Blended Families
cole2144
member
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
Loving your husband more than your children
cole2144
member
I just read an article on yahoo that said you should love your husband more than your children. The majority of the comments posted seemed to agree. Do you?
No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.This discussion has been closed.
Re: Loving your husband more than your children
More than my kids...right now, yes.
Grandkids...debatable. My grands are adorable, intelligent, sweet... But then so is DH.
I think the general idea is that you raise your kids to leave the nest, but your husband is there for the rest of your life.
TTC 10/11. IUI 2/12. BFP 3/8/12. 4/26/12 missed mc. RE consult 5/17/12. IVF #1 ER 7/13/12 53R, 41M ICSIed, 32F, 8 5d, 6 6d blasts - all PGD/frozen. PGD results 1 normal M and 1 normal F, 1 maybe M. FET 9/6, transferred 1 F embie. Beta 9/15 BFN. FET#2 planned for 11/2012 put off until 2013. Surprise BFP 11/21/12!! My son was born on 7/24/13!
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
The love i have for my husband is obviously different that the love I have for DD. Neither is more or less than the other. But i am a firm believer that a good marriage, a happy home, and loving parents who are committed to each other are very important factors in raising a well balanced child.
How old are your bio-kids?
I think it's stupid. WTH do you have to love one more than the other? I do things for my family as a whole. My care and love for my husband is not separate from the children, neither is my love for my children separate from my love for my family. I wouldn't have any of the parts without the whole. It's like asking whether you like the milk or the sugar best in your ice cream. It's a package deal.
I know other families where their family is complete in other ways: just a child/parent, just a husband/wife, but especially as part of a BF, it's impossible to separate the spouse from kids when defining your love.
bump burp
I love my kids and my SO. But it's a different type of love. I don't think they're totally comparable.
For one thing, I have an obligation to care for and protect my kids. If I had to choose to save my child vs. SO you bet your ass I'd save my child. They're children and it's my responsibility to protect them. I will always choose my children over my SO (or H, whatever) because I feel that's part of being a mother. But I deeply love my SO - equally as much as I love my kids. kwim? It's hard to explain. Some people see that as loving my children more but it's not. It's just different.
You hear this kind of thing all the time, but I don't really understand it. I love my husband and my kids in totally different ways, and I wouldn't know where to start weighing one against the other.
Also, you hear a lot about putting your marriage before your kids. I'm a proponent of this, in theory. But honestly, I can't think of two many times when I've had a binary type choice between my kids and my husband and had to pick one.
So I guess I don't understand the context or the point.
All of this
This is a very good point.
I love my kids in a way I could never love my husband. (well, FI for another several weeks)
There is nothing my kids could do that would make me stop loving them. I may not agree with them, might not like their choices in life, might not think they're fabulous people BUT I will always love them completely. (One could be jailed for life and I wouldn't agree with what they did, I wouldn't like what they did but I would always love them) That does NOT go for my FI.
EDIT I agree with everyone that it's different. I think it's hard to say you love one more or less but when it comes down to it there is nothing that would make me stop loving my kids and there are things that would break the bond with my FI. I would unders no circumstances deal with a cheating spouse and would certainly lose the love in situations of abuse. (been there before)
I agree you need put your family first but I don't think that means you husband only.
The minister who married us told us this same thing. He said the best thing we could do for our kids is model a healthy relationship for them. And that meant putting each other first and not letting anything divide us. Kids included.
I took it to mean priority cause you love your kids differently. So in that regard, yes. My God has first priority, My DH second and my children third. My marriage is the foundation of our family and if you crack your foundation, your house (family) can crumble and fall down. My assignment as mom is temporary but I am wife til death and the best gift I can give my children is a true example of covenant marriage so they will have the same when they are grown.
DH and I would both give our lives for our children and all their needs are met but we put our marriage first FOR our children. People assume marriage first=neglect of children and it couldnt be further from the truth. Our children have security in our solid marriage and we've found that God's way is always better that what we think and it works for us.