Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Nanny drama - long

So I have had my nanny for 8 weeks, 2 weeks part time and 6 weeks full time.  About a month after hiring her I had an incident where she texted me at 7:30am to tell me she was going to be a little late and then never showed for the day and wouldn't pick up her phone.  She texted me at the end of the day that her friend's car got towed with her purse and keys inside (uh, ok).  People told me to just fire her but she is wonderful in many ways, great with my son and keeps my house in order, so I talked to her about communication and kept her in.  In the month since then there have been at least  4 incidences of her being over an hour late with spotty communication and then just this last Friday she did the no show thing again.  She texted me at 6:30am that she would be here by 7:30 and then I didn't hear from her again until Saturday morning.  I fired her over the phone on Staurday when she finally returned my calls.  Basically went hysterical about went on about how she had an issue with her ex-boyfriend and had to call the police, he had ruined her life, now she has lost her job and she doesn't see the point of living anymore (made a couple suicidal comments) .  She begged me to keep her on but I was firm.  I asked her about arranging a time to pay her (going to pay her a week's severance) and get keys and she said she was too upset to talk and she would call me tomorrow.  She texted about 10 min later that she was sorry, she loved Matthew, the boyfriend was in jail so she promises the drama is over,  hoped I would reconsider and would call me tomorrow.  Please tell me I did the right thing!  I cried and cried, feeling so bad for her but I just know it will happend again. I'm a single working mother and need reliability,
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Re: Nanny drama - long

  • Cut the strings now, seriously if her boyfriend is in jail... do you want her caring for your baby? I know that doesn't mean that she is irresponsible, but who's to say that when he gets out and they get back together (they always get back together) that she won't have the boyfriend around your LO? She seems unstable and not quite grown up yet, I would move on to someone more "solid". Good luck!

    And by the way, if your gut is saying that you did the right thing... listen to it.

  • You absolutely did the right thing! She's unstable and unreliable, and you WILL find someone who is great with your LO who doesn't come with so much baggage. Your first priority is him, don't worry about feeling bad for her.
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  • You absolutely did the right thing! 2 no shows in 2 months is unacceptable! She sounds very irresponsible. You'll find someone else! GL!
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  • imagesallydraper:
    You absolutely did the right thing! She's unstable and unreliable, and you WILL find someone who is great with your LO who doesn't come with so much baggage. Your first priority is him, don't worry about feeling bad for her.

    All of this, especially the bolded. You definitely don't need that drama in your life and you don't need the stress of her unreliability.

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  • You did the right thing.  

    Spotty communication, no shows, being completely awol AND the cherry on her you need to be let go sundae....bf in jail.  

    You've gotta do what is best for your family, not what is best for mess of a gal.

    And, who knows, maybe this is the push she needed to get her life in order.  

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  • imagelhutch2:
    So I have had my nanny for 8 weeks, 2 weeks part time and 6 weeks full time.  About a month after hiring her I had an incident where she texted me at 7:30am to tell me she was going to be a little late and then never showed for the day and wouldn't pick up her phone.  She texted me at the end of the day that her friend's car got towed with her purse and keys inside (uh, ok).  People told me to just fire her but she is wonderful in many ways, great with my son and keeps my house in order, so I talked to her about communication and kept her in.  In the month since then there have been at least  4 incidences of her being over an hour late with spotty communication and then just this last Friday she did the no show thing again.  She texted me at 6:30am that she would be here by 7:30 and then I didn't hear from her again until Saturday morning.  I fired her over the phone on Staurday when she finally returned my calls.  Basically went hysterical about went on about how she had an issue with her ex-boyfriend and had to call the police, he had ruined her life, now she has lost her job and she doesn't see the point of living anymore (made a couple suicidal comments) .  She begged me to keep her on but I was firm.  I asked her about arranging a time to pay her (going to pay her a week's severance) and get keys and she said she was too upset to talk and she would call me tomorrow.  She texted about 10 min later that she was sorry, she loved Matthew, the boyfriend was in jail so she promises the drama is over,  hoped I would reconsider and would call me tomorrow.  Please tell me I did the right thing!  I cried and cried, feeling so bad for her but I just know it will happend again. I'm a single working mother and need reliability,

    I'm not intending to sound harsh but I would let it go.  She's clearly exhibited that she's not respnsible, selfish & she doesn't respect you as an employer.  Her problems are not your problems.  You gave her several chances to prove herself & she let you down repeatedly.  Who's to say it wouldn't happen again?  If you did it once & got away with it she'll do it again as long as you let her. 

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  • Oh my! You absolutely did the right thing!  She sounds awful. 
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  • imagejackieboyd:
    You absolutely did the right thing! 2 no shows in 2 months is unacceptable! She sounds very irresponsible. You'll find someone else! GL!

    This would NOT be okay at a real job, it shouldn't be okay in this situation either. One week severance is more than fair, I think, since most jobs wouldn't even give her that. All you can do is stand firm and wish her the very best in life.

    I think it's sweet that you care about her, but in all honestly if she is being so forthright about all the "drama" going on in her life- that would raise some red flags for me. I probably sound cynical, but when I was a manager I had a few employees who constantly had some crazy, larger than life drama going on to explain why they were unreliable. The people who really did have a lot going on somehow always kept it together.

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  • Someone who has all this drama, is unable to be a good nanny to your children right now.  She has a lot of issues that she needs to work out, and I question her mental capabilities...you did the right thing!!!!
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  • you did the right thing. before giving her the one week severance please have her sign a release stating that you are all paid up, and also state the reason you are dismissing her from her duties. this will protect you if she tries to claim you owe her as well if she tries to collect unemployment

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  • Thanks all for your support.  I just needed some reassurance that I was doing the right thing.  I still haven't heard from her about swapping keys for her check.  I just want to get it over with and close this chapter but I have a feeling she will draw it out a little longer
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  • Run!

    I would not feel comfortable having Ms. Suicidal Threats for Power, Boyfriend in Jail, No Responsibility  For Own Problems with my house keys and my child. 

  • Yes, cut the strings.

    I know it's hard not to feel bad for her, but people who have that much drama in their lives always have that much drama in their lives. It won't ever get better.

    That and I don't know if you want to asscociate yourself with that sort of situation. I know we shouldn't judge but you never know what you get wrapped up in down the line.

  • You did the right thing - and change your locks.

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  • If I can't get her to agree today to meet and swap keys for paycheck I was planning on changing the locks tomorrow as a precaution.   Thanks all!

     

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  • Maybe I am overcautious but I would change the locks even if she gave the key back. I would also not pay her severence because of the no-shows.
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  • imagedairygirl19:

    I know it's hard not to feel bad for her, but people who have that much drama in their lives always have that much drama in their lives. It won't ever get better.

    This!!!  Nanny sounds like a trainwreck.  I wouldn't want someone like that caring full time for my child even without the no-shows. 

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  • Hopefully drama is over.  Got my keys, which are the kind that cant be duplicated, and gave her payment.  Thanks all, I feel much better.
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  • I think you did the right thing!  She sounds pretty sketchy.  You need someone that will be there everyday.  That's their job!  She sounds full of drama.  Boyfriend in jail...for what?  Making suicial comments....what if she does something while watching your baby?  And honestly, she could have just been making those remarks to make you feel bad and pulling on your heart strings!  Stay firm, you don't want someone like that around your baby.  I understand we all have some issues sometimes, but that many in 8 weeks is ridiculous!

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