How come husbands don't "nest"?

charmane23

I just wish my DH had some hint of the nesting stage that pregnant women get. I guess I've had it myself...I feel like my house is never clean and it just depresses the crap out of me. Last night I started straightening up stuff and he just shook his head at me and told me to sit down b/c the house was fine. But there is stuff in places that is shouldn't be and I really have a NEED to get it up...why does it not bother him? It irriates me that it doesn't irriate him and that he doesn't have the same need to straighten it up. He's got off work today at 10:30 and though I won't get off for another hour (or two), do you think he's going to straighten up? I even asekd him if he would since we are going out of town to visit his family...and I mentioned how neither one of us likes coming back to a dirty house -  I don't think that phased him in the least! I'd be willing to put money on it that he sits his butt on the couch and does nothing all day!

jineau

I beg to differ hear while I have yet to have the urge DH has been seriously nesting for the past month or so.

AliW220

I think men are just too oblivious to things. My SO and I had a pretty good blow-out in my 1st tri shortly after we moved about splitting household tasks 50/50. Finding a compromise has taken work on both our ends. I have gotten better at asking him for help instead of running around cleaning and getting pissed off -if there are certain things I want to get done on a weekend, I'll let him know the plans ahead of time so he can anticipate. I also have gotten better at accepting and being thankful for whatever help he gives. Yes he'll clean the bathrooms.... but will do it during the commercials of the football game. Whatever, they still get done!  He tries to be clear about what games are on the weekends, or mornings he wants to hunt, so that I understand the he won't be around/productive during certain times. I think we've made it clear to eachother that we want to be a contributing part of a team, and that just takes communication!

To be clear tho, I realize that I am extremely lucky to have a man so considerate, and wanting to help out.  We've both been married before, and know how relationships can break down, so we're probably a little oversensitive to identifying potential problems and addressing them right away. Live and learn, I guess.

talitha712

I guess I'm lucky that my DH has been "nesting" as much as I have.  I've been washing stuff and organizing.  He's been putting stuff together and helping get the house cleaned.  Honestly, I think he's more worried about the house being clean than I am right now

baloneydisc

MH has been nesting for months.  He keeps asking me when it's going to kick in for me.  Unfortunately I have the nesting urge now that I'm stuck on bed rest

namara5532

I suspect we get nesting instincts due to hormones.  Before pregnancy, I wouldn't want to do anything at night.  Now I'm waking up in the middle of the night with the urge to clean something.  I can only explain it by saying it must be hormones.  Guys obviously don't have the cocktail of hormones running through them while we're pregnant.

He's usually the bigger cleaner than I am though, so it's worked out in some weird way.  Although he's happy to sit around and play video games while my nesting hormones make me crazy, half the time he wants to help me clean anyway.  I get mad at him every now and then, but I just remind myself that I'm being driven by hormones he doesn't have.  That helps me take advantage of the hormones without getting steamed at DH.

KitKat83

Do home renos count as man nesting?? I've noticed my husband's "git 'er done" attitude has definitely amped during this pregnancy. Even unnecessary renos are getting done! Can't complain!!

Tracilaroo

My husband nests, it's just not in the cleaning and organizing way that I do. He is putting in the floors in the nursery, building furniture, picking paint colors, finding stuff around the house that needs to be fixed or taken care of before the baby gets here - that sort of thing.

anhg80

KitKat83:

Do home renos count as man nesting?? I've noticed my husband's "git 'er done" attitude has definitely amped during this pregnancy. Even unnecessary renos are getting done! Can't complain!!

This is my husband, too!  Plus, he's cleaner than I am in general.  He keeps asking when I'm going to start nesting.

 

MAMAxB

niccimax:

We nest and prepare.

They get drunk and make us mad.

Then the baby comes and everyone lives happily ever after.

The end. 

Haha well put

Every dad is obviously different. MH doesn't nest.. his attitude is "lets rest before we can't anymore"

kmchavez82

AliW220:

I think men are just too oblivious to things. My SO and I had a pretty good blow-out in my 1st tri shortly after we moved about splitting household tasks 50/50. Finding a compromise has taken work on both our ends. I have gotten better at asking him for help instead of running around cleaning and getting pissed off -if there are certain things I want to get done on a weekend, I'll let him know the plans ahead of time so he can anticipate. I also have gotten better at accepting and being thankful for whatever help he gives. Yes he'll clean the bathrooms.... but will do it during the commercials of the football game. Whatever, they still get done!  He tries to be clear about what games are on the weekends, or mornings he wants to hunt, so that I understand the he won't be around/productive during certain times. I think we've made it clear to eachother that we want to be a contributing part of a team, and that just takes communication!

To be clear tho, I realize that I am extremely lucky to have a man so considerate, and wanting to help out.  We've both been married before, and know how relationships can break down, so we're probably a little oversensitive to identifying potential problems and addressing them right away. Live and learn, I guess.

 I can relate to this for the most part. We're both divorced and a bit paranoid of making the same mistakes so we're more likely to talk and help each other. He's nesting by remodeling the nursery and I'm "gathering" aka shopping quite a bit for LO.

mrs_kelly1014

I had to LOL because I found myself wondering the same thing yesterday. DH is fine with 'clean enough' and I want it clean. Our office was a disaster (partially thanks to an almost 3 year old who decided to empty out just about every drawer in 10 minutes while DH was working on something and I was in the bath) and I just couldn't take it anymore today and spent a few hours cleaning it. I don't know what to do with DH's computer wires and stuff, so I just threw it all in one box in the closet and he can clean it himself when he feels like it. But, I am happy now because the rest of the room is spotless. 

Now, if only I could say the same for the rest of my house. So far today I've accomplished the office and the master bathroom. It was a decently productive day off so far.  

kristenina

Looking at some of these replies, I think it's clear that some husbands do nest, but it's more a result of their regular personalities as opposed to a hormonally-induced cleaning binge. My husband is not a cleaner, but he does like things to be mostly organized and efficient, and while he has a set pace and list of priorities, he definitely gets things done. I've learned not to rush him, and to communicate my expectations as much as I can in advance, because he's more of a planner than I am. But aesthetics and cleanliness are more important to me. So we make it work, one way or another. 

eorashan

My husband is going though cleaning binges. It is kinda funny actually. We had a mouse in the garage and he seriously went berserk. He pulled everything out of the garage, pressure washed the walls and floors and threw out just about everything we had in there. He was all freaked out about us getting Rota-virus and making the baby sick. His office is next and while it is a bit overdue, he is talking about literally pulling everything out of the room and rearranging everything.

Not sure what his office and the garage have to do with the baby, but if he is down for it, I say go for it. 

Sascha3

Mine has been nesting with projects.  Putting everything together for the nursery, of course. But he also painted a bathroom that we had not finished for the past year, and went on a furniture buying spree for us of things he had been wanting to buy.  He decided to buy now and have our house perfect before the baby comes.  So he got us a new king bed and mattress, and he also got a really cool retro bar, and found some antique crystal decanters on ebay and filled them with Jack, Makers and Grey Goose...that is his highlight of his nesting:)

Kristine Schilling

elainelbuck:

MH has been nesting for months.  He keeps asking me when it's going to kick in for me.  Unfortunately I have the nesting urge now that I'm stuck on bed rest

 

Thats not nesting... that boredom.