How long do you let them cry before going in?

Mouseygail

Ever since we went on vacation a month and a half ago, DS has reverted to waking up several times a night.  most times, its not tough to get him to go back to sleep, it just requires replacing a binky or patting him on the back for a second.  But i'd still love to get some uninterrupted sleep.  I admit, I'm a sucker...I'm only able to let him cry for a minute before I go in...  I'm guessing that once he is over teething, fevers, pink eye and everything else that has been disrupting his sleep, I might need to address his self soothing skills again.  How long do you let your LO's cry?  (FTR, I let him fuss longer, really as long as he's not crying, and he can play quietly as long as he wants...)

dana316

I would go in in increasing intervals, a la Ferber.  Start at 1 minute, then 3 minutes then 5 etc.

 

SeaSoul

I might wait a minute, but if it seems like he's really crying and it's not just a sleep-cry, I go right in.  Always have, always will!  I don't see myself as a sucker...I think crying in the night warrants mommy or daddy, regardless of age or how often it's happening...  But I know I am in the minority on that!

Yellow_Daisy

It depends, are we talking about full fledged crying or fussing?  If he is crying, like really crying, then I go in right away.  If he is fussing then I wait 10-20 min in the middle of the night because he usually goes back to sleep.  During the day pedi said wait 5-10 min since I've started putting him down awake and he's still learning how to put himself to sleep, but my LO is much younger than yours.

naflmj

As long as he isn't sick or teething, maybe 5ish minutes but if he's screaming I am a sucker and usually go right in. It is so rare that he wakes at night that I feel like if he's crying more than a couple of minutes, he probably needs something. 

OrangeSmoke

Honestly?  Until Harry starts hyperventilating because then I know there is NO WAY he can calm himself down, or until I hear that paci hit the floor (he likes to throw it in protest).

Alex I usually go in right away since it's not like him to cry... and also because Harry is a much lighter/nosier sleeper and would love nothing better than to join a midnight cryfest.

 

LakeGenevaBride

A lot of times I look at the video monitor and see what they are doing.  If one is standing in his crib screaming I usually go in right away.  If they are just crying and it looks like they are trying to go back to sleep (rolling back and forth or something) I let them cry for 5 mins or so and they usually go back to sleep.  Although I admit unless they are sick, they don't usually wake up multiple times per night.  That might get old real quick and require some tough love.  Every once in awhile E decides his new wake up time is 5am.  I will go in there and put him on his back and put his blankie on him.  If he gets up again he is on his own and he has cried for 15 mins or so until he went back to sleep.   I feel terrible for doing it and I certainly don't fall back asleep, but he is a cranky mess if I let him get up that early. 

ladychicago

it really depends on the "cry."   we know the difference between her yelling at us because she wants attention and her crying out in pain/because she's scared/etc.   

if it is the first type of cry - we might go in after a minute or two - because there is a chance she tossed out her blanket and we will all go back to sleep faster if that's all she needs.   We'll give it back and leave without any other interaction with her.   If it continues - we've got no problem letting that go for 15-30 minutes.   Usually she puts herself back to sleep after no more than 10 minutes.     Rarely, it turns into the second kind of cry (or we accept that she isn't going to put herself back to sleep), and we go in.  

Obviously, if it starts out as the second type of cry, we are in there in a second.   (like right now, she's cutting two molars...  last night she woke up middle of the night with a bloody murder scream.   I was in there to help soothe her immediately.).  

emmyloustu

SeaSoul:

I might wait a minute, but if it seems like he's really crying and it's not just a sleep-cry, I go right in.  Always have, always will!  I don't see myself as a sucker...I think crying in the night warrants mommy or daddy, regardless of age or how often it's happening...  But I know I am in the minority on that!

Im with sea soul on this one!