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Turkey Day vent re: FI's in laws

NewStepMom2ndBrideNewStepMom2ndBride
in Blended Families

So I just posted on here a little while ago about my SN FSD and her various behavioral and homework issues. For the most part, she's pretty intelligent and mature and when she can calm herself down, she knows she has to do her homework.

 

BUT, we just found out that she had a BUNCH of HW she didn't do and we were planning on making it up over Thanksgiving break. Okay, no problem. She might not be thrilled but she was fine.

 

So, we head up to her mom's family (mom getting back in the picture, lives in WA with new husband) and bring some homework. Everything is fine although her grandmother (FI's ex MIL) has a MAJOR attitude with me from the beginning. Then my FSD makes her Xmas list instead of doing her HW and puts 'Eninem tickets' on it - uhhh, no way.

 

So, we just mention that there's no way she can go to that concert and that she is not going to receive ALL she put on that list because she deliberately disobeyed her dad by making the Xmas list instead of doing her HW (we simply asked her to do it AFTER her homework).

 

SHE's fine, my FSD is fine, but the grandmother FLIPS THE EFF OUT. Says that I have no right parenting her, that she shouldn't have to do her HW over the Thanksgiving holiday. The whole day of Thanksgiving, we were there for 6 hours, she did 1/2 hr of homework which was time she would've been off by herself ANYWAY. Both the dad, my FI, and the daughter are FINE with my parenting her, it's her mom's family. So, basically they say I can't come back which, of course, I don't want to do after they swore, yelled, and physically pushed me (I didn't do any of that so I can hold my head up high).

 

Also, they took serious offense to the fact that I took a short nap (I have multiple chronic pain and fatigue disorders, which we explained and they just didn't care about, apparently).

 

Would a good solution in the future be us dropping my FSD off for family parties and the two of us grabbing a movie/dinner, etc and picking her up after? 

 

**THANKS FOR LISTENING, LADIES!** <3 

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Re: Turkey Day vent re: FI's in laws

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    NewStepMom2ndBrideNewStepMom2ndBride
    imagewendilea:

    Yes, drop her off in the future and go do your own thing.  There is no way in h3ll that I would share a holiday with either BM, or my ex. 

    Also, while I can understand making up homework over the holiday break, did she have to do it ON Thanksgiving?  Seems like you might want to lighten up just a bit.

    The thing with her is that if she is doing hw EVERY day, she stays consistent with doing some every day. If she takes even ONE day off, her routine falls apart - which I can understand, I'm the same way a little bit. 

    And, legit, she did only 20 minutes probably. We just wanted to ask her 6 questions (3 questions from section 10:1, 3 questions from 10:2). She had SO much HW to do this weekend, she is going to be working on it till Sunday night. Trust me, we would LOVE to lighten up. Being this strict isn't fun but it actually seems to be working. 

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    Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    There is nothing stating you have to go there, seriously next time don't.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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    wintersnight20wintersnight20
    I would avoid anymore holiday get togethers in the future and just drop her off...And I think its fair enough doing homework on Thanksgiving- Don't do your homework and theres consequences for it. Sounds like she needs routine and had she had done it in the first place it wouldnt have been an issue. I see nothing wrong with a SM enforcing homework rules- dad should be doing it but who cares as long as it gets done. Besides EVERYONE should have a vested interest in her making good grades regardless.
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    SueBearSueBear member

    Either drop her off and do your own thing, or, if there is no CO saying they are obligated to split holidays, I would have your FI tell them that "obviously visiting on a holiday doesn't work.  We'll have to find another time to get together."  Double ditto if you are driving there - - they can pick her up on their own.

    Your FI should also tell them to mind their manners around you.

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    FutureMrsWittigFutureMrsWittig member

    Drop her off, do your own thing, and then pick her up. 

    I have a chronic pain syndrome also, and stress does NOT help it.  Take care of yourself.

    Mama of 2: one who grew in my womb, both who grow in my heart.
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    NewStepMom2ndBrideNewStepMom2ndBride
    imageFutureMrsWittig:

    Drop her off, do your own thing, and then pick her up. 

    I have a chronic pain syndrome also, and stress does NOT help it.  Take care of yourself.

    Will do, thanks!

     

    If you don't mind sharing, do you have fibro or something else? I'm sorry. :-(

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