To those with deployed spouses
Are you going home for the holidays?
I'm staying at our house while DH is deployed. My mother keeps asking me to come home for Christmas. While I would love to, I get stressed out thinking about it.
My DD is almost 15 months old, and is a busy bee. She has to be moving at all times, so just a simple 20-minute car ride to the store is usually rough. I can not imagine driving 1.5 hours one way to the airport and then traveling across country (my family is on the opposite coast) by myself with her.
My parents are divorced and some of my family lives 3 hours apart - so I would also have to rent a car and drive to see all of them because if one found out I went home and didn't visit, they would be upset (understandably).
It seems totally not worth it to me.
What would you do?
Re: To those with deployed spouses
I am in the same situation. My family and his family are on the opposite coast. My mom is trying to shame me into coming home but I don't want to. It seems like it would be a huge pain. Plus both sets of our parents are divorced and they all live within 6 hours of each other. They expect me to come see all of them. So I would have to drive with a 15mos old in possible bad weather to visit four different people. No thanks. Also what if I hit bad weather flying to or from there. DD and I could end up stuck in an airport for the holidays. What am I supposed to do about getting her presents home? I can't bring them all on the plane. I would have to pay to UPS them.
For all the reasons I listed above I will be staying home for the holidays.
This exactly. Why should you have to fly across country AND drive for hours?
You guys are right. I'm not sure my mother will come out, but it honestly won't bother me. I have spent the holidays alone two other times (I was active duty and my DH was deployed during this time).
I guess my concern was that I didn't want my LO to miss out. She's only 15 months though, so I know it is not a big deal.
My in-laws offered to fly out, but they literally just left after visiting for 2 weeks. I know they don't have that much vacation time anyway.
Personally, I would go.
I have a two very small kids who are very active but I have traveled for special occasions a lot over the past 6 months. Getting there can be tiring (bordering on maddening) but I have ALWAYS been happy once I arrived. It gives me a change of scenery, some extra hands who are happy to help, and helps pass the time.
If it is really too much for you to wrap your brain around, can some family come to you? I would hate for you to be lonely on Christmas.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I'm probably going to end up at the funny farm. I'm driving 30 hours with 2 kids and 2 big dogs to see my extended family and my in-laws. While my MIL can get on my nerves, she is a wonderful grandma and is absolutely amazing with the kids. I looked at flying, but it was expensive to fly out of SD. It's cheap to fly out of LA, but then I'm either dealing with paying a crap ton for parking or dealing with a bus ride from the train station to LAX. I decided it would just be easier to drive.
I understand the divorced parent thing though. My parents live on the other side of the country and my mom is a major drama llama. Her living arrangements are not condusive to us spending much time there (it's small, not child proof). My dad's house is much more family friendly, but my mom would have a fit, if we don't spend more time with her. Families are fun.