Thanksgiving- is this weird poll?

illinigal

 We generally do the actual holiday with either my family or my Dh's family and then the day before or after or surrounding weekend with the other family.  We try to vary who gets the actual holiday and who gets the weekend from year to year.  We usually also coordinate with my sister so we can be with our parents and her family at the same time and then she is at/with her inlaws the same day Dh and I are at his family.  

Several weeks ago, we tried to start planning things.  Since sister's inlaws are picky and Dh's are flexible, Dh and I usually let my sister and clan decide what dates work, and then Dh tells his mom what date we are meeting with my family and Dh's mom picks another date because she usually doesn't care and isn't crazy.  Same thing this year.  We kept trying to get a date out of sister.  Apparently, she wants to have Thanksgiving day at her house and invite both sides.  Dh and my dad don't like sisters MIL.  My mom is "the nicest person on the planet" per Dh and she won't say anything.  Dh thinks it is weird to do combined/both families and doesnt understand why sister won't do two thanksgivings.  I don't think it is that weird.  I asked Dh if he could suffer for a couple hours since he doesn't like sisters MIL.  They already want me to bring pumpkin cheesecake for dessert since it was so good last yr.

I asked Dh what he was going to tell his mom.  He said he didn't see why we had to go to two holidays and he just wants to tell his mom to have hers on Thanksgiving day and then we go there. I said I wanted to go to my family's too and it didn't seem right to say that now because we already said Dh's mom didn't care and now it would seem odd that its the same day.  If we didn't try to plan ahead and they just ended up the same day, we'd have to chose, but I don't think we can change what we said a couple weeks ago without it being odd, you know.  

Dh still insists it is strange  to have combined family holidays.  I'm not sure what we are going to do.  I was planning to be at home and make people come to us at 33 weeks pregnant.... Ugh... 

[poll] 

madelyn07

I don't think it is weird.

The first Thanksgiving that DH and I spent together (we started dating right after Thanksgiving so we were actually engaged by this next Thanksgiving) was a combined holiday at his mom's house. My dad, brothers, SILs, niece and nephews came down and joined us. 

And last Thanksgiving my dad, his girlfriend and my in-laws all came down to Alabama to be with us.

 

Faith722

I don't think it's weird either, but I can understand why your DH would be uncomfortable.  It's one thing to have to deal with in-laws, but this is asking him to deal with his in-law's in-laws.   Honestly, it's only one day out the year so I think he should just grin and bear it.

FWIW, we do separate holiday celebrations with my family and DH's.  I've always thought that once we had kids I would want to have either Thanksgiving, or more likely, Christmas at our place and invite both families.  The thought of having our VERY different families together in one space is pretty scary though.

STL34

For the last few years, my parents came with me to my husband's aunt's house for Thanksgiving.  This year will be different since his grandparents moved in with his aunt in a different state.  They will have Thanksgiving at his other aunt's house and we cannot leave town.  So, my parents (and maybe my sisters and their families) will have Thanksgiving at my house.  MH's sister and her family are invited as well as my little sister's BIL and his family and my little sister's FIL. So, we may have representatives from 3 families at my house for Thanksgiving Day.

I hope things work out and you get to spend time with your family and your husband's family to celebrate Thanksgiving!

DeputiesWife

I dont think its weird at all....

When DH and I lived at home we would do it all the time -- my SIL (brothers wife) often has my MIL over for family things with her family. I think its great!

I believe that holidays are about spending time with family. 

ETA - DH always says the more the merrier. I say bring more wine! 

lovemygs

I'm in the minority, but I do think it's weird and that is why we always spend Thanksgiving day with my family and see DH's fam over the weekend.

His brother will have everyone over and SIL's family will be there, or his sister will have everyone over and BIL's family will be there.  They are not either of our families and absolutely not who we want to hang out with for Thanksgiving. 

lovemymonkey

I voted it's not weird b/c we've done it before. My family is really small though (just me, my mom (widow), and my sister and her husband and 2 kids) while DH's family is big (15 of us) so occasionally when my sister (who lives 6 hours away) is unable to come up for Thanksgiving or Christmas, I just host and invite all the in-laws and my mom and aunt (who is also a widow and has no kids in the area) over and we celebrate together.