Nighttime separation anxiety

lovekissedmama

Hello everyone: I have been reading the posts on this board for almost one year! I've learned so much and am very grateful to have found a place where my parenting style is not outside of what is generally considered normal. I am posting from my phone so the formatting might not be ideal. Working on getting a ticker and picture in signature. A bit about me: I have an 11 month old daughter; I breastfeed, practice EC, went with BLW, wear DD everyday, and bedshare. I am hoping to have some insight concerning the last point. DD seems to be experiencing separation anxiety more severely at night. For the last few months I would nurse her to sleep in our bed, sneak out and have a decent chunk of time to myself before she woke needing me. I always nurse her back to sleep and usually join her in bed by 10. Lately she wakes every 20 minutes or so and sort of yelps in fright when she discovers my absence. I either need to stay with her in bed (did this for months and really need some "me" time at night so don't want this option) keep her up with us (doesn't accomplish anything other than a cranky baby) or just nurse her back to sleep each time she wakes up until I feel like going to bed (hate that she wakes up frightened frequently every night). Am I missing a better option? Any suggestions? I am leaning towards just staying with her until this separation anxiety passes. I love sleeping with her and we both sleep beautifully once I join her so ending bedsharing is not the answer. Anyone know how long the separation anxiety thing lasts?

tchubirubi

I don't know how long it lasts, but I've been having the same problems you have lately. Only I don't usually leave the room - I manage to work on my PC or play videogames or even watch tv with her fast asleep (the sound and the lights turned way down, of course). Anyway, I observed that if I BF her until she changes her breathing, she stays asleep for longer periods - hours even. But I have to wait until her breathing becomes really, really heavy (by then, she usually lets go of the nipple herself and starts suckling on air - dreaming it is still in her mouth, no doubt - so so sooooo cute).

I don't know if you've tried that one yet, maybe I am just suggesting more of the same; sorry if that's the case...

Anyway, good luck!

lovekissedmama

Thanks for your input. Typically, I unlatch her because I begin to get restless but tonight I let her nurse until she pulled away. We'll see if it helps! I intend to hang out in the bedroom while she sleeps until this phase passes. Can't stand the thought of her being frightened several times a night.

tchubirubi

Please let us know how it went. My LO sometimes takes a while to get to that point, but it is totally worth it.

Again, good luck!