That felt kind of pointless — The Bump
Special Needs

That felt kind of pointless

DS had an evaluation with our county's Child Find program (through the school district) today and they just did a general developmental milestones evaluation that didn't address any of our concerns.  When we're concerned about sensory sensitivities, social problems with other kids, and repetitive unwavering play, how is sitting down with an adult and identifying pictures going to do, well, anything at all? 

DS had a great time answering questions incorrectly b/c he thought it was funny too.  The evaluator caught a few of them, but not all of them, so I think he might end up scoring rather poorly on those general knowledge questions. 

The evaluator said that she was going to recommend a school observation to the committee, but that right now he seems like a normal 3 year old boy.  I kind of wish we had started with the school observation, since it sounds like we might not even get one.  Is there anything I can do to MAKE it happen?   

I guess I need to go get on that waiting list with the developmental pedi. 

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Re: That felt kind of pointless

  • The school is not there to diagnose him (which is what you post sounds like you anticipated).  At his age, the evaluation is there to determine if he needs additional intervention to help him be academically successful.  Auntie has a great post down a few about needs driving services that might be useful to read so you understand the school's goals in services (which are often different than a parent's goals).
  • If you really want your kid evaluated, perhaps go private.  My son's preschool teachers felt that my son was not doing well in school, and rather than go through the school system (my son is currently in a private preschool), we had him evaluated by a pediatric OT and SLP.  In the two months it would have taken his local public school to identify and start the process of addressing my son's needs, my son has already started ST, OT, had a vision exam (near sighed and needs glasses) and has an appointment to see the developmental pediatrician at Children's.  I would check with your insurance, but our insurance covers ST and OT since his therapies are medically necessary.   

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    Global Developmental Delay consisting of a receptive language delay and self help skills delay

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  • You can request a classroom observation. It is your legal right to have input during the evaluation period. Put your request in writing.
  • I think it's great that they're going to observe him in a classroom setting, for social and sensory issues it's really the gold standard. My son has Aspergers and probably would have done the same. He was always terrific with adults one on one. He didn't get a dx until he was nearly seven because he was bright and very engaged with adults.   My real concern is that he won't get that observation. His evaluation bore before a committee next week and they decide if it is warranted.

    He is similar to your DS, I suppose. Starting about 6 months to a year ago, he lost his pervasive fear of non-family members and became a little social butterfly with adults. They generally see him as a hilarious kid that loves trains and really likes to talk to them. Even his preschool teachers have said as much to me, and haven't made the connection that he refuses to play with the other kids and only wants to play with them. He is throwing up flags like crazy though. I am pretty sure that almost every post I put on the Preschool board lately you ask if he is on the spectrum. (Today included) :-)

    I guess I really want someone to say, no, you aren't crazy and here is what we are going to do to help. He is currently losing the one sort of friend he had because he is going through an extra anti social phase and is refusing to even be in the same room as the kid when we have one on one playdates. I don't want him to grow up friendless and unable to function around peers.
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    My real concern is that he won't get that observation. His evaluation bore before a committee next week and they decide if it is warranted.

    Since he's over 3 years old, you are automatically a participant in his Committee for Special Education. As such you could submit a brief but detailed list of your concern to the rest of the committee. I did this when DS was going into middle school because he had some issues that weren't readily apparent to his teachers.


    He is similar to your DS, I suppose. Starting about 6 months to a year ago, he lost his pervasive fear of non-family members and became a little social butterfly with adults. They generally see him as a hilarious kid that loves trains and really likes to talk to them. Even his preschool teachers have said as much to me, and haven't made the connection that he refuses to play with the other kids and only wants to play with them. He is throwing up flags like crazy though. I am pretty sure that almost every post I put on the Preschool board lately you ask if he is on the spectrum. (Today included) :-)

    The thing is, after age 3, deficits have to have an educational (not academic) flavor to them. If he were angry at peers in school who inadvertantly bumped him or assumed they were crying to make him sad you could argue this imspacted his ability to get along with peers in the classroom in a collaborative manner. With his sister, not so much.  Things might change once he hits kindie.

    I guess I really want someone to say, no, you aren't crazy and here is what we are going to do to help. He is currently losing the one sort of friend he had because he is going through an extra anti social phase and is refusing to even be in the same room as the kid when we have one on one playdates. I don't want him to grow up friendless and unable to function around peers.

    I don't think you're crazy. Quite the opposite, you seem unusually attuned to your little boy. The thing is, subtle presentations sometimes don't present with a sense of urgency until kids are older. It's uniquely hard to advocate for such kids. It's given me white hair.

     

     That is both reassuring and terrifying.  Being attuned to him is relatively easy, because as sad as it makes me to admit it, he is exactly like me as a kid.  The first time he sat down in the middle of a playground, completely ignoring the playground equipment and all of the kids around him to pretend that he was driving a train, I completely freaked out inside.  I pretended to be a horse until the SIXTH grade.  I spent the majority of my childhood alternating between being desperately lonely but too frightened of being made fun of by other kids to talk to them and not caring at all about other kids b/c they didn't like what I liked.  I didn't understand other girls at all, but got pretty good at pretending to be normal by the time high school hit, thank goodness.  Somehow I ended up ok in the end (although, I became a TEACHER of all things, and always got scored really low on empathy during evaluations) but I really don't want him to have the crappy, bullied, lonely childhood that I did. 

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  • I am sorry. I know how frustrating it can be to wait for an evaluation and then feel like you didn't  get much from it.  I would get on the wait list for a developmental pedi.  I will say keep your expectations low there too.  It took 3 visits for my son to get a diagnosis (which seemed like forever after waiting 8 months for the apt). Keep doing what you are doing.  While the developmental pedi can give you a diagnosis, they will pretty much recommend the same things you can start on your own.  
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  • imagelindzed:
    I am sorry. I know how frustrating it can be to wait for an evaluation and then feel like you didn't  get much from it.  I would get on the wait list for a developmental pedi.  I will say keep your expectations low there too.  It took 3 visits for my son to get a diagnosis (which seemed like forever after waiting 8 months for the apt). Keep doing what you are doing.  While the developmental pedi can give you a diagnosis, they will pretty much recommend the same things you can start on your own.  

    Any chance you have a link to what those things are?  We've tried role playing to encourage social interaction, and it works as long as no one goes off script and if DS is having an amenable day.  We're trying to convince him that he has to be a little boy in public (he would spend his entire time pretending to be a train and chugging instead of talking otherwise), and are teaching him that some social things are just "rules" that have to be followed-- for example, not running away when someone is trying to say sorry to you. I don't really know where to start when it involves his sensory issues though.  

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