Someone talk some sense into me

chancyd

Hey guys,

I'm new here because I just need to know that I'm not alone. I'll be 24 in January, and I'm a Ph.D. student. Just this June, my husband and I got married. However, we've been together for 3 years.

 Until the past 6 months or so, I never really wanted children. Now, I'm wanting a baby very badly. The urge is almost alien- like it's not of me! LOL

 Obviously, my husband thinks it's a bad idea (truthfully, I know it is too), but I can't shake it. Is this the ticking clock everyone talks about? I'm too young to feel this way.

Has anyone ever been in a situation where they wanted a child but knew it wasn't such a good time? How do you cope? TIA:)

sacey21

Hi! I'm new too and I totally have baby fever. I think it is totally normal-a natural desire!

BoopADoopBetty

Not to sound snarky, but a baby board won't help.

Just put your mind on other things (finishing school, work, home, hobby, vacations, etc.)

Something that also usually helps people and you and your H sit down and decide a time when you'll TTC (whether it be in a few months/years) having a goal to count down to can usually quell it a bit.

chancyd

Yea, I think if I could get him to say "in x amount of time" it would help.

iowandfw

for the time being, focus on life besides babies. it sounds like your husband is not ready (yet) and you have alot of stuff going on. Enjoy it.  The desire is a good thing- at least you know now you want kids. your husband and you can discuss the details for later.

chancyd

Thanks for the reasurrances! That's all I needed, really. I know for most women it's hard to imagine, but I never wanted children, so the whole desire has left me kinda shocked. Again, I know that sounds weird to most women.

 And I know that having children is not something you do willy nilly Just needed someone to say it's ok to feel conflicted

emilie1116

Definitely set a timeline. Enjoy life with just your DH. If he's not ready, then you should wait.

XXXXX222

Hello. Sounds like you have some good sense. ?Good for you. ?Is it possible that, being newly married, you're used to planning for something big (the wedding), and you're looking for the next big thing to plan for? ?Good luck with your studies.

chancyd

Thanks for the compliment, sulfababy:-) I've thought about it, and yea,it probably does affect me. There really is such a thing as post wedding depression! Thanks again.

Anna&Matt

It's a totally normal feeling but like some of the pp's said being on a board related to pg will not help, it will definitely make it worse. What I did was focus on all the things I loved about my life before we were at that point like going out with friends, sleeping in, drinking, etc.?

easjer05

Nearly every single one of my friends went through a serious case of baby fever within 6 months of their weddings.  It's just the natural progression ingrained in us and the next natural step for a lot of people in their relationships.  Also, it's something that sort of sneaks in when the excitement of wedding planning and early marriage begin to wear off.

Don't feed the baby fever, and it'll probably disappear on it's own.  Besides that, cope by talking about when you do want to start a family, what you hope to accomplish before then and finding hobbies.  That's not snark, it's honest advice.  Enjoy your time as just a couple and take time to enjoy each other.