Twin Sisters

chickeyboom

Ok. So I have to vent. I have a twin sister and it's been a really rough relationship for quite a few years. Well I'm trying to get back to bonding with her and now that I'm pregnant I thought it would be great totalk about with her. Apparently I'm wrong. We got into a huge arguement today. She told me that she doesn't think I've thought this through and that I only want the "cuteness of the baby and the attention you get." I'm/ We are 27 stinking years old and I've been married for over a year. My sister and I had issues when we both got engaged close to each other.  And it came down to me moving my wedding so she could have a whole year to her self being in the center of attention. I'm trying to not get to upset about our argument but I just can't.

I am super excited about getting pregnant because we were told that we weren't ever going to get pregnant on our own and now we have. And we happened to find out and announce it the day they decided to go off birth control and start trying to get pregnant.  I didn't know this obviously when we told everyone. When I told her she said she was exicited for us but not sure why we were telling everyone so early. If it was her she would be worried about miscarriage. She then proceeded to tell me I was acting crazy because I bought a baby book two days after I found out.

 I'm just frustrated. I feel like it's not jealousy but more like crictisism. All I want is to be clost but every time I try it back fires. I thought us being pregnant or trying to get pregnant together would bring us closer. But I don't feel its going to. She told me today she doesn't want to be pregnant at the same time because I will make it all about me.

I'm not sure if its the hormones or the sting for the fight but I'm just upset.  Grrr. My family is so frustrating.  

 

hdaley

It's jealousy simple as that... In the end, she'll love your baby and it will bring you closer...

EmmaRJ

It's terrible that she has to try to ruin this time for you. I'm sorry. I agree that it's jealousy and maybe that sort of self-involvement is just a part of her personality. Don't let her rain on your parade. You already pushed your WEDDING back for her, this time it's your turn.

Cupcake36

It sounds like she has some projection issues.  I agree with Emma, don't let her bring you down.  This is your time.  And you know what?  It can be her time too, if she wasn't being weird about it.  I just don't get that mentality at all.  I would love it if I had a close family member that was pregnant at the same time as me.  It would be such a bonding experience.  It's too bad, because she is the one missing out.

JoJo42

My sis was not very interested in hearing about the baby for a while as well.  When I told her all about how excited I was to see the heartbeat, she was like... eeeewwww, it's gross to have a human inside you.  Um.. no it's not, that's how it works.  After a few weeks she seems a little bit more interested, but not as much as I thought she would be.  But honestly, it's ok, and I'm happy enough for the two of us.  Hmm... I guess my advice is to just give her time to deal with her emotions, and don't let her negativity prevent you from continuing to reach out to her.

giggles0918

I ageee with PP and not to let her bring you down.  Enjoy your time being pregnant and she will be losing out in the mean time.  She needs to learn that she does not been to be the center of attention all the time.

chickeyboom

Thanks everyone. I think it hurts more because we are twins and we are suppose to be close. She even told me today that she doesn't think we are identical twins and that she wants to get us tested again because we are nothing alike. All I have ever wanted is to be close. I've always thought it was cool. It just hurts cause I'm the only one. But I'm really happy that we are pregnant and I don't plan on letting her bring me down any more. And I'm glad to hear that space is what I should give her because I really haven't wanted to speak to her since.

Jammin4317

I'm so sorry. My brother and I are no where near as close as I would like for us to be, but it would kill me if my sister and I weren't. She's one of my best friends. With you guys being twins it must be even harder on you to not have that close bond. I would say give it another shot and if she doesn't come around then just keep her at a distance while you're pregnant. Being pregnant is such a wonderful experience and I personally don't want anything tainting my memories of it.

chusum

I have a twin sister and your relationship with yours sounds similar to mine. We got engaged witinin months of each other, and I got married quickly so she could have her big wedding and a year to plan. Our younger brother and I were married before her so she was dead set in having the first child. She was the first to be pregnant then had a miscarriage, when I got pregnant shortly after she did she was so mad at me and wished I would have a miscarriage, which I did. She pretty much didn't talk to me until I miscarried. Well she got her baby and picked a fight with me during my last muscarriage that pretty much ended our relationship. Sometimes twin sisters just plain old suck.

Mt2G1012

I'm so sorry OP and chusum.  That has to be really hard. 

chusum

heatherm818:

I'm so sorry OP and chusum.  That has to be really hard. 

Oh, I take it day by day. Nothing I can do! OP, I hope things end up working out. Things may not get better until she gets pregnant and is able to get the spotlight back on herself.

A little insight. Twins spend their entire lives trying to be unique and different. It is difficult to live your life with someone exactly like you (I am not sure about fraternal since I'm an identical). We fought so hard to have our own friends and identities. I think that runs over into adulthood and trying to constantly not share the spotlight is never easy. Everyone wants to put you in the same box all the time.