Attachment Parenting

Off-topic: Have you ever moved away from your family?

I've lived in one small town my entire life. My husband grew up around here, so both of our families are here. We have a 21 month old son, and am due with our 2nd in January.

DH just found out on Friday that his job is being eliminated in January. The company doesn't want to lose him, so they offered him the same job, 10 hours away in Texas.

 It would be in a town about the same size we live in now. The cost of living is cheaper and the climate would be nice year round. The company is willing to fly us out there to check the place out. 

There are no job opportunities around here in his field. They don't open up very often. He feels like if we stay here, he'd be stuck working a college-type job that he would hate in a few years. I do in-home daycare, so I would be able to do my job whether we move or not.

 My parents are sooo sad that we may be moving. They are what is holding us back. I feel bad because we would be having our parents' 2nd grandbaby and then moving right away. I think of all the small things I would miss with my family. It makes me miserable thinking about leaving them, but I don't want my husband to be miserable working here.

I guess I'm just looking for success stories or advice. We are so torn and don't know what to do!! 

Re: Off-topic: Have you ever moved away from your family?

  • Yes, I moved from Canada to Mexico 6 years ago and don't regret it. Yes, I definitely miss my family, but then every moment we have together is that much more special and it gives them a chance to come down and I go up 1-2 times a year as well. I'm not going to lie, it is hard, but I think 10 hours is nothing compared to a day long trip with 2 flights, 3 countries, etc!
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  • We reloated from our hometown for my career/job.
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  • I live four hours from my family and see them about 4 times a year.  We live ten minutes from in laws but never see them because they're miserable assh0les.

    Moving to a new place is always a rough transition - having to make new friends and build a new life, but it's doable, and in your situation it definitely sounds like it's worth it!  Just think of it as an adventure :)

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  • We moved 4 hours away from my family. I absolutely hated it. DD was a month and a half old, it was a hard drive. We live in Texas so it was a 4 hour drive through nothing. We thought we were going to live in a better situation, but it didn't work out. We have just moved back to the Coastal region and I love it! We aren't really near the coast, but the coastal counties shows up on the map on the weather reports lol. I think with your situation it would be crazy not too.
  • I moved away from my family for 7 years (2 plane rides). I LOVED it and I am very, very close with my family. Look at it like this: You can always move back and you only live once! I say Go For it!! There's always an adjustment period (a year at least, I'd say) but you might as well go and check the place out. :)


  • I haven't ever moved away, but I just wanted to give you some encouragement. It sounds like this is a perfect opportunity to try something new. I agree it will be hard to not have your support system nearby, but look at this as a new adventure. If it doesn't work out, you can move back. It's my DH's dream for us to pack up and move away somewhere, but the right opportunity hasn't come up yet for us. It makes me nervous to think about, but its kind of exciting, too. Good luck with everything!

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  • As a child, we never lived close to any family. I have very strong relationships with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Distance doesn't make the relationship, the people do.

    In a few years, we will probably be moving away from family again. It's not the easiest thing, but it can be done, and you can make a new home. Bloom where you are planted. : )



  • We moved her almost 4 years ago now. We are about 9 hours away from my family. It is really hard sometimes especially because my mom has been battling cancer (brain tumor) for the last year. When I miss them we Skype. We see each other several times a year, between us going there and them coming here on average at least 4 times a year. The good thing about moving away from family is that when you do see them you appreciate the time so much more. We have been able to make some great memories over the past few years because when we see each other we spend real quality time together. It sounds like you should make the move.  
  • I joined the military in 2004.  I moved from my family in Cali to New Mexico for 2.5 years, and now have been in Germany for 5 years.  Its hard sometimes, but I make it a point to call my family often, and try to go home at least once a year.  DH isnt very close to his family, so its not a very big deal to him.  Next year we move to North Carolina, so that will be better, my brother lives there.  I am not looking forward to raising my children so far from my parents, but will keep them a part of my lo's life through skype, pics etc.  The hardest part is that my step-son lives in Kansas (with DH's ex-wife).  But we talk to him on skype and on the phone weekly, and post youtube video's to him all the time (he is only 5, so the convo's tend to be pretty short, but he loves to watch our dogs play or my husband play the drums on youtube). 
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  • hubby and i recently moved about 8 hours away from our home town (he's a college professor). this job is only temporary, so we'll be moving somewhere new next summer. (we'll probably end up moving around a few more time in the coming years unless he gets a tenure job he really likes)

    i miss my family a lot, but we're going home for the holidays, and we plan to do that every year that we are able to.

    as long as you keep in contact and visit when you can your relationships will not suffer. you'll probably end up valuing them more!
    absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

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  • I moved a 7 hour plane ride and 3 hour drive after landing away from my family about 7 years ago. I do get homesick still sometimes but I try to make it home once a year to see them and call my parents every Sunday. Being further away makes you value your time with them more... when I lived a 2 hour drive from them sometimes I would barely talk to them on the phone and only see them every couple of month... Now we are much closer!
  • yup we moved 13+ hours away from my family, and about 2+ hours away from his... The same situation, a job opportunity came for DH that we just couldn't turn down.  I miss my family, but so far I LOVE it! DH is much happier at his new job, and LO and I are enjoying being in a new place.
  • For my first 30 years, I never lived more than 2 hours from the place I was born. At most, my family was an easy day trip away. My husband's family was a 3 hour drive, so still totally doable in a day, or at least as an easy overnight trip.

     At 30 and 6 months pregnant with our first baby, we moved entirely UP the country (from Georgia to Wisconsin). My husband had graduated and the economy was terrible...good jobs were scarce. We pretty much had to go where the paycheck was.

    My husband's family moved around a lot, so even though we were taking that side's first grandchild away, they understoond. My family never leaves...almost all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins live within that same 2 hour drive. It was hard, and my mom was really sad, but we had to do what was best for our family.

    It really hasn't been bad. I found mom's groups and though it has taken awhile, I've formed a good support group here. Both sets of grandparents come visit a few times a year, and we've been down there a few times as well (we even drove once, though it was a 16+ hr drive). 

     Now we're moving again, to a city 2 hrs from where we are now, so I have to start over again in some ways, but I've learned an awful lot about myself from our initial move north, and I definitely think my husband and I are closer because of it. Adventures can be great fun!

     Plus, one of the things that my husband learned from his military-move parents is that you can't stay where you are for friends or family. You have to make the decision that is best for YOU and your immediate family. If that means going where your husband will have a good salary and be happy with his job, then go. You can visit and so can the grandparents. 

    Give it 2 years. If you aren't happy, then talk about ways to compromise or move back. But you may just find an amazing new area and be very happy with your family's adventures! :)

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  • We just moved 2 hours away unfortunately the same time my mother moved 1.5 away from where we used to live so now we are 3.5 hours from her and 2 hours from everyone else. It is super hard but I'd just day you should do what is best for your family long term... that's what DH had to do whether we liked it or not.
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