feeling guilty about not taking a longer maternity leave... need advice.

ChristinaBargholz

There is a couple different reasons why I'm not planning on taking a whole lot of time off:

1. I've only been at my new job since February 2011. This is good because the baby will come after my anniversary and I will get more paid leave... but bad because I haven't had that much time to save up sick leave (which is the only thing that can carry over from year to year). If I can work up until my due date and don't take any more time off besides my doctor?s appointments until I have the baby I will have four weeks of full paid leave.

2. We were depending on our tax return to supplement my income. Well... we don't know what we are going to get for our tax return this year because it's the first year we are married. Before we were married I was claiming my son (I was in college working part time) and all together we (my husband was working full time) were getting about $7,000 back. I'll be happy if we get $2,000 back this year. Does anyone know how that works?

3. With my first child I was in school part time and was only working 10 hours a week so I "went back to work and school" after just 2 weeks. BAHAHAH... I had it hard huh? I didn't need a doctor?s note to bring my son to daycare because my mom watched him. So I was maybe "occupied" 25 hours a week with "school and work"... not even close to what my life is like now. So not thinking it through I told my boss I'd be back to work by the end of April. Well that's barley 6 weeks. I'd feel so bad now if I was like... just kidding it will be more like middle or late May...

What am I going to do? I wish I had a better grasp on how much time I could take off. But the fact that I don't know how much my tax return will be and I feel like I would be going back on my word with my boss. Help???

 

Divallyn

I can't imagine having to go back after 4-6 weeks but you have to do what you have to do.

Is there any way you can reduce some of your expenses to extend the amount of time you can take?

Do you have any savings?

 

My H and I will be cutting all non-essentials when I am on mat leave. Cable, eating out, random expenses, etc will all be eliminated. We also have saved about a months worth of income in case any emergencies come up while I am off.

I am sure you have thought of this though. Just remember you are going to do the best you can do and I am sure that will be enough for your baby.

Divallyn

Oh and don't feel bad about telling your boss different. I have already told my boss different about when I plan on starting my mat leave.

Just say you didn't really think about it too much before you told them your answer last time and now that you have had time to think about it you think XYZ date is better for you and the baby. 

vanillacourage

I would tell your boss that you're having problems finding a daycare that will take such a young infant and ask about the option to take more time. He/she may not care, since it's pretty common to need more than 6 weeks. As for money, would your company let you take some time unpaid and some vacation each week that you're out, so you'd still be getting a paycheck ( albeit smaller) for your entire leave?

LenMont

I will probably be in the minority here, but I think you're going to be just fine with 6 weeks.  I took 10 with my son, and it was hard going back even then, but you do what you have to do, right?  Plus, you may be ready to go back--and that's OKAY!! I have two different friends who were going stir crazy at home by about 4 weeks. They called their bosses and said they'd be back at 6 weeks!!

Could dh take a week or two off so that you can postpone putting dc in daycare a little longer?

A short maternity leave does not make you a bad mother. At. All.   You are doing what's best for your family. Preserving your family's financial health and maintaingin a good relationship at work is a big part of being a good mom, too.  

 

LilyPotter218

I get 6 paid weeks. I will take those and then work 2-3 weeks part time to ease back I to it. I think 6 weeks is actually pretty standard.

LPQueenie99

LilyPotter218:

I get 6 paid weeks. I will take those and then work 2-3 weeks part time to ease back I to it. I think 6 weeks is actually pretty standard.

This is what I will be doing as well - 6 weeks, and then 3 days in the office for 2 weeks, then back full time. I thought this was pretty standard too, I mean most of the ladies here do 6-8 weeks here. 

countrygrl5533

LilyPotter218:

I get 6 paid weeks. I will take those and then work 2-3 weeks part time to ease back I to it. I think 6 weeks is actually pretty standard.

This is pretty standard. Most of the new infants we took when I was an infant teacher were 6 maybe 7 weeks.

OP, I think you will be okay with 6. But I'm trying to remember if you said 4 or not. If you can only get 4 weeks paid for whatever reason, you might need to take 2 more weeks unpaid for daycare reasons. I know in my state, it is a state law, no babies in daycare until 6 weeks no matter the circumstance.

As for the taxes, I have no idea. I've never gotten back more than $200. Married, we have often owed because DH was self-employed for a while. This last year, after I used my federal refund to pay what I owed to the state, I had $60 left. I was excited! 

BabyD15

I run my own business and will only be taking 6 weeks off after the baby is born. I plan on working part-time while the baby sleeps during the day after about 2 of those weeks. I will then change my work hours to work from home moving forward Mondays and Fridays. Six weeks might not be enough for some, but it seems like an eternity to me...

Sparks in training!

Try not to worry about it. I know it will be stressful. But it will work out. I am planning on taking the full 8 weeks...HOWEVER, I really need to still find out what my income will be during those weeks. Still waiting of HR to get back to me. I mean honestly, for me it will also depend on finances. If you can afford to take off until May, DO IT. Your boss will totally understand. Dont let that be any kind of reason to not take more time. My boss tried to pin point a duration for my leave, i told him we would discuss it when we got closer to the date. I mean what if i have a c-section? YOu know. So I haven't put anything in stone. 

Good lucK!!

ChristinaBargholz

We have savings but it's our emergency and we don't want to dip into it unless we have to. That is why we were going to use the tax return... so now I don't know.After getting married and buying a house all in April of last year it hit our saving pretty bad and we were down to our "emergency" and had no "extra" savings left. We are slowly building it back up (the honeymoon didn't help...).

I would cut all the "extras" out of our budget but it costs more to shut them off then turn then back on so it would defeat the purpose of doing it in the first place.

 The thing that sucks about my job is you have to use all your paid time off before you can use unpaid time off. I was planning on taking all my four weeks of paid then two weeks unpaid. 

salt78

LilyPotter218:

I get 6 paid weeks. I will take those and then work 2-3 weeks part time to ease back I to it. I think 6 weeks is actually pretty standard.

This. I'll be back to work after 6 weeks too. Do I wish I could stay home longer? Sure. But I make half the money in the family so it's back to work I go. 

yurmom

We get 6 weeks STD (70% of normal wage ) for vaginal/8 for c-section.  That doesn't kick in until after 2 weeks in which they entirely use your PTO, so theoretically it's 8 for vaginal 10 for c-section.  I thought that was pretty standard (I don't know why), but I guess not.  I'm still aiming for as much as possible, 12 if I can swing it!  Six weeks just seems such a short period of time, but I absolutely think you're baby would be fine.