trying to rationalize our loss

Eastie156

Hi~

Just joining...My husband and I were a few days shy of 8 weeks and lost our baby on 11/20/11. It was a scary and painful experience involving the emergency room and alot of Dr's. I'm feeling so very sad and lost-is this normal? When does the crying stop? I know alot of this is excess hormones but when does it get better? Thank you.

emerlea

((hugs))

Sorry to hear about your loss, hon.  I had a D&C at 8 weeks on November 2nd.  Judging by your post, you had a much scarier hospital experience than I did, but I definitely understand how you're feeling.  I cried a lot - off and on - for a few days after, but it tapered off.  More than anything, I felt like I was having the worst PMS of my life.  I think everyone is different, but physically, my body was back to normal much sooner than I expected.  Emotionally, I still think about it, but almost a month later, I'm back into my old routine and looking forward to having a sticky baby soon.  It sounds cliche, but your feelings are normal and each day afterward makes it a little easier.

Eastie156

emerlea-it was just surreal. The ER experience was tough-(IV/morphine, uncaring u/s technician). So much more than we thought it would be. I think we both thought the Dr. would tell us the cramping was normal and to go home. There wasn't even bleeding in the begining, just cramping. Anyway, my MIL also had a ms the first time she and my FIL got pregnant so I can talk to her about it. No one really knew we were pregnant so there's no one to talk to in that sense... Thanks for your thoughts

karencz

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It's hard to say, I cried just a few times afterward, but now I'm feeling more angry. I couldn't say I lost my baby without crying for about 5 days or so afterward.

Naga

Eastie156:

emerlea-it was just surreal. The ER experience was tough-(IV/morphine, uncaring u/s technician). So much more than we thought it would be. I think we both thought the Dr. would tell us the cramping was normal and to go home. There wasn't even bleeding in the begining, just cramping. Anyway, my MIL also had a ms the first time she and my FIL got pregnant so I can talk to her about it. No one really knew we were pregnant so there's no one to talk to in that sense... Thanks for your thoughts

I'm so sorry for your loss *hugs... We were in the same boat, they gave me morphone because the pain was so excruciating when I was in ER. I hope you feel a lot better, I'm still coping it until now, but then again my mc was on 11/26. I felt empty everytime I hear xmas song I cried (we were going to announce our pregnancy on xmas). Coping and grieving as much as you can, because for me its the only way I can rationalized my self of my loss.  

KareBear0408

MrsSparklebottom:

I'm so sorry for your loss, Eastie.

I go back and forth between feeling ok and being incredibly depressed. My MIL, who had 2 m/c herself, said that it's very normal to have mood swings and be emotional for a couple weeks or more. It's not just hormones, it's real sadness over the loss of your pregnancy. 

I hope you can get some support. Take care. 

This exactly. I had my second one almost a month ago exactly and I bawled my eyes out the past few days just out of anger/sadness that it's happened to us twice now.

RedRose84

I'm so very sorry for your loss.  I also had a very traumatic experience at the ER and was numb for a few days after my D&C.  It was a horrible experience.  I started to feel better almost a week later.  I went back to work two days after the procedure and it was so hard.  Each day, I felt a little better.  I started to do the things I love again (walk the dogs, read, get out on the weekends) and it made me feel human again.  I also started blogging which has been very therapeutic for me. I have found this board and TTCAL extremely helpful.  Hope you feel better soon.  PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.  **Big Hugs**

Ladiebug710

I am very sorry for your loss.  It takes a while for the crying to stop.  I still cry when I think about it, but it sneaks up on me less and less often.  About two months after was when the anger really set in, but luckily that didn't last very long.  There is just nothing fair about it, and it hurts, badly.

Eastie156

Naga- we were also going to announce our pregnancy at Christmas. That's been the hardest part, just hoping to get through the holidays. Sounds like our experience was really similar.

 Thank you all so much. This board is very supportive~we both appreciate it.