Getting 14 mo. DD to bedshare without it being an all night diner con't, ugh I am discouraged

SnowflakeBride06

Isabel is almost 14 mo old and I love bedsharing with her most of the time.  She has good weeks where she sleeps by herself from about 6:30pm until I go to bed around 11pm and then she wakes up on and off (especially around 3am) and cries hard until

a. I give in a nurse her or

b. I rock her to sleep (she squirms, screams and cries and finally gives up surprisingly fast like 5-10m.)

I can do b. if she wakes up while I am still awake but once we are in bed, its waaaay to hard for me to get up and do this.

Its the pre-dawn nursing sessions that are getting tough, she won't unlatch easily and I can't sleep when she is nursing and squirming.

Caring friends and family seem to think I just put her in her room she will sleep longer without me.

I am conflicted because

1. I do like bedsharing for the most part (except DH and I aren't getting much for 'alone time" lately) and I am not sleeping well with her in the early morning.

2. We are moving in a month and I feel like any change I make now will not really stick once we move.

Do I just put up with it? I know she is teething her last 2 molars and starting on her canines...maybe it will get better after that?  Will this get better on its own or am I going to have to make more of an effort?

Currently, when I am awake, I try not to nurse her first (then I am afraid I am sending the message, if you cry long enough I will nurse you) ugh!

DD was high needs as a baby and is growing into an independent, bright, inquisitive and funny little toddler which is awesome! The sleep/bf'ing is the challenge! 

KatieB19

Just throwing this out there: Have you tried pretending to be asleep?  

We bedshare for the latter half of the night.  I do nurse when we bedshare, but if it's getting ridiculous, I pretend to be asleep and don't move or respond.  (If I try to rub his belly or something, all bets are off.)  DS whines for a bit -- and might hit my boobs, lol -- but after a minute or 2 he usually settles down and goes back to sleep. 

rosiemomma

SnowflakeBride06:

Do I just put up with it? I know she is teething her last 2 molars and starting on her canines...maybe it will get better after that?  Will this get better on its own or am I going to have to make more of an effort?

DD was high needs as a baby and is growing into an independent, bright, inquisitive and funny little toddler which is awesome! The sleep/bf'ing is the challenge! 

I know how you feel! I have had struggles with sleep and have attempted night weaning and it didn't go well. When my daughter is teething she nurses ALOT I feel like I am going to rip my hair out at some points! I really try to maximize sleep, going to bed early, getting some me time (even just a hot uninterrupted shower can help me)

I have felt like you do but have made it through those times and we both benefited from it!

Will it get better? Yes, but not likely over a few days, with lots of gentle persuasion I have reduced my daughters nighttime  nursing but at 2yrs she still nurses 2x at night and if anything disrupts her day she will nurse more. 

IT is a challenge! Congratulations on all your effort and commitment it can be difficult. I hope this helps!

C-Charm

What if she sleeps next to your DH and he calms her back down--by rocking, rubbing her back, etc.?  You could move her to his side before she wants the pre-dawn nursing that you referred to.

SnowflakeBride06

Thanks mamas! The pretending to sleep sometimes works.  If I rub her back or tummy she flips out!  She doesn't like to snuggle to DH but maybe I will work on that and see if he can move so that she will be on his other side instead of between us.