About to pull my hair out

julieb00lie

This is my first time on this board.  I have no idea if I have PPD or not. 

Most days DS naps terribly.  No matter how hard I try to pay attention to his cues and his awake time, he usually wakes up 30 minutes into his naps.  He wakes up mad because he is so tired.  It snowballs for the rest of the day and he gets more and more fussy.  It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't so tired. Since he sleeps in 2.5 hour average stretches at night, I just want to get a nap in during the day.  I'm exhausted. But I spend all day trying to get him to nap again, all for it to last only 30 minutes.  And I can't just abandon the naps and put him his swing or play mat because he just fusses from being so tired.  And I've tried it all...swaddle, paci, rocking, shhhing, etc.

Right now I'm so frustrated...I don't even want to be around him.  I want someone to come home and take him from me for a while.  Let me sleep damn it.  But he is BF and wants to nurse every 2 hours.

And I miss DD.  I have to spend so much time with DS.  There may be some resentment there.  I'm just so sad right now.  I want to go back to work.  This newborn phase is just not for me.  I can't stand the sleepless nights, the gassy issues, burping failures, crappy naps, and this little person constantly yelling at me (so it feels like some times).

I really think I could handle it better if I had some sleep.  I wish so badly he would give me a 4 hour stretch.

I'm really just so frustrated.

ksspiff

I have no advice, but you have my complete sympathy.  Everything is worse without sleep!
I'm with you on the newborn phase...it sucks.

You are in my prayers. 

HelloWaldorf

2u2 is hard . Especially if you're not getting enough sleep. I think you'd benefit from some mom time. If even a little. Do you have anyone to help with the kids?

I hope you feel better soon. It will get better. 

EVA116

I am so sorry. No sleep is the worst. I hated the newborn stage...hated it. Try and get some help from someone for a little while.

frerejacques

My first child was EXACTLY this way. We could set our watches to 30 minutes and she would wake up precisely then--never napped longer. Nights were just like you describe, too. She started napping better at 7 months old, when she went from 30 min naps to 2.5 hr naps all of a sudden. She finally slept through the night at 16 months. Now, at 4.5 years, she is still very energetic and never seems to tire out, though she sleeps well at night.

The good news is, I got better at dealing with the sleeplessness as the months went on. I would sometimes put her in the stroller and walk as that helped her sleep longer than she would elsewhere...but you have another child, so this will be even more challenging for you.

I hope it gets better very soon. Go to bed as early as you can in the evening! 

gallegosdc

I don't have any advice, but I understand.  No sleep sucks and newborn stage - HATED IT!

mrssolimene10

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through, and all I can say is to hang in there and know that you aren't the only one who feels this way and maybe going to see a therapist might be the best thing to do right now. My son is a little over 2 months and I just started seeing a therapist and trust me, it works! Just letting someone hear the way you are feeling and giving some advice is wonderful. I don't have much support either so when he gets fussy with gas and fights his sleep I too have those feelings of just not wanting to be bothered with him. It makes you feel like a horrible mother/person when you do feel that way and then it just becomes a big circle of emotions. It's hard work but just know that if the baby is clean, fed and just being fussy for no reason it's okay to put them down and walk away for a couple minutes. I thought that if I did that I would be doing something bad but your gonna end up going crazy if you don't take a breather. We don't get any breaks so we have to make them for ourselves. I wish you the best of luck and again just hang in there! I understand what you are going through and it breaks my heart to hear someone else going through the same.

jacksonandbradysmom

I completely understand where you are.. I should be napping right now while my son is but he is going to wake up anyway, so I thought I would check the posts instead. This NB stage cannot pass soon enough. I miss my older son, too. We used to spend a lot of quality time together and now I am spending all my time feeding, burping and trying to calm a fussy baby. Everyone tells me to hang in there, that this will pass and it will all be worth it. I hold on to that! We just need sleep. Please know you are not alone.

julieb00lie

Thanks ladies. I'm so glad I'm not alone on this. I have seen several of my friends with their newborns and they seem like they are not even phased. Everything seems so easy for them. Drives me bonkers.