Realization Today!

pinkswimmer

Well today I realized that I am a bitter infertility hag! And i really dont want to be! I was driving around my sister in law today who is on number 2 and it hit me... DH and I bought a house about 2 1/2 years ago... After we bought our home everyone tried to do it behind us. Well to get our home my husband had been planning for it since he was 16. When all of us were looking at which college or which party was next he was working and keeping his credit perfect. I was angry that people thought that with no money down and bad credit that they could buy a house. Not just did they think it but then they would say they got approved!!!! I was furious I felt like they were trying to under play all the work that my DH did to get us where we are today! But today driving around I let all that go... my sister in law and brother in law are hurting for money... I am trying to help them. I even gave her a job.... she starts tomorrow. And all of a sudden I realized I wasnt mad that they were trying to buy a house! I wasnt mad that they were under playing my DH work. I was mad because I felt like we were financially ready to have a family and everyone else was doing it wrong. They werent married werent even together and they got pregnant! They had no job and got to have what i wanted!!!! And i did it right... I went to school... I got my career started... My DH got his career started... we bought a house... we paid off all our cars... we were ready! We wanted kids! And they got them! But i guess just because we think we are ready IF had something else to say! Today is the start of the rest of my IF journey! I am letting it go! I want everyone I know to succeed and be happy! In fact I want to help the if i Can! 

 In short... Today was a good day! I realized that I am a great Aunt and person... and that being bitter is only hurting me... they all get to continue being happy! So here is to the future ladies! All of us getting our BFP's that we deserve! And next year on cloud nine with our new babies!!!

 Thanks for listening! Its nice I am able to tell people this that dont look at my like I am horrible for feeling this way!