Single Parents

Please tell me about your long-distance visitation (long)

And Intro since I think I've only posted once on here awhile back. 

 Back-story: I'm from TX and moved to CO at the first of the year to be close to my older sister and nephews. Met the guy & dated him for 3 months when I got pregnant. He races for the olympics and for obvious reasons was not ready for a baby. There was a lot of tension between us b/c of this and the fact that we hadn't been dating long before. When I was 6 months pregnant, he told me that he would be there for my daughter, but didn't want to raise her as a family & wasn't going to be able to be around much the first year. (As the olympics are this coming year) I moved back to TX for more support since I'm not getting any from him. (he agreed this would be best)

 I guess what I'm wondering is how does the long distance visitation work? Who pays for the travel expenses  & would he even get to take her if I'm breastfeeding the first year anyways?

 Sorry this was so long & thanks to those of you who answer me!

 

Kelly 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Please tell me about your long-distance visitation (long)

  • I have the same question... Im leaving VA (where STBXH lives) to CA.

    He seems to think we can throw LO on a plane once a year to come see him. HA.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Single mama - beautiful baby - learning to live
  • I am sorry about your situation. Even though you are breastfeeding, it wont keep the father from having overnight visitation. The judges see past this all the time. Since you and your EX we not married, the chances of him having long distance visitation is slim.

    My EX lives in FL and he just got his 1st unsupervised visitaiton in October. He pays for ALL expenses and picks DS up Saturday and Sunday from 9-5. He doesn't have overnight yet, but will in March from 9am Satuday to 5pm Sunday (maybe). It will be over a year before DS flies to FL, but when that happens EX has to pay for his flight up, 2 flights down, 2 flights back up, and then his flight down. The chances of him doing that are slim to none.

    Have you flied for Child Support yet? Are you doing visitation through mediation? Good luck!

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  • imagemamastich:

    I have the same question... Im leaving VA (where STBXH lives) to CA.

    He seems to think we can throw LO on a plane once a year to come see him. HA.

    In all honesty, if he fights for it, it will happen. Kids cant fly alone under the age of 4, but if he flys to get LO he can take the child back to his state. My EX will be doing this eventually but since it involves a ton of money, the chances of him doing it are slim to none. MAYBE once a year. I know that IF EX ever does this the visits will be a little longer (maybe a week or 2 in the future) because it doesnt make since to do it for a weekend.

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  • Is visitation usally a gradual thing? like if he hasnt seen LO in a year he cant just fight and her for 8 hrs or an overnight right?

    And if I have sole physical custody is it at my discretion?

    This all seems so complicated. tia

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Single mama - beautiful baby - learning to live
  • imageJCGreene85:


    Have you flied for Child Support yet? Are you doing visitation through mediation? Good luck!

     

    My understanding was that I couldn't file for Child Support until after my lo is born. I told the ex that I would be going through the court to have our visitation documented, but like I said before, he is very busy and doesn't have time to see her more than a couple times a year. He'll be flying here right after she's born & then the 3 of us are taking her to his parents' (SC) during the early Summer.  

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagemamastich:

    Is visitation usally a gradual thing? like if he hasnt seen LO in a year he cant just fight and her for 8 hrs or an overnight right?

    And if I have sole physical custody is it at my discretion?

    This all seems so complicated. tia

    It was in my case. Everything was supervised, then he was granted visitation  (when he filed) 9-5 Saturday and Sunday EOW. If he visits consecutively for 3 months, then he'll 2  get overnights a month. In the future we will discuss longer visits, and eventually out of state. Every case is different. 

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  • imagetifanico:
    imageJCGreene85:

     Since you and your EX we not married, the chances of him having long distance visitation is slim.

    After paternity is proven, I dont see what the difference would be.

    We have a visitation schedule of 9 weeks per year divided into 3 visits. We started when DD was 1.5 y/o. We could have started before but our custody case took more than a year.

    We split visitation expenses. 

    it was supposed to say "at first" in there. No idea what happened :) 

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  • STBXH and I live 8 hours apart (drive) and 1.5 hours apart via plane. He travels to where we are 2 weekends a month and spends sat and sun with LO. I don't pay for his travel but it was calculated into his child support payments.
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