Christmas and other kids

BeccaMarie

If you have children other than your angel(s), how are you incorporating your angel into your holiday season?

Livie and I are going to go shopping for a toy that Carter would have liked, and then we will donate it. But do I include Carter in Santa and other gifts? I think I will get him a stocking, but do I fill it?

In our house, St. Nick brings Christmas jammies on St. Nicholas Day. I already bought Carter's Christmas jammies. Do I set out his shoes too and let St. Nick bring his jammies? Then what - donate those too?

coolteacher79

I think you need to do what feels comfortable for you.

For Christmas, we hang Isaac's stocking with the rest of ours, and we write him letter and put them in it. We also tastefully decorate his grave at the cemetery. Our church participates in Operation Christmas Child each year, so we donate a box of toys specifically for a boy who is Isaac's age.

Christmas is a REALLY difficult holiday for me... it makes me miss him so much.

hewinked

I got some stuff from Adam's hospital with suggestions on how to honor your kids at Christmas.  One of the suggestions was to fill their stocking with letters to your child from friends and family.  That's what I'm doing.  I'm gonna open them all on Christmas morning.  Gives me something to look forward to and makes me feel ike I'm "helping" Adam open presents.  For all the letters I get, I'm gonna do something to pay it forward.  Still thinking on that one.   

I also got a little blue Christmas tree for Adam.  My mom made him a special ornament that hangs on our tree.  I'm gonna get some think tinsel to decorate his cabinet (we have a cabinet with his urn and other memorial things). 

 

pandabearlover

I have ornaments for our tree. I will probably put a stocking up next year. We are moving right after the holidays so I am not unpacking most of my holiday stuff.  Maybe this isn't right for some, but for me, the holidays are about my daughters.  I am focusing on them and making special memories. Quincy won't be forgotten, but he also won't be the focus.  

BeccaMarie

pandabearlover:

I have ornaments for our tree. I will probably put a stocking up next year. We are moving right after the holidays so I am not unpacking most of my holiday stuff.  Maybe this isn't right for some, but for me, the holidays are about my daughters.  I am focusing on them and making special memories. Quincy won't be forgotten, but he also won't be the focus.  

This is where I struggle.  I want Carter included, but I don't want it 'all about Carter' while forgetting to make it special for Livie.

DD got to meet Carter - hold him, bathe him, etc, so her brother isn't an abstract concept for her.  And before we lost him, we had already discussed some of our Christmas plans, so I don't know what to exclude him from and include him for.

Sorry for being blunt (sometimes I can't help it) but I don't want to end up a crazy lady that is obsessed with her dead baby.  I know I will always have a hole in my heart, and I am trying to work through a lot of my grief, but I don't want it to overtake me.   It is all a balance I suppose...

 

erbarmywife

We bought ornaments and little stockings last year, we will buy an ornament for each of our kids (living and angels) again this year.  We are going to just buy the girls a new ornament each year, one that is for rememberance.  They will each get one of these:

 https://www.hallmark.com/Product/ProductDetails/1795QXG4159_DK

Auki13

I do want to do something special for Annabelle, but like pp mentioned I don't want ithe holidays to center around her.  My other kids are our primary focus, but we will be visiting her gravesite at some point during the holidays to bring her a special gift.  For halloween it was a tiny tutu that the kids decided was her costume and for Thanksgiving we brought her a little scarecrow.  The kids like to bring something small so that is sort of evolving into our family tradition. We also get a gift for a needy child every year and I would like to find one that is similar in age as what Annabelle would be...

Shayna0182

On Christmas Eve, I go to each cemetary, and lay a rose on each of the girl's headstones.  Other than that, we don't do anything else.   I would like to get a personalized ornament for our tree, but I think that's the extent of it.