Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Putting DH to task...

So because DH works and I am home on my mat leave, we have gotten accustomed to me putting DS down for all of his naps, as well as doing bedtime duties b/c I BF before bed at night. If I have to be out over a naptime on the weekend, DH puts DS to nap in his swing. The only issue is DS is starting to not sleep well in the swing, and is definitely going to be too big for it before long. I told DH I'd like him to try to do a nap or two in the crib this weekend, and eventually have him do bedtime duties with a bottle too. Any suggestions how to make this a somewhat smooth transition? Should I have him come in the room and watch what I do first for a nap, or just let him try his own thing? DS still comforts best for me, but I know at some point I need to cut the umbilical cord. Any tips are appreciated! :)
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Re: Putting DH to task...

  • Well, I'd ask your DH what he'd be most comfortable with first, but personally I'd let him give it a go alone.  I had similar concerns a while back, but honestly DS goes down much faster for daddy than me.


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  • Agreed, ask DH if he wants your help, otherwise, let him do his thing.  It's going to be different than what you do, but that's ok, as long as LO is safe.   At least that's what I tell myself when things aren't done "right" a.k.a. my way :)
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  • I'd lightly let DH know what's worked for you, but then leave DH to figure out his own thing. That way, he's in control ... but if he runs into difficulty, he can give your suggestions a whirl.

    Honestly, I have been putting down our daughter at night time since day 1 (he helps with almost everything else, but tucking her in has always been my thing), so she goes down like clockwork for me. However, I left her for 3 nights last week with my husband because I had an out-of-state work trip. He did fine! Granted, he said it took 45 minutes to get her down (whereas I can just stroke her hair, kiss her, say night-night and leave) ... but he figured out a special routine between her and him. He told me that she liked it when he held her hand through the crib slats, until she fell asleep. This is how he put her to sleep for 3 nights! Totally different than what I do, and not as quick ... but its cute, the end result is the same, and DH was very proud of himself!   

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  • i just left her alone with him the first day i had to work...before then he had only been alone with her for a total of 3 hours in the 14 weeks she had been here. she is fine, hes now with her alone about half of the time, he works 5am to 10-noon(depending on the day) and then i work 9 hours shifts that vary because im a retail manager. his tasks vary from getting her up and ready for the day to putting her to bed at night and he does fine. she is ebf, i gave her one bottle before returning to work and she took it fine and shes been doing great for the whole 3 weeks. i actually feel like she is less fussy for him and naps better because i have begun to think that when she is with me she smells the milk and just wants to eat all day long on my days off.
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  • I'd just let him go at it on his own. DH will usually ask me what works, but if not, its not a big deal. Dads have to figure out their own way of doing things. I also think that the best way to get DH to do more is to let him know you trust him to do things his way. Often, my DH's way works better than mine, at least for him. I guess I just feel that we're both the parents, and I wouldn't like it if he constantly gave me instruction, so I'm not going to do that to him.
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    Annelise 3.22.2007 Norah 10.24.2009 Amelia 8.7.2011
  • Don't stand there and watch.  I think dads need to find their own rhythms with their babies just the way we did, and besides I think anyone does a worse job with someone hovering over their shoulder.  You can give him helpful tips ahead of time as to what she likes, but who knows?  Maybe he'll learn something about your baby that even you didn't know. :)
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