Manners Question about "Yes Ma'am" / "Yes Sir"
Are you teaching your kids to say "Yes Ma'am" and "Yes Sir"? I wasn't planning to do this because I thought it sounded a bit formal and southern. However, I'm sort of thinking that this may be easier to teach her this because it's a catch-all that she can use in any situation.
To date, if DH or I tell her to do something and she yells, "No!" I say, "DD, do not talk to daddy/mommy like that, you say 'Yes Daddy/Mommy'". Now there are others telling her what to do like Grandma, Grandpa, her DCP, etc. I was planning to teach her to say "Yes <insert person's name>" but now I'm thinking it may be easier and simpler to teach her to say "Yes Ma'am"/"Yes Sir" in those situations. Once she's older, she can say the person's name if she wants.
Anyway, I'm just wondering what other people are doing.
Re: Manners Question about &quot;Yes Ma'am&quot; / &quot;Yes Sir&quot;
DD1 9.24.06
DS 7.1.08
twins due 9.7.11 lost twin A at
DD2 4.7.12
I'm with WNW, and I will teach C to address people as "Miss/Mister (first name)".
A word of warning. I was raised in the south and "yes Ma'am and Sir" are just signs of respect. I'll say it to whatever age group, whether older or younger than me and don't think twice about it. I have HAD to think twice about it, though, when i moved to PA. I apparently offended so many people by calling them "Ma'am" that I really had to pause when thanking someone.
It got to be really uncomfortable once when one of my mentors got really mad at me for calling her Ma'am, which only made me try to be more respectful in tone and the Ma'ams just kept multiplying. It was like watching a train crash and being unable to stop it.
I'm not quite sure what i'll teach DD. I still love the respect in sir/ma'am but understand that it's not for everyone.
I am not planning to teach the kids this
Ha, this issue has come up in our house in just the past week. DS goes to a DCP where manners are very important. I knew going in to it from previous parents that "yes ma'am" was expected. I am from NC, so you certainly here it more down there, but I wasn't really raised that way. Anyway, we have not stressed it to DS, we stress please more. I decided if it was important to DCP she could stress it. And, she has, she just says it every time he says yes, she is nice about it. Now, he says it all the time! Although, he says ma'am to everyone, including DH.
Eventually when he learns the difference I'm hoping he'll just be able to say it at DCP/out and not to me, because I don't feel the need for ma'am with me. We do still stress please/thank you and he's doing great with that.
I hadn't really thought about it, but we will probably do "Yes, please" and "No, thank you". Just because those are what I naturally say, despite being raised in a "Yes, ma'am" household.
The one thing I was raised with and that I will try to pass on is not responding "What?" when someone calls you. That drove my dad absolutely crazy and I always had to say "Yes, sir/ma'am". We'll simplify to just "Yes". It totally grates on me to hear parents call their kids and get whiny "Whaaaatttt?"s in response.
I was raised always saying my ma'ams and sirs and I still address my elders as such when I'm in my home town.
However, there is no chance that we would make Warner do that, it's just not us. My sister is teaching her son this and every time I hear her correct my nephew to say "yes, ma'am" to me, I cringe. I don't know why, but I don't like it.
We are just making sure to teach Warner to say "yes" instead of "yeah" or "yes, please" and "no, thank you" depending on the situation.
Dear VTK,
Yes, ma'am, we are. I was born and raised in NoVa and expected to sir/ma'am/please/thank you. I use ma'am with H1 even: "No ma'am, you may not climb on that desk." A few years ago, some friends asked me why I did it and I explained that I can't expect respect out of H, if she doesn't get respect from me. In my eyes, it is a two-way street.
Likewise, I use it for other people younger than me. I am teaching at our community college, and have about a 60:40 traditional:adult blend of students. As typical with colleges, I am called Mrs./Ms. S(**********), but I try to use sir/ma'am with students of all ages.
I won't make the girls use sir/ma'am (unless she is in trouble and needs to apologize) , but I will encourage it, heavily. Close friends of ours will be aunt/uncle [name], and less-close friends will be Ms/Mr [name], until that person requests otherwise. She is really fantastic with her please-and-thank-yous. She rarely needs to be prompted on either. I have overheard strangers commenting on it, and it makes me happy. If I do nothing else correctly as a parent, at least I have this.
I think I am more flexible on it, since we have moved to Illinois. It's definitely less used here.
Sir, for sure,
kewliegirl