Sh*t my husband says

Huahine

I'm planning to deliver at a birth center that is a minimum of an hour from my house, without traffic.  With traffic, it could be 2 hours.  If a blizzard hits, I could be delivering on the side of the Mass Pike.  So although I know that laboring at home as long as possible is best, I'm also hesitant to wait too long to go in. 

As we were leaving the birth center orientation last night, DH was wondering if there was any way to tell how far along I am before we start the drive into town. 

"Couldn't I just reach up and check?" He asks.

"How on earth do you think you are going to be able to get your big hand up there?"  I respond.

"Well, isn't that what that perineal massage we are supposed to be doing is all about?"  

"Do you even know where the perinium is?  We're talking about stretching some skin at the outer edges, not fisting."

I think I'm in trouble here.  

 

 

SoonToBeMsP

I just spit out my water. That is freaking awesome.

jineau

in your situation use your best judgement if the weather is good don't worry so much, if it's in the middle of the night don't worry about traffic. leave right away knowing you'll get an hour of labor in on the way there.  Play it safe go in early if you have to! Talk to your doctor about your concerns they can best advise you or help you work out plans and back up plans. Know places such as urgent care and fire house locations that are on your way, in case you have to detour to one of them. My aunt had to go to the fire station, when she delivered her 2nd. They never would have made it to the hospital. Just alleviate your stress by having alternate plans. My mom works urgent care in the Colorado mtns. and gets this a lot. They have an OB and ambulance on hand always.

talitha712

Too funny.  And totally something my husband would say.

Angelrelic

Oh man, thats exactly what my morning needed! I bout fell off my chair laughing! 

On a more serious note, i'm sure you'll do fine with when to go and getting there while still having an inside baby. 

purpletulip

Ha, that's great!
You might want to go to the birth center sooner rather than later. I understand the desire to labor at home, but you don't want to spend an hour or more in the car while in active labor. And a birthing center will be a nice atmosphere anyway! You can have time to get settled before you hit active labor.

d-squared

Bwahahaha that's hillirious.

DEBBIE33CASEY

You shoulda asked him if he could just pull the baby out for you while his hand's up there. That way you don't have to go through the whole L&D bullsht.