night weaning, bedsharing and balance help needed

sarahandeddiejune212008

Hi ladies.  I often lurk here and am in need of some advice.  I have been bedsharing with DD for almost her whole life.  She has always nursed a lot at night, but it has increased lately.  It doesn't appear that she is getting any teeth, but I think we may be going through separation anxiety.  I'd really like to night wean her and then transition her to the crib.  Neither one of us is getting good sleep and DH hasn't slept with us in several months.  Bedsharing is starting to take a toll on our marriage.  I just have no clue how to go about this without using CIO and I am anti-CIO.  The past 2 nights I have told her that milk is all gone and she'll have to wait until morning.  She fussed for a few minutes and then went back to sleep, but she woke up an hour later wanting to nurse.  She will also stay latched on for hours on end.  I'm just feeling so guilty over this whole thing, but I'd really like to get some sleep.  Any suggestions for a gentle way to night wean and transition to the crib?  I'm assuming I probably need to night wean first and then transition.

sarahandeddiejune212008

I wish DH could help, but he works nights.  I think that is the biggest obstacle we face.

Mrs._F

Dr Jay Gordon and Ferber have great, non-CIO night weaning methods. I've had success with The Ferber route - pushing night feedings later and each nigh by small increments (15 or 30 minutes each night).

As far as getting her into a crib, I am no help. We decided to transition DS to a mattress on the floor in his room. He never took to his crib, and it was an easier transition with the floor bed, because I could lay with him while he fell alseep and then sneak out. This could also work with a toddler bed or regular bed with rails.

Good luck!

Under.the.Rose

- To ensure it's not teething, give her a dose of Advil (not Tylenol) 30 minutes before bedtime.

- Have your DH bedshare with her for a week so she gets used to not being able to just roll over and nurse.

- Once she falls asleep (complete with limp limb signs -- if he lifts her arm, it flops back down, no reflex no waking up) have him start transferring her to her crib

- Ensure the crib has something like flannel cotton sheets so they aren't shockingly cold. Also try a sleep sack so she stays bundled and you don't have to worry about her kicking off blankets and waking herself up by getting cold.

- Try some white noise in the room and a night light.

- Have your DH tend to her when she gets up and continue transferring her to the crib when she falls asleep.

- Give her lots of her favourite food (like cereal) before bed so she doesn't feel the need to nurse herself to sleep as much.

Good luck! 

Under.the.Rose

sarahandeddiejune212008:

I wish DH could help, but he works nights.  I think that is the biggest obstacle we face.

Oh didn't see that... Hmmm...

The biggest problem is that the night weaning won't happen when she can nurse so easily beside you in bed. Without night weaning, she'll continue to wake up partly out of habit.

Will she fall asleep in a swing or car seat and allow you to transfer her (while sleeping) to her crib?