s. If I were at a party where beer pong were being played, I'd TOTALLY try and play....but sip water or something non alcoholic. I love that game...and I'm 32 ;-)
I agree with the PP that I would go ahead and play beer pong too but I would use water or soda or juice. I'm kind of an awesome beer pong player... and I'm almost 30 myself.
But, yes, this is a hotly debated issue. I personally abstain because I take the better safe than sorry approach, but I would not judge another third tri mama for having a drink. I would probably start judging if it were multiple drinks or an extra-large one, though.
I'm not gonna lie, I miss my cocktail nights. I have dreams of going to meet my riends for martinis and I wake up sometimes with the taste in my mouth, the dreams are that vivid.
But, I have not drank in this pregnancy, I even quit smoking. I would not be offended if someone offered me alcohol, just annoyed at the insistance that I drink. My mom drank when she was pregnant with me, one glass of red wine a day because her iron was low. So she thinks that I'm being uptight because I don't want to drink. It was good enough for her, why am I being one of these "new age weirdo moms".
Whatever. IMO it is up to a person to make their own decision on alcohol, whatever makes them comfortable. So if drinking makes you uncomfortable then it's for the best that you left.
Each to their own. I think it is nice she tried to include you. And I'm okay with having a glass of alcohol from time to time.
Just a thought - if you didn't want to have alcohol spilt on you and have to interact with drunk people, maybe don't attend a binge drinking party? The fact that it was on a Tuesday night should have been a bit of a giveaway...
::puts on flame retardant suit::
I don't judge people for not drinking during pregnancy, but the "if I can't give up something as unimportant as alcohol for the sake of my baby" comments are a little judgy coming from the other side. I know that one drink sipped over an hour or two is not going to have a negative effect on my baby. Many OB's will even recommend mommas have a glass of wine now and then. I'm not afraid to say I've had several beers this pregnancy. I have enjoyed them thoroughly, and although when not PG I can drink it up pretty well, having one hasn't made me feel the need to go have another. If you're concerned about that, then maybe you have a problem, and you are wise not to have a drink.
I think the chick in the OP's story was def rude, but mostly for spilling her drink on you, especially if she didn't appologize. That being said, I played beer pong at a Halloween party this year. My partner drank all the beers, and I helped her out by drinking like 1/4 of one. We had a great time (although our H's did kick our a$$es). Just because I'm PG doesn't mean I can't still have a good time. I think the most tragic part of this story is that it sounds like you aren't having any fun anymore. I think you should lighten up!
I agree with the above, when people say "if I can't give up something as unimportant as alcohol for the sake of my baby" it just sounds preachy.
To each their own.
I have had wine here and there through my pregnancy, usually a half glass and rarely a full one that usually takes an hour or two to drink. I've also had maybe 3 beers in total. I never drank in first tri and it was very rare in 2nd tri.
I won't drink hard alcohol though, I had a sip of a pina colada that my husband got on his birthday, and that was it. And I don't think my baby is going to get FAS from a glass of wine less then once a week. I've drank coffee my whole pregnancy too, as well as have had raw sushi. I've weighed the pros and cons personally and do not think I am doing anything wrong with my choices. I have had a very healthy and easy pregnancy so far.
Not everyone abstains completely while pregnant so don't be offended if someone offers you something as they may have different views. I've even been offered a cigarette after a stressful day at work by a friend who smoked during her pregnancy and just politely declined.
I agree with this. The implication is that it's absolutely vital that you give up alcohol yet some people selfishly choose not to, but the truth is that a small glass of wine is perfectly safe. I could give up just about anything for nine months, but if I don't need to give it up, choosing to do so doesn't make me super-mom.
I actually haven't had any alcohol during my pregnancy, but that's because I was never a big drinker anyway. At Thanksgiving, I kept sniffing everyone's wine to see if I wanted any, but everything smelled gross to my super-sensitive nose, so I didn't have anything.
My husband is an ER doctor, and he has been very cautious with what he does/doesn't want me to have. He prefers that I don't take Tums (they are pregnancy category C, so he'd rather I take Zantac which is category
, but he's totally fine with me having a small glass of wine.
By lilenatalem at 2012-01-28
I won't drink at all while pregnant. That one glass of rum and coke may not do much to me, but what might it do to a 3 pound fetus?
It would bother me if people were trying to convince me otherwise, especially if they are unfamiliar with pregnancy and are just arguing for no real reason.
Clomid Cycle #1: 50mg = BFP
=Beautiful baby girl born May 23, 2009
TTC#2: BFP Cycle #1, no fertility meds!
I had a glass of wine at Thanksgiving, but I could have gone without.
I tell everyone that food is my new "drug" of choice and I always volunteer to be the DD.
The point here some posters are trying to make is that one shot of rum mixed in coke and sipped over the course of an hour or two is not going to have much of an effect at all on your fetus. I'm not trying to convince you to have a drink, but there's no reason to get in a tizzy over being offered a drink, pregnant or not.