I am officially THAT mom... — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

I am officially THAT mom...

I'm a substitute teacher (obviously can't get a job cause there are none!) and I'm subbing a half day tomorrow. It's my first day this school year because I had DS in August. I figured I would work myself back into gently by doing a half day. My sister in law is going to watch DS for me and I totally wrote out two and a half pages of care instructions...right down to holding off on changing his diaper when he farts cause there's always more to come. SIL is completely competent and capable of taking care of DS for a few hours (she has a bachelors in psychology and a masters in social work) but I feel like nobody does or ever will know DS like DH and I do. I hope she doesn't think that I'm undermining her intelligence! Someone please tell me I'm not crazy and that I'll be fine tomorrow!!!
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Re: I am officially THAT mom...

  • I can be like that too but mainly because I'm a very detail-oriented person.  As long as you don't constantly call or barrage her with questions when you come to pick him up than I don't see a problem.
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  • Lol. I'm the SAME way! For the longest time I would type out a full list of sleeping, feeding, playing preferences...all the way down to her favorite books. My MIL took it in stride. She knows how I am. But you are right...nobody knows your child like you and DH. But your baby will be fine. You will struggle more than the baby will.
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  • I watched a friend's little boy a few times and she did the same thing- pages and pages of instructions.  She knows that I'm an elementary school teacher with a Master's in child development, but she still wrote down everything I could possibly need to know and then some.  I was not offended at all.  She's a very protective mom and a little OCD about stuff like that.  I knew it wasn't about ME- she was just focusing on her child's needs.  As another PP said, as long as you don't call your SIL all morning or attack her with questions, I'm sure you're fine.  You could even remind her that you trust her, but you just want to provide all the info you can or something like that...

  • My DH was laughing at my nighttime routine Word Document that I typed out for my sister.  It is pretty crazy, but some of these things are very important for the caretaker to know.  You never know what piece of advice they will read and need so why not include it all?  I would be happy if I was babysitting and had a nice page of instructions.

     I used to substitute teach and I will never forget the day I walked into a kindergarten classroom and saw a 3 page document on how to take lunch count... My how times have changed since we were in school. It used to be, eating at the cafe or not eating at the cafe. :)

  • Lol.  My sister did that the first time she left my niece with me overnight.  I thought it was hilarious especially since I been babysitting her since she was born.  My sister laughed at me the first time I left DS1 with her for a few hours cause all I said is the milk is in the fridge and I ran out the door.  Yes I am officially that mom too.  
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  • I would do the same thing... especially now that I learned I need to!  We left DD with MIL for 3 hours last weekend and of course she didn't listen to anything I told her.  We left right after I fed DD and I told her that in approximately 20-30 she will get sleepy (yawning, looking away, etc) and then within 5-10 minutes at the most put her in the swing.  Well, she never put her in the swing and DD wouldn't nap longer than 10 minutes on her so she "just played with her to make her tired".   Ummm,  I guess she didn't hear me say that she needs minimal to no stimulation to fall asleep?  MIL thinks that shaking colorful key rings in front of DD's face really fast because she likes to watch it will make her sleepy not overstimulate... I think it's been a while since she's been around a baby.

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  • I would have done the same thing! And you feel that way because you DO know your son better than anyone else! No matter how many degrees she has, he is still your precious baby and you know what's best for him. I highly doubt she will be offended! I wouldn't! I would actually be thankful because then I would know exactly what to do. BUT I'm also a freak that likes rules and guidelines so I know what to do and how to do things.
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  • Thanks everyone for your reassurance!! SIL was thrilled that I gave her all that info. Her SIL would drop off her son with my SIL and not leave or tell her anything...not what time he last ate, when he needed to eat again...nothing! She was soooo glad that I basically let her know everything possible she needed to about my LO. She wasn't offended at all. She wrote down feeding and diaper times, how much DS ate, and what was in his diapers and she wrote me a note back about how things went even though we chatted when I picked him up!! She is definitely going to get to babysit again Smile My day went very well....I love where I sub and everyone was very welcoming...I expected no less....even students were asking about DS.

    SMJ1106, I know what you mean about MIL. I am actually dreading leaving DS with my IL's. They haven't babysat yet....neither have my parents but I definitely feel more comfortable about the possibility of DS staying with my parents. I know MIL has the "I raised 2 wonderful children" attitude and will not follow my instructions.
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  • Lurking from the 3rd trimester board.... I'm glad to hear things went well, but I have to say your job probably also affected how you handled it too.  I used to be a teacher, and I know teachers always (or at least should) leave thorough notes for subs.... you were just leaving your "sub" thorough notes for the day. :-)
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