I have not yet had my baby, but after reading a few posts down about 3rd hand smoke, I have begun to worry about my SIL. She is a smoker, and I certainly want to handle the situation of 3rd hand smoke diplomatically. I DON'T want to tell her that she cannot hold or interact with the baby, but I am fairly certain that if I tell her about 3rd hand smoke she will just spray herself and her car with something that smells okay... Obviously, in that situation the toxins will still be on her and in her car, etc.
This problem is slightly compounded because we don't have the BEST relationship, and I worry that she will think that anything I say about the smoking is just to criticize her.
What would you do?