Parenting after a Loss

Update on us

I haven't been able to be on the bump in what feels like ages. Logan's sleep (or lack of) has made for one very exhausted mommy. Naps are no better so I find that I have very little time for myself these days. I feel like I'm almost in survival mode like when he was a NB.

We are doing everything within our power to avoid CIO so right now we're working with a sleep coach to work on his sleep crutches. It'll be a week tomorrow and so far he's already made some (slow) progress. He no longer needs the swing to move, or music when he's asleep. We've cut out his first night feeding at 9:30 and have begun the transition into his crib. The past two nights he's managed to fall asleep there and have his first stretch of sleep there. Once we can get him to sleep all night in his crib we'll begin to address his sleep/suck association and try to get him on some sort of schedule during the day as well (we still feed on demand). Right now it's looking like his sleep cycles are abour 45 minutes long, which means that's how often he wakes up at night to comfort nurse. It's been like this pretty consistently since he was about 5 1/2 months old. Fun times.

I really hope we both start to get more sleep soon and I can start feeling more like myself again. I'm not a fan of this irritable, cranky person I've become. I've also started feeling bitter about sleep--like when I hear people complain about waking up once or twice a night, or when everyone around me brags about what a great sleeper they have and how their kid has STTN since x weeks old. My SIL is pregnant right now and I even found myself wishing that this next baby is a horrible sleeper Indifferent That's honestly not like me at all and I really don't mean it. I guess it's just that whole misery loves company thing.

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Re: Update on us

  • imageScout2005:

    I'm sorry you guys are struggling. It's fair to be "bitter" about other sleepers, it sucks to deal with this.

    We had to resort to CIO finally to get her down at night, and it was rough. Right (for her) but rough. Sleep stuff is the pits. I hope the sleep coach has the key for you guys. 

    Us too. I was so not for it until nothing else worked. I am sorry you are struggling so much. I hope you get some sleep soon. 

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  • I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope the sleep coah helps, things improve, and you get some rest.
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  • Oh sweetie, I'm sorry.  Hope the sleep coach helps and L's sleep improves.  ((hugs))
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  • That sounds awful. I hope you it gets better soon. ((hugs)) I am glad to see an update from you though.
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  • I hope the sleep coach helps
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  • ((HUGS)) That sounds extremely draining in every way.  I hope you see some results soon.

    Come on Logan, Mama needs to sleep! 

    Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
    Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
    DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
    Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
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  • I hope you continue to see results. Sleep is so hard. Our sleep issues are starting to affect my job and marriage.
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  • ((HUGS))  I hope Logan's sleep schedule improves soon, so you can start feeling more like yourself.
    Lilah Eve---our angel in heaven: Born sleeping 12/2/09 @ 28w3d. We love you and miss you everyday, little angel.
    Isabella Faith---Born 12/17/10 via c-section.
    Abigail Marie---Born 11/16/12 via c-section
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  • ((Hugs)) I hope it gets better and yiu get some sleep soon.
  • I'm so sorry. I also have a suck to sleep association and she doesn't take a paci. I hope things get better for you soon!

    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12

  • I hope the sleep coach works for you guys.  When your kid isn't sleeping it's so frustrating to hear about kids that are sleeping.  And to see parents who are getting more rest than you.  I hope the both of you get some much needed rest soon.
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